10 places you should never chat someone up

Relationships

Aug 25, 2014

Let’s face it, everyone loves a bit of random flirting, be they male or female. In a shop, at the bar, on the street, a randomer finding you physically appealing enough to start a conversation with you can sometimes be the highlight of your day.

There are certain places however where being chatted up can only end in disaster:

1. An STI Clinic

There's going to be questions asked, don't say we didn't warn you…

2. A Courtroom

"Soooo…what did you do?"

3. At a Family Occasion

Yes that cute waiter may have winked at you at your granny’s 80th birthday but proceed with caution. For the majority of your relations you are still twelve and nothing will shatter that illusion quicker than playing tonsil tennis in their presence. Don’t do it.

4. At Work

Unless you’ve landed some form of a dream job the majority of students part-time occupations are boring, demanding, smelly or all three. Sometimes a customer might make a suggestive comment that makes you blush or a co-worker might give you a flirtatious nickname but you’re probably too tired/stressed/sticky to notice. Save it for the Christmas party.

5. A Bathroom Line

I know you just peed and haven’t washed your hands. Step away.

6. The Lingerie Section

There’s only three reasons any straight lad should be in a lingerie section.

a) They’re picking up something for their other half.

b) They like smelling women’s underwear or

c) They’ve gotten lost in a Father Ted-style incident and are desperately trying to escape. Only in the third case should you return the conversation.

7. During the Walk of Shame