12 reasons it is NOT a good idea to be friends with your ex
Sometimes it can be hard to fully let a relationship go. Maybe you’re in the same circle of friends as your ex or maybe you just need that relationship you had with them – even if it means not actually being with them. Unfortunately, these friendships rarely work out, and here is why:
1. Irrational jealousy
It’s natural to start to think in terms of getting over each other being some sort of ‘competition’. Which will lead to some form of irrational jealousy. Hating someone your ex talked to at a party for no reason is irrational and stupid.
2. You.Had.Sex.With.Them.
Going back to a normal friendship after you’ve done the no pants dance a hundred times and know all each others weird habits is just impossible.
3. Friends group are going to change anyway
One of the main reasons you stay in each others social circle is that you have mutual friends.No one has the same group of friends for their entire lives, its like anything in life, you win some and lose some.
4. In the long run it’s way better to cut them off
Okay so you were all friends for a while but now it’s time to get your sh** together and move on.
5. Staying friends and seeing them move on can be crippling
And when this happens you WILL go back to the place you were 6 months before.
6. You can’t turn off your feelings
At the end of the day we are only human- staying in close contact isn’t going to give your heart a chance to catch up with your brain.
7. Accidental hook-ups
IF you do stay friends, you will probably go out together and end up back in bed. This seems like a good idea at the time but it’s really going to feck up the whole moving-on process.
8. You cannot move on if you stay friends
There’s just too much history most of the time. You need a break.
9. “We’ll stay friends is just a ‘mutual contract’”
Saying stuff like “We’ll say friends” is basically a verbal contract in which you basically mean is: “We are not going to talk sh** about each other/say anything embarrassing about what we did in bed” after we break up. It does not mean you are going to braid each others hair and watch movies together.
10. You need to give it space
Okay so maybe in a few years you can become friends but right now you need to let it die so you can move on.
11. Staying friends on Facebook is a different thing
Everyone knows this predicament- you don’t want to seem petty by blocking them on FB but don’t want daily reminders of them either. To combat this block, them from your newsfeed, notifications, and all of their friends who potentially will add pictures of them enjoying their life without you.
12. Be a strong person without needing them to be your friend
You can do it! Take the time you need to get over them and in a few years, perhaps you can be friends again.
via our content partner CT
