29 things everyone who has lived with all-girls will understand

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Sep 11, 2014

Remember a few months ago when you finally made the decision to ditch the boys and get a nice, clean house? A house where you could do your dissertation in peace, where the floorboards would be free of mousetraps, the bathrooms free of, well, plenty of things we don’t want to discuss?

The time has come and it’s going to be great. But all-girl houses have their own clichés too you know – give it a couple of weeks and we defy you not to tick off each and every one of these…

1. You constantly talk about baking but come home with supermarket cookies

2. Ditto doing your own version of Come Dine With Me, while continuing to microwave cottage cheese

3. Though your single housemate somehow finds time to cook a three course meal when their date/your hot cousin comes to stay

4. Every available surface is covered in drying underwear of the animal print/brightly-coloured Primark variety

(You save the good silk stuff for the radiator in your room).

5. Dream: Getting ready for nights out together, doing each other’s hair

Reality: Running off to separate rooms to fake tan and make up, then hollering up the stairs to discuss outfits

6. And that’s on a good day – usually it’s a full selfie/Whatsapp discussion to check they’re not wearing a similar dress before you can leave the room

7. Seminal housemate questions are not about bills. More like: ‘Are you wearing heels tonight?’ and the age-old, ‘are you going to bother with tights?’

8. You will wake up one morning to find a random guy eating (your) food in your kitchen wearing one sock, probably more than once. You’ll learn to go about your day as normal. He won't look like this:

9. At some point, your housemate’s boyfriend will move in. This will never be discussed. Quiet resentment for him, his muddy football boots and food-scavenging friends ensues

10. Reality shows reign supreme, regardless of how highbrow your degree subject is

11. Birthdays are taken pretty seriously

12. As is fancy dress

13. At some point, washing day will clash. This is what hell looks like

14. At least you’ll think that’s what hell looks like, until the plug gets clogged with hair that’s DEFINITELY not yours

15. Your clothes and shoes routinely go missing

16. At which point you’ll curse yourself for not living with guys

17. But then someone comes home with your favourite chocolate bar and does the hoovering so all is forgiven

18. There’ll be one girl who’s so busy they may as well not live there

19. And one hermit who only leaves the house for bread and cigarettes

20. You’ll attempt to be the housemate who lies somewhere in between

21. There is no escaping the drama

22. All will agree to keep the place spotless. All will forget this rule when hungry, tired, busy, dating someone, going home for the weekend or during exams