Five reasons why us Irish people are totally sh*t at dating

There are so many fab things about being Irish.

Our alcohol tolerance, Ryan Tubridy, how a cup of tea can cure literally anything…I could go on.

However, unlike our more exotic European counterparts or our straight-up American friends, we kinda self-sabotage when it comes to the whole dating thing. 

Jesus, we don't even use the word ''dating.''

Or ''date'' tbh.

In short, I think we can all agree that we're hopeless.

Navigating the battlefield of romance is tough at the best of times but we seem to have a special talent for making it even harder for ourselves.  

So why do we do this, and more importantly how do we do it?

Here are a few mannerisms that you might be familiar with…welcome to The Dark Side of Irish millennial relationship culture. 

What is the ''date'' that you speak of?

A date is a pretty straightforward concept…for everyone who isn't Irish.

What we do is; find someone we like, who likes us and message each other for about a million years until we grow a beard and die alone in our bedroom surrounded by pizza boxes, with our phones clasped in our withered hands. 

A bit too dramatic? Not really tbf. 

Game Playing

FYI all you foreign folk reading this – slagging the complete shit of someone in Ireland = fancying the arse off them. 

''Let's wait three more hours to text them back then they waited to reply to me..yeah, that'll show him that I'm interested.'' What the actual f*ck?! 

Mixed signals everywhere…you can see why we get confused. 

White Lies

We don't like to hurt anyone's feelings (unless we're taking the piss out of them) so we tell a few white lies.

''I don't mind where we go…'', ''I like that shirt'' etc. etc. etc. 

The bottom line is that we're too nice, and no one benefits from it.  

Booze 

We need it, ok? We just do.

Before a date, during a date, after a date. We're not like these Italians or Spanish who think a date is a sober-free affair hiking up a mountain to look at goats.

No – meet us at the pub, please. We'll have been there two hours with our mates having a few ''to loosen the nerves.''

Awkward Overload

We can't take a compliment, we don't like to talk about our feelings, we avoid the ridiculous are-we-together-or-are-you-shifting-other-people-talk.

We'll literally say nothing and pretend we're OK with this level of painful uncertainty for the rest of our days. Why? Because we're kind of insane if we're gonna be brutally honest with ourselves. 

If you're nodding your head a more than two of these, it might be time for a dating attitude overhaul lads.

Otherwise, your romantic future ain't lookin' too rosy.