Five ways to tell if someone has never seen Harry Potter

Anyone who's anyone has seen the Harry Potter films, right?

Wrong.

There are people walking amongst us who don't get our Harry Potter jokes or our witty quips about Snape, and half the time we don't even know who they because they're too afraid to reveal themselves.

Here are just five ways to find out if the person opposite you is as clueless about Harry Potter as you are about the upcoming exam for that 9am lecture.

1) You make a Quidditch joke and they laugh because they know they should, but the fear in their eyes is mind-blowing.

Quid-atch?

2) They smile blankly when someone makes a threesome joke about Harry, Hermione and Ron.

Threesomes are funny, right?

3) They think Voldemort is a volcano. No, they don't just think it, they know it. The clue is in the name surely.

Girls, they think they nailed that one.

4) Every single photo they’ve seen on Facebook of someone posing beside platform 9 ¾ has left them utterly mystified.

That can’t be right. Where are they? Are they lost?

5) They think Hogwarts is a skin disease experienced by our little pink friend, the pig.

Why do people talk about it so fondly?

These people look just like the rest of us, but don't be fooled, girls. Approach with caution.