8 things that will ALWAYS happen during a phonecall with your mam

When it comes to tedious stereotypes, the ‘Irish Mammy’ is definitely up there.

Along with the ‘Basic Bitch’ concept, the archetypal 'Irish Mammy' stereotype has become so overused you can now attribute any number of traits – no matter how atypical – to a woman with children and she’ll instantly become an ‘Irish Mammy’.

However, the reason the term resonated so widely at the beginning is because there truly is a few distinct characteristics which help to set 'Irish Mammies' apart, but on the whole mams are mams are mams.

And when it comes to phone conversations, they are ALL the same.

1. She will tell you who died

It’s a like morbid game of Guess Who, but your parents can’t get enough of it.

“Ah, have one more go and then I’ll tell ya.”

2. She will talk to the family pet

We used to live with this woman and we know the family cat never followed her around the house, so we can only assume she’s the one doing the following.

“I can get nothing done with her.”

3. She will call you by the wrong name at least once

You can be pretty selective with what you choose to hear during one of these conversations, but the moment you’re called by a sibling’s name, all bets are off.

“Will you calm yourself. I’ve called you much worse when you weren’t listening.”

4. She will ask after a friend whose name she can’t remember

She knows you have a friend, and she knows something’s happening with that friend, but she’s killed if she can remember who that friend is.

“Tell me, how is that lovely… oh, who is… her mam had a fall recently… who am I talking about?”

5. She will tell you something she told you yesterday

You had a 20 minute conversation the day before about your dad’s new jacket, and here she is again raving about it.

“And he didn’t want me to buy it, and sure now he won’t take it off. I’ve no hope of getting it in the wash.”

6. She will remind you about a grown-up matter you were purposely ignoring

You made the mistake of mentioning a letter you had received from the Credit Union a week ago, and the woman now has you plagued.

“You don’t want to ignore them, love. Stay in good standing with the Credit Union, that’s what we always say.”

7. She will tell you the place is ‘upside down’

A running commentary on the state of the family home is par for the course when it comes to a conversation with the mam.

“Honest to God, I’d be embarrassed letting anyone past the front door. It’s like we live in a hovel.”

8. She will ask when you’re next coming home

You might be only minutes on the bus back to the big smoke, and she’s on the blower asking when they’ll next see you.

“Honest to God, you’d swear we lived in Timbucktoo, you lot.”