9 signs you’re ready to give up the ‘madzer’ life and have a BABY

They say when you’re ready for a baby you just know. But, we’re not too sure. Surely there's a list to tick off so we know we're not making a major decision based on our hormone fluctuations?

Granted, babies are ridiculously cute and their heads happen to smell like magic and happiness, but this is precisely what hoodwinks us into thinking we’re ready, when we’re actually not.  

So if you’re wondering if you’re ready or not to become a baby mama, try out these nine sure-fire signs for size:

1. You’re ready to sacrifice your life for another human

Oh sure, it sounds dramatic, but if you’re looking after a kid, you can’t even go to the bog alone. Yep, as soon as you have a baby you’re suddenly the loyal slave of a pooing, dribbling little overlord. So in the words made immortal by “Maniac 2000”, are you ready?

2. You don’t care about giving up spontaneous nights out

The rigmarole of getting a babysitter – not to mention attempting leaving your child without having an emotional meltdown – seriously scuppers any impromptu nights on the town. Instead, a night hitting the pub is akin to a military sting operation, involving blueprints, complicated strategies and a field plan.

3.  You REALLY want a baby, but you’re worried you won’t be able for it

You know what, asking yourself this question shows maturity, so A+ for you. Most mams worry they’ll be shite parents anyway; it’s normal. And think about this, if the hilarious walking disaster that is Bridget Jones can handle becoming a mammy, so can you. (Yes, Bridget is back and she’s up the duff!) This is the woman that made blue soup for Lord’s sake.

 

4. One Born Every Minute fills you with wonderment and joy (instead of terror)

If a soothing night in front of the telly for you is listening to the harrowing screams of women as they push human beings out of their hoo-has, chances are you’re good to go.

5. You’re cool with spending money on ‘baby stuff’ and not ‘you stuff’

If you’re not absolutely horrified by the prospect of eschewing a new pair of heels for a Bugaboo, then go forth dear friend and conceive, with our many blessings.

6. Your gaff is suitable for a baby

We hate to wreck the buzz, but there are practicalities to caring for a baby. So if you’re sharing a party house with six students and a mysterious man in his 50s called Maurizio, chances are you’re not ready to start planning for a kid.

7. You’re a responsible, functioning member of society

If you’ve answered yes to this, what’s your secret? We joke, we joke. First things first, if the word ‘responsible’ makes you feel queasy, you’re probably not that responsible. Secondly, if you beg your Mam to fill out your forms because you’re “not able for it” we’re going to suggest holding off on the old fertilisation.

8. You’ve had your baby names picked out since you were 12

If you’ve been dreaming about meeting Arabella, Jaxon and Honeyflower for as long as you can remember, you’re probably ready by now.

9. You just want one goddammit

Because sometimes you DO just know. Go for it girl!

And to get you in the mood for 123,679 nappies and pacing the floor with puke on your shoulder, check out Bridget juggling Colin with McDreamy in the gas new flick Bridget Jones's Baby. Welcome back Bridge!