Gary Beadle tries to comfort GCSE students and FAILS so miserably

Sep 1, 2016

Working in reality TV is the type of career path which can either make or break a person, and luckily for Geordie Shore’s Gary Beadle it is definitely a case of the former.

But does swapping his days drawing the dole and playing Call of Duty for jet-setting around the world with MTV really make Gaz qualified to offer career advice to teenagers?

In his latest Daily Star column the controversial Geordie advised GCSE students “not to give a f*ck about where [they] end up” because school results are not really indicative of a person's future success.

To stress his point, Gaz used real examples from his own school days and in doing so dragged what is basically a valid argument right down into the gutter.

In the piece Gary claimed that he wasn’t “the thickest kid in the class” and so he instead awarded that coveted title to the boy who was supposedly so lacking in brains a picture of him “with a lollipop up his nostril and hands down his pants” could be found next to “thick” in the dictionary.

The reality star explained that said boy eventually went on to hire 20 staff at “one of the biggest building apprentice companies in Newcastle”.

Thanks to his own efforts, the “thickest kid” is now “sitting on a healthy couple of mil”.

Meanwhile “the thickest girl” in his year went from “smoking 20 fags a day [and] probably getting off her nut on white lightening every weekend” to owning her own beauty salon and driving a flash car.

Trying hard to stress his point and showing no regard for the fact that these are REAL people he’s chosen to make example of, the 28-year-old then explained what happened to the “most intelligent people in his year”.

Gaz wrote: “The lad was a f*cking boffin, up there with Dexters Lab, he was probably w**king over Pythagoras’ theorem on the weekend he was so clever.”

“Well, this brainbox served me my popcorn at Cineworld last week.”

He finished by bragging: “I have 65 staff…From the dole to providing jobs to all them people paying their mortgages putting food on their tables…Sh*t, when I put it like that it sounds mad as f*ck, I sound sophisticated.”