‘Is that a magpie?’ 14 things you’ll know if you’re superstitious AF
Being superstitious is a full-time job.
And we're not talking about those supposedly superstitious people who will occasionally cross their fingers for good luck, but will then happily place new shoes on the table without so much as a thought for the repercussions.
Those people are not our people.
Our people are the lunatics who will break out in a sweat at the thought of taking seat 13 on a flight, walking under a ladder or opening an umbrella indoors.
And with Friday 13 mere hours away, we thought we'd highlight 14 things every superstitious person knows to be true.
1. You can NOT stir a cup of tea with anything other than a spoon.
"Get that damn knife away from my brew right now. I would rather keep the tea bag in there, frankly."
2. You can not post a letter without counting to ten before dropping it in the box.
"No, my hand isn't stuck. I'm just taking a moment for myself… and the good men and women who deliver our post safely."
3. You can not pass a lone magpie without saluting it.
"I don't care if those girls are laughing at me. They're the ones with no thought for their future fortune."
4. You'd rather walk into oncoming traffic than pass under a ladder.
"No, no don't get down. Stay where you are. I'm just gonna hop off this kerb, dodge this Nissan, hop back up and move on with my life."
5. You know it's vital you cross your fingers if a pole separates you and the person you're walking beside.
"Aaaand cross. Goodbye future catastrophe."
6. Seeing someone open an umbrella indoors makes your palms sweat as you question their blatant disregard for the universe's plan.
"Well, thanks for putting all our lives at risk."
7. You have thrown more salt all over your shoulder than you have ever included in any dish.
"Sorry, sorry! That did hit you?"
8. You have, at some points in your life, questioned whether your superstitions are a sign of something more sinister before deciding that nope, it's just good sense.
"I won't live my life as a maverick. Everyone else can just take their punishment."
9. You would do anything in your power to avoid sitting in seat 13 on any form of transport.
"I'll give you a fiver and this Kinder Bueno if you swap seats with me."
10. You associate certain items of clothing with good and bad luck.
"Yeah as if I'd wear that to an interview, I was stood up the last time I wore that coat. Jesus."
11. You know your friends outwardly indulge your superstitions, but secretly think you're wired to the moon.
"I appreciate their lies."
12. You know how exhausting it is to be on your guard, but you appreciate that you're able to safeguard against bad luck with just a few handy tips and tricks.
"I mean, I'm actually really on top of things over here."
13. You get irrationally annoyed by people who knock on their head instead of on wood.
"Bad luck is not a joke, sir."
14. You live in fear of cracking a mirror, and know a meltdown would ensue it if ever happened.
"Don't mind me, I'll just use the microwave screen. That dodgy-looking mirror isn't worth the risk."
