Oxegen huns, rejoice! 10 things that happened at every Oxegen ever

Uniquely Irish

Mar 10, 2019

Festival season is officially around the corner, and with all the chat about Longitude and Indiependence, we're getting a little nostalgic for the ghosts of festivals past.

Oxegen was one of the first music festival experiences many Irish folk had, and despite it's slightly scaldy reputation towards the end, the three-day rager will always have a special place in our hearts.

Here's why:

10. All….that….mud….

You could have made a clay pot for your granny with all the mud you had to sluice out of your clothes after the great Oxegen mud slide of 2011.

The mud-spattered masses never let the germ level and quicksand-like consistency of the mud deter them.

9. The amount of teenyboppers

Perhaps you hated them or perhaps you were even one of them.

You'd never get away with it now, but for some reason the collective age of quite a few people at the rager of a festival seemed to sometimes be on the wrong side of 18.

I think its hilarious all these young ones going on about the Oxegen line up – Your opinion is invalid to me if you're not even of age to go

— Hollie (@HollieFitzxo) April 23, 2013

8. Festival huns

As Oxegen was around in the time period when it was still socially acceptable to don a massive flower crown or a Native American headdress as the male equivalent, the sites were rife with them.

Your Oxegen wardrobe wasn't complete without the biggest garland of flowers you could find teamed with a pair of Penneys denim hot pants.

7. The microphone man

If there was one foolproof way to amuse yourself on the way into Oxegen it was to listen to the dulcet tones of the microphone man that blared out over the campsites.

For humorous musings mixed with safety information and instructions, he was your man.

I'm sad that I'm not going to Oxegen for one reason. The Oxegen Microphone Man on the way in!

— Andrew McGahon (@andrewmcgahon_) August 2, 2013

6. Baby wipes

The showering services at the festival left quite a lot to be desired, so making friends with your neighbour to nab a few baby wipes was the name of the game.

Used to clear the mud off your wellies and the sweat from your brow, venturing into the campsite without some wet wipes was a bit fat nope for anyone who cared abut personal hygiene.

5. Portaloo problems

Okay, this one isn't exclusive to Oxegen, but it happened a hell of a lot.

Some bunch of eejits would knock over half the Portaloos in the middle of the night hoping that some poor soul was trapped within. For their sake we hope there never was.

This is the first Oxegen I will miss in five years but I won't miss the portaloo's, the rain and the skangers. #oxegen

— Wesley Dolan (@WesleyDolan) July 8, 2011

4. The Dutch Gold vendors

Seeing as pints are exorbitantly priced inside any festival arena, there would always be a few lads tipping around Oxegen on the Sunday, trying to sell off their spare cans after being over-zealous in the alcohol department pre-festival.

Usually, the lukewarm and slightly muddy cans would be sold for the highly competitive rate of three for a tenner, and us drought-driven desperados would always commit to the purchase.

The smell of dutch gold, weed and disappointed parents is overpowering #Oxegen

— Tom MacNamara (@TJMac93) August 2, 2013

3. Tent flipping

Tent flipping was a national pastime at the Punchestown festival.

Fingers crossed your tent wasn't in the firing line for this annoying as f*** degenerate hobby.

2. Tent burning

A step up from tent flipping, this crime was ony executed by the biggest twats imaginable.

Sometimes they'd burn their own tents just for the fun of it. Arson isn't cool, kids.

1. Paying 10 quid for a hot chicken roll and a can of Coke

Extortion is the only word for the price of the food in the campsite shops.

After you battled through the masses to get to the shop, then queued for what felt like hours for your roll, only then to discover that the price of your roll is practically the same as your ticket into the entire festival.