Redefining healthy… one student charts her recovery from anorexia

There are tens of thousands of popular Instagram accounts which chart weight-loss.

The user's progress is documented in workout sessions, calories consumed, kilos shed, and dress-sizes – not to mention the requisite before-and-after shots.

However, one young woman has decided to do the opposite: Amalie Lee is instead charting her weight-gain.

A recovering anorexic, she is championing her new body shape through a series of gorgeous pictures that are now inspiring others.

The 20-year-old also shares snaps of her food intake: a refreshing selection of Nutella-covered crepes, jelly sweets, bars of chocolate and ice cream.

 A native of Norway, but studying at a university in London, Amalie says her struggles began in 2012.

“I went through a depressive phase in my mid-teens, and my perception of myself hit an all-time low," she says now.

"I just wanted to disappear. My eating disorder was never about looking like a model, it was a way to cope.

"I made bizarre rules for myself about what I allowed myself to eat, when, where — even what spoon to use."

Ms Lee says she resisted treatment initially, but gradually came to realise that, with her BMI dropping dangerously low, she could end up dead.

In 2013, she entered hospital as an out-patient and began rehibilitating.

"There wasn’t a magic moment where I had a recovery revelation, it was many small things at once that made me choose recovery," explains Amalie, who has chosen not to disclose her lowest or current weight, lest it act as a trigger to others.

 

2013 vs 2015. Anorexia did not just randomly "let me go", and vanished by itself. I let go of anorexia, and it was not easy. Stop waiting for a perfect future moment when you are ready to recover, because life is what passes by whilst you waste your time waiting. Start NOW. There is no perfect recovery, perfect meal plan, perfect weight gain. You have to eat, sometimes you feel like you are exploding, expanding into infinity and loosing control, but you are not. By allowing yourself to heal you are IN control. Eating a whole chocolate cake by yourself because your body is so goddamn desperate after all the restriction, is actually GOOD, both for body and mind. We live in a society that labels calories as something negative, but that is not right! Calories allow your heart to beat and your hair to grow. Without calories, there is no recovery or life. Calorie is a term for energy, everything around you is energy, calories are your bodies energy, just like electricity for a light bulb and battery for your phone✨ Sometimes, when it hurts, it means you are doing something right. I sincerely believe there is hope for every eating disorder sufferer. The brain ghosts (as @fightthepoop nicely names it) will haunt you at times after the recovery process is gone, but those thoughts are not dangerous unless you turn them into actions. The screaming ED voice will gradually give up when it sees that you don't obey, and it will eventually turn into occasional whispering. IT GETS BETTER #realcovery

A photo posted by REDEFINING HEALTHY (@amalielee) on May 10, 2015 at 12:33pm PDT

She only began her Instagram account, which she has named Redefining Healthy, less than three weeks ago, but has already gained more than 72,000 followers. 

"Luckily I got good treatment," she reflects now. "I learned a lot, both from my treatment personnel." 

Weight-wise, by the spring of 2014 she was declared fit and well, though she adds that "it takes longer to recover mentally".

Amalie also posts positive messages to her fans, and challenges the assumptions surrounding eating disorders.

"Most people with eating disorders are normal- to overweight," she highlighted in one recent post. "Most people with eating disorders don't have clinical anorexia nervosa.

"There is NO such thing as being 'too big' for an eating disorder. Not all underweight people have eating disorders or are unhealthy."

She concluded in the same post: "We need to stop labelling and judging, and start accepting that people come in different sizes, and that is OK."

 

Should you feel impacted by any of the issues included in this article, please contact BodyWhys, a voluntary organisation supporting people affected by eating disorders. BodyWhys runs a LoCall helpline on 1890 200 444, and also has an email support service via alex@bodywhys.ie. Check out the website here for furthermore information.