Being on planet earth for a quarter of a century is quite something, you know?
When you're any age, you think you know everything and that there's nothing more you could possibly learn.
It's naivety, and we are all afflicted by it at various points in our lives. But I've realised as the years tick by, that I feel I know less than I used to.
Maybe it's youthful arrogance that fades but whatever it is, I hit my 25th birthday and felt like I'd gotten more stupid.
Twenty-five is a funny age, it sounds more adult than 24 and it feels like you kinda have to start getting your shit together. You're young, sure, but you're not young.
So, with all that rambling done, I thought I'd impart some wisdom (that term should be used loosely) that I've gathered in my 25 years and hope that it helps some of you.
1. Not everyone is going to like you and that's tough
It's horrible the first time you cop that someone isn't your biggest fan…and you've done f*ck all to make it so.
While it stings, the reality is – if someone knows the real you and doesn't wanna be best mates, it's their loss and definitely not yours.
2. Friendship takes work
Like, hard work.
The first few months and even years might be plain sailing, but it always hits a road bump.
Because that's life. If you give up after a bad row, you didn't deserve the friendship. People are flawed and things aren't always rosy but if your friend is someone you want to keep in your life, don't risk losing them. Dig deep and sort it out.
3. Your mother is (almost) always right
This isn't an easy one to admit but I've learned that it's true.
Listen to her when she gives unasked-for advice about relationships/jobs/health/friends. Just don't tell her you are.
4. Pretending to know something is a waste of time
''You know in The Jungle Book when…'' I've never seen it. There, I said it.
Own up to not knowing things. It doesn't make you look stupid, just genuine.
5. People's behaviour is rarely to do with you
Your boss a bit off today? Is your best friend being cold in her messages?
Newsflash: the world doesn't revolve around you.
They're more than likely have a shitty day and it has nothing to do with you.
Or else, assume it hasn't until they tell you otherwise.
6. Try to do things without wanting something in return.
Want to end your bf/gf a sweet message? Do it.
But don't do it because you want a sweet message back, do it because you want THEM to get a sweet message.
7. People act certain ways for reasons
I used to be – and still am, working on it – massively judgemental.
If a friend didn't want to go out, I'd be like ''For feck sake, how boring are they?'' but sometimes people do things for their own personal reasons that are none of my business and I have to keep that in mind.
8. Pee after sex…seriously
UTIs are no joke.
9. If you love someone, tell 'em
Sounds like a no-brainer but if you feel it, say it.
10. You can't force someone to love you…and you can't force someone to be someone they're not
It's sad but true.
If you're trying to make someone love you or fancy you, they aren't for you.
11. Wear the mini-skirt
You only get this banging body in your 20s so show it off – also show it off at whatever age you want but definitely now.
12. Wear your retainer
Braces are cute once…not twice.
13. Heartbreak is one of the greatest things that can happen to you
It sounds ironic but it's true.
It's the most disgusting thing to have to go through but there's something that being so vulnerable does to you…it opens you up in a totally cool way.
It makes you talk to random people, it makes you look at yourself – really look at all the ugly bits that you'd rather not and want to do something about them.
It teaches you humility and shows you how strong the bond of love is..it's fascinating.
There's that quote about learning more when you're miserable opposed to when you're happy and it's kind of true. Embrace heartbreak, I say.
14. MIND YOUR SKIN
It'll thank you later for giving it water and cleansing it after a night of booze.
15. Jealousy is silly
It doesn't do anyone any favours.
Trust people until they give you a reason not to…it's something I really have to work on.
16. Get help if things are shite
Things get too much, talk to a professional. It's harder to book that first session with a counsellor than you might think but it is so worth it.
Life is tough enough- help yourself when you can.
17. Like yourself because you spend an awful lot of time with yourself
It does what it says on the tin.
18. Try new things, things that scare you – hiking, food, movies, music
I'm kind of prejudice against certain foods or movies (Westerns, anyone?) but giving something different a go once in a while broadens the mind.
And it means you always have something to talk about.
19. People you love will hurt you
Sometimes it's deliberate, something not. It's because they're human.
Forgiveness is a wonderful thing – it frees you.
20. Spend time with family – they won't always be there
Visit your grandma for a cup of tea and ask her about her life in the 1960s.
Ring your aunt and have a gossip.
Have a pamper night with your sister or cousin – they're ready-made mates that you're so lucky to have.
21. Doing things alone is fun
Sitting in a cinema alone is THE BEST.
Have dinner alone and don't give a f*ck what anyone thinks – they're probably in awe of you and jel that they're not doing it.
You don't always have to surround yourself with people – be good with being by yourself.
22. Trust your gut
We tend to ignore when the tiny voice in our heads warns up against something, or something just feels off in a relationship or job.
Your intuition will serve you so well – if only you tune into it.
23. You're not a nice person, sometimes
This is a tough one.
You are flawed. At times you're selfish, mean, hurtful and rude.
You might not mean it or realise it but we are all selfish at times.
Try to be aware when family members tell you about your weak points.
24. Eat the local cuisine
I went to Budapest and had a safe meal – and kicked myself afterwards.
When in Rome, as they say – always try local food and drink because that's what will enrich your life and you never know, you could stumble upon your new fave dish.
25. Kiss – a lot
It's free, burns calories and it's FUN.
You'll be 90-years-old one day so you might as well kiss as many rides while you can.