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being single

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If you’re sick of seeing loved-up couples this Christmas and think being single at this time of year totally sucks, just remember, the pair that just passed you have probably put that day’s festive-based argument on pause to keep up appearances for the public.

That 'perfect' couple have most likely had more than one argument over whose family they should spend Christmas with, whose group of friends they’ll go out with over New Years and who forgot that Christmas Eve was meant to be Christmas movie night and organised a night on the beer instead.

Here are just five reasons why being single at Christmas is a major win

1. You don’t have to worry about hiding your hungover face in front of the in-laws.

"No, I’m fine. I always look this green and clammy."

2. You don’t have to spend hours traipsing through ‘boy’ shops looking for an Xbox game you’re certain you got him for this birthday.

"What’s Fortnite? Actually, I don't care. Just give it to me."

3. You save a LOT of money not having to shell out for generic gift sets for his side of the family.

"Lavender talc? That’ll do his nana…again."

4. You don’t have to sit through charades with your boyfriend’s uncle who constantly calls you by his ex-girlfriend’s name.

"No, don’t worry! Laura…Áine… sorry, they’re really similar."

5. You don’t have to prime your family on all the ‘Not To Be Discussed’ topics before he calls around.

"No, you can’t laugh at what happened in Ayia Napa. He doesn’t even know you know."

Seriously, is that stress-fest worth it just for a New Year's Eve kiss?

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Getting into a successful relationship is something that most people truly long for.

However, not everyone is in a place in their lives right now where a relationship is something that's feasible for them.

Whether it's a high-demand job, a lack of interest, or just the fact that they haven't met the right person yet, not having a romantic relationship can sometimes be seen as a bit of a failure.

There are stereotypes enforced on single women, who are called crazy cat ladies and spinsters, doomed to reside in a state of perpetual singledom forever. 

It can be especially tough when your family consistently reminds you that if you want to get married in your early thirties, you better get cracking on securing yourself a fine suitor with a sense of urgency. 

There can be quite a bit of pressure to find the man or woman of your dreams, and this pressure definitely needs to chill for a second, because really, it's completely unnecessary.

While there are a million amazing reasons to get into a relationship, there are so many perks to being single.

We've picked out a few of our favourites:

10. You can get emotionally invested in TV relationships

Did anyone else cry when Hanna and Caleb split in Pretty Little Liars? Or when Susan and Mike were forced to call it quits in Desperate Housewives?

We can live vicariously through out TV peers without having the actual drama of a dysfunctional relationship. Win-win. 

Image result for the hills break up

9. There is no one to mess up your Netflix preferences.

Speaking of TV dramas, our Netflix accounts are a perfectly honed medley of all of our favourite TV shows and documentaries, with the ideal suggestions in every second stream.

If we had to spend Netflix and chill nights with someone who doesn't share our exact TV tastes, we'd be very upset. 

8. Your bed is your sanctuary, and yours alone.

Some of us are just emotionally attached to our leabas, and having it all to ourselves is a blessing.

Cuddles are top notch, but if we had to put up with someone kicking, stealing the blanket or even snoring in our beds every night we'd lose our s***.

Image result for kim k bed

7. More on the bed thing…

You can go to bed and wake up any time you want to, without worrying about accidentally waking someone up.

Or worse, being woken up by someone else, which would be completely unacceptable.

6. You invest time in building other meaningful relationships

Your best friends are your soul mates and you like it that way.

Sometimes, a romantic relationship can be all-consuming, and on rare occasions people can grow distant from their friends because of it, but when you're single then every night is girl's night. 

5. And when those friends are also single?

Having a best friend who is also single is pretty epic, it's like having a partner in crime for navigating the dating world.

And the nights out are unbeatable!

Image result for the hills break up

4. You can avoid the drama of a relationship.

Life is full of enough drama without having to deal with jealousy arguments, splitting bills or in-laws.

Breaking up and making up is simply too messy for us to handle right now. 

Image result for drama drama drama

3. You get to eat all the food.

You know when the box says four servings, but your heart says one?

Well there is no one around to judge you for this, or worse, insist that you share that family-sized lasagne. 

2. You get to be selfish, and that's okay.

Sometimes you just have to focus on your own feelings.

Couples choose to be permanently respectful and considerate of the other's feelings, but when you're alone, you can make the best decisions to suit you without having to consider or notify anyone else. 

Image result for me myself and i

1. You realise that you can be happy on your own.

One of the most important things to realise in life is your own worth, and being single is one of the best ways to truly become comfortable in yourself.

Learning about who you really are can happen single or attached, but singlehood definitely gives you more time to reflect on yourself. 

Image result for no boyfriend no problem

So, no relationship? No problem. 

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“So how’s the love life?”

That awful question, usually asked by some well-meaning aunt at a family event. Oh, it’s not that we MIND answering. It’s just that she’s the fifth person to have asked this evening.

Being single in your twenties can make you feel like you’re constantly having to prove yourself to others. Yes, I’m single. Yes, I’m happy. No, I haven’t met the right person yet. Yes, I’m fine with that. Even though Irish couples are now getting married far later – the average age of an Irish bride is now 32, and for grooms it’s 34 – there’s still that unspoken expectation that we should be thinking of settling down by now.

What we need to realise though, is that our twenties are a time when we should be embracing our lack of ties. These years are the ones we should be using to make whatever decisions we want – bad or good. If you’re single with no significant other to consider – that’s a good thing, not a stumbling block. Our twenties are the years that we should be figuring ourselves out, and there’s no better way to do that than by being by ourselves.

It was once believed that our brain was fully developed by our early twenties and that by 21 we were fully-fledged adults. Research published by the Wall Street Journal however shows that our brain development is still unfinished during early adult years.

The period between 18 – 29 is now being termed our “emerging adulthood” – the transitional time when we are still moving from one stage of life to the next. So, if you’ve ever thought “Is THIS adulthood?” you can calm down a little because you’re not quite there yet.

Relationships can be tricky, especially in your twenties. One thing that any single twenty-something needs to accept is the sorry truth that you will fall for at least one guy that is totally, utterly wrong for you. In fact, it probably won’t just be one. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Having your heart broken mightn’t seem like a barrel of laughs at the time but if you come out the other end realising that you’ll never settle for less than what you deserve, well, that’s a pretty solid life lesson.

Being single – whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship or whether you’ve never really had one – can sometimes feel a bit lonely. Other friends or colleagues seem to have their act together, why can’t you? But being single should never be about feeling alone or unwanted – you have your independence, you can make decisions that benefit you and only you, and you know what it is to love yourself for exactly who you are. That’s powerful stuff.

Make the most of your twenties, whatever your relationship status. Our generation has been given a get out of jail free card for this decade – unlike our parents and grandparents, settling down in our twenties is just one option out of many. Don’t force things – just roll with the punches and enjoy the process!

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