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Christmas

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What is it about Christmas and relationships? You and your significant other can sail merrily through the rest of the year completely unaware of other people’s impression of the two of you, but come the festive season it’s like everyone in your life suffers from verbal diarrhoea and just can’t wait to share their thoughts on your relationship.

If you’re not being grilled by nosy aunts and uncles at the annual turkey sandwich buffet, you find yourself interrogated by friends who've enjoyed few too many festive vodkas.

Here are just some issues you and him face before the first bauble is even hung from the tree.

1. Your mother panics that you might dessert the family on the big day and have dinner with his parents.

You’re forced to talk her down off the ledge and admit that you haven’t been invited to his place on Christmas Day, something that didn’t bother you… until now.

2. His mother panics that she should have invited you to join them for the family dinner, Stephen's Day charades and the New Year's family trip.

He's forced to talk her down off the ledge. Sure, we only have five chairs. She’d have to sit on dad’s step ladder and…she does have her own family.

3. Your father panics when it looks like your boyfriend will be staying the night at some point over the holidays.

I don’t care what you get up to outside of this house, but that young lad will be plenty comfortable on the couch tonight.

4. You panic when people keep checking your ring finger on Stephen’s Day and then look unnecessarily sympathetic when they hear you got a juicer and not a sparkler.

What! The only ring I want right now is the chocolate covered biscuit one from that goddamn tin.

5. He panics when he realises that New Year’s proposals are apparently even more anticipated than Christmas Day proposals.

What! She wants a ring doughnut more than she wants a ring from me at the moment, I swear to God.

Roll on January when we can all get back to normal, right?!

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We'd never say no to a cosy Christmas sweater, but it is possible to take things too far.

Fairy lights? Yes. Giant 3D Ruploph head protruding from the front of the jumper? Eh… no.

Here are a few of the worse ones we've come across this year…

1. This jumper that was clearly not meant for a grown man
Nice treasure trail!

2. This "sweater-dress"
That's a lot of green felt…

3. This bath mat/festive tunic
There's something about wearing towelling in public that just screams "disaster".

4. These highly impractical candy canes
Imagine the five of them trying to fit in the car together…

5. This springy contraption
Bouncing Santa boobs? Oh, lovely.

6. This unfortunate sweater vest
Why, oh why the polo neck insert?

7. This rude slogan
I don't like your attitude, young lady.

8. This strip club wonderland jumper
Santa loves the ladies.

9. This festive cape
Nothing says "Christmas" like a poncho, amirite?

 

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Are you still struggling to come up with a present to give your other half on Christmas Day?

If Valentine’s Day, your anniversary and his birthday have stolen all your best ideas so far this year and you’re just fresh out, then fear not; we may just have the perfect set of guideline for you to follow!

Why not let his star sign be the determining factor in what you choose to leave under his tree this year!

Aries: March 21st- April 20th

Considered active, outgoing and adventurous, this fire sign is unlikely to thank you for a practical or traditional gift. Play to their adventurous spirit and gift them with an experience instead of an object!

Opt for tickets to a music or sporting event or alternatively book a weekend away and gift him with fantastic memories.

Aquarius: January 21st- February 19th

Considered creative, independent and inventive, this air sign certainly won’t thank you for a generic gift set or bumper box of novelty socks. Make sure to acknowledge his unique taste and creative side by gifting him with something that honours this side of him.

Opt for quirky gifts that stimulate the mind like a piece of art or the latest must-have gadget.

Cancer: June 23rd- July 23rd

Considered loyal, nurturing and sensitive, this water sign will appreciate any gift that acknowledges their love of home, family and friends.

Opt for something he can display in his place like a framed photograph of his favourite band or a big collage of a trip away with friends.

Capricorn: December 22nd- January 20th
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Considered ambitious, determined and intellectual, this earth sign won’t see the point of a generic Christmas present. Acknowledge his interests and pursuits by choosing something specifically related to these hobbies.

Opt for something like lessons in an activity he expressed interest in or add to his collection of records, books or retro games.

Gemini: May 22nd- June 22nd

Considered outgoing, witty and creative, this air sign will have little interest in a coffee table book. Instead play to their outgoing and creative side and choose a gift that reflects these qualities.

Opt for a surprise weekend away or honour a past trip away with mementos, photos and souvenirs in a scrapbook or photo album.

Leo: July 24th- August 23rd

Considered confident, ambitious and generous, this fire sign definitely appreciates the finer things in life and won’t be happy with a gift that looks like it could be for any old person!

Opt for luxurious pampering products or a top of the line winter accessory!

Libra: September 24th- October 23rd

Considered romantic, charming and diplomatic, this air sign is the type of person that would appreciate a very simple, but very stylish gift.

Opt for a leather wallet or classic v neck sweater or alternatively, play to his romantic side and organise an elegant dinner for two in his favourite restaurant.

Pisces: February 20th- March 20th
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Considered sensitive, passionate and imaginative, this water sign will appreciate anything that plays to these traits.

Opt for professional photos of their favourite place or alternatively gift him with a camera so he can let his passionate and imaginative side run free!

Sagittarius: November 23rd- Decemeber 21st

Considered adventurous and philosophical, this fire sign will see little point in receiving a gift he can’t do anything with, so acknowledge this in your choice of present.

Opt for lessons in an outdoor sport or organise a camping trip where he can nourish both his adventurous spirit and enjoy quiet time in the great outdoors.

Scorpio: October 24th- November 22nd

Considered mysterious, passionate and loyal, this water sign will appreciate any gift that plays to these qualities.

Opt for a set of classic mystery books or instead go for the latest thriller box set. Why not go one step further and organise a treasure hunt for him to find his gifts?

Taurus: April 21st -May 21st

Considered dependable, patient and practical, this earth sign may not appreciate a trip in a hot air balloon or an adventure weekend.

Opt instead for items that you know he was coveting throughout the year, but didn’t feel he could splurge on like a really stylish messenger bag or leather bound day planner.

Virgo: August 24th – Sept 23rd

Considered reliable, analytical and observant, this earth sign will appreciate practical or functional gifts.

Opt for a stylish watch or a book about a certain culture or country he’s expressed interest in. 

Now girls, if you're still stuck after all that, then just go for a Selection Box and hope for the best!

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Would you like to help raise €20,000 for the National Children’s Hospital by posting one simple tweet?

SPAR has unveiled a Twitter Christmas Tree, which will be ‘powered’ by tweets using the #underthetree hashtag this festive season.

Each #underthetree tweet will light one of the tree’s 1,600 bulbs; once the tree has been completely lit, SPAR will make its generous donation to the National Children’s Hospital, Tallaght.

The festive initiative marks the launch of the retailer’s official charity partnership with the National Children’s Hospital. SPAR is aiming to raise €200,000 through further campaigns to cover essential facility upgrades and provide important equipment that the hospital badly needs.

SPAR’s Twitter Tree will be on display above SPAR Ranelagh from the 4th to 30th of December and is supported by Leinster Rugby’s Mike McCarthy.

If you can’t pop down to see it in person, you can also watch your tweets light up the giant Twitter tree here through a live camera feed which updates every minute.

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While we all LOVE Christmas movies, from A Wonderful Life to The Santa Clause and Love Actually, there have also been some travesties…

1. Fred Claus
We wanted to like this, but it proved to be impossible. 

2. Jingle All The Way
Not some of Arnie's finest work. 

3. Black Christmas
A scary Christmas movie…why?! There's college girls in it, obviously

4. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Yes, this is an actual movie.

5. Four Christmases
Another terrible Christmas movie from Vince Vaughan…

6. Santa With Muscles
Hulk Hogan's finest work.

7. Deck The Halls
This one had a promising cast. But no. 

8. The Family Stone
The weirdest ending to a movie, ever. And so much hate – where's the Christmas cheer, Diane Keaton?

9. Surviving Christmas
Before he was Batman, Ben Affleck starred in this questionable movie.

10. Home Alone 3
Why would they ruin such a good thing like that? 

 

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Remember when Christmas was magical?

I don’t just mean selection boxes and putting up the tree, I mean nervously looking at the sky and SWEARING you just saw Santa’s sleigh. I mean giddily checking if the Man in Red had eaten the biscuits you’d left him and if Rudolph had taken a bite out of the carrot. I mean delightedly showing your parents the presents you’d gotten, because of course how would they know otherwise?

As we grow older, it becomes more of a chore to keep Christmas magical, especially if you don’t have any younger kids in your house. For most of us, December is a hugely stressful time at work or college and it becomes difficult to really get in the spirit of things until we’re finally home by the tree with a glass of mulled wine in hand.

We struggle our way through the crowds in town, getting pelted by wind/snow/lashing rain, as we rush to get last minute pressies for everyone. Will mum really like this assortment of tea towels? Yes, well, she’ll just have to won’t she.

Of course as we have more responsibility in our lives, Christmas is going to be that little bit more tiring and overwhelming. But let’s not forget what the season is all about. Sadly it might be a little too late for us to start believing in Santa again, but we can find magic in so many other ways.

Make an effort to approach things more calmly this year. Make a few arrangements with close friends rather than trying to fit everyone in for drinks and dinner in the space of three days. Get baking and crafting rather than blazing a trail through HMV buying box sets for everyone. Enjoy the Christmas music on the radio and the buzz building around the place.

If you’ve ever been away from home at Christmas you’ll know just how homesick you can get for cold weather, packed pubs and silly Secret Santa gifts. All of the little things that we tend to take for granted at this time of year are the exact things you’d miss in a heartbeat if you weren’t here.

So rather than getting all grumbly and stressed this year, take things in your stride and appreciate every little bit. Whether you’ve been celebrating for the last few weeks with nights out or whether you won’t really feel it’s Christmas until you’re on the way home on December 24th, soak it all in this year.

If you are lucky enough to have young siblings, nieces or nephews or kids of your own, take in the magic through their eyes. Get excited about Santa’s arrival. Put on your cosy PJs and drink hot chocolate with them on Christmas Eve instead of heading to the local to meet school friends you haven’t thought about in 10 years. Watch the corniest Christmas movie in your collection and jump up and down if it snows instead of worrying about how you’re going to drive in that weather.

Christmas is still full of magic, we just need to know where to find it!

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Thanks to Micky Flanagan, we all know the difference between going ‘out’ and going ‘out-out’, right?

Those evenings that you intend to stay in with a plate of andwiches, but find yourself dragged to the local ‘for one’ before eventually winding up on the dance floor of your local disco in a state of utter confusion has nothing on the Christmas version of this saga.

Agreeing to go for ‘a few down the local’ any time between the 20th of December and the 3rd of January is a clear indication you are MORE than happy to sing Fairytale of New York on a pub table or shift the bloke from the town chipper in full view of his entire GAA team.

We ALL know what a few down the local means at Christmas, but we plead ignorance and then pretend to act confused the next morning when we wake up with a phone number scrawled on a batter burger wrapper.

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without these nights of local mayhem, and secretly we love it.

Here’s what happens when you fall into the trap of ‘going local’ at Christmas.

1. You meet girls you never liked from school, but who you MUST catch up with in the new year.

Yeah, right.

2. You remember why you used get so drunk when you first started going out; accurate measurements are more a 'guesstimation' than anything around here.

Does this taste like a single to you? Your man’s after given me a triple…again.

3. You fall into conversation with the school stud and embarrassingly still get butterflies.

I know I’m engaged, but he actually laughed at my joke, girls.

4. You take forty minutes to get from your table to the bar because you’re accosted by a friend of the family with every step.

Ah, she’s grand. She’s at home with the dog and a tin of Roses.

5. You pretend you don't want to hit the disco before staggering to the toilets to drunkenly re-do your make up.

Will they be cool about my Converse, Christmas jumper, pyjama pants and drunk head? Obviously.

6. After staggering from the disco, you set up camp in the local chipper until you're forcibly removed.

Wait! I wanted FOUR batter burgers. Four!

7. Someone yells 'gaf party!' and one lad's poor, unsuspecting parents are treated to the entire town's rendition of Do They Know It's Christmas? in the conservatory at 5am.

C'mere and join in, Eileen sure! There's Martin! C'mere, you!

8. The party is broken up when someone tries to get the dog drunk and someone else pukes under the Christmas tree.

Fun is fun, but that tree is Eileen's pride and joy, for Jaysus sake.

God, we love it!

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Christmas can be an amazing time of year – lots of cosy snuggles, warm fires, pretty lights and presents. However, it also means a LOT of time spent at home and around our local area. Sometimes fun – sometimes hellish. 

Here are the faces we will probably need to perfect to get through the rough moments this Christmas:

1. The ‘Oh my God, I LOVE it’ face

2. The ‘Mmm, this tastes SO good, how did you make it?’ face

3. The ‘trying hard to stay awake in mass’ face

4. The ‘I’m so wasted and trying not to show it’ face

5. The ‘I’d love to teach you how to Skype your sister on your new iPad, mom’ face

6. The ‘no way, I did NOT eat the last mince pie’ face

7. The 'Oh, it is just so good to see you, you look great' face

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Niamh Geaney popped into Debenhams to chat to perfume savvy Emma Cunningham on her top 5 fragrances for Christmas, most for us ladies and one universal fragrance that would suit any man. Our Christmas wish list is getting even longer!

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On Wired, your Snapshot host Niamh Geaney sits down with two of Ireland’s biggest TV fanatics Conor Behan and Ciara O’Doherty to suss out what’s really worth watching this week, what the hell is going on with the X Factor, the battle of the Toy Show’s while also delving into the life of the upper classes!

Oh it’s getting so close to Christmas but for you bah-humbugs out there we’ve picked the best Christmas markets and festivities available to you now nationwide to get you into the festive spirit, all on this week’s The Line-Up!

On Pic ’n’ Mix we show you what’s hot and what’s not in the box office ensuring you see a killer flick. How good is Interstellar? How well is The new Hunger Games performing and has the Imitation Game lived up to the hype? 

And finally on Spotlight, Niamh sits down with chart toppers Sheppard to chat The Ellen Show, Scooter Braun, what they make of the Irish and cracking the US.

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Expectation: I am going to make a list of everything I need in October, and buy it all by the end of November

Reality: I will run around the local shopping centre at 8pm on Christmas Eve frantically searching for anything that could be considered a gift. You swiftly discover that everybody does this. 

Expectation: I will put aside money every week from April onwards to ensure I have a nice budget for my Christmas shopping.

Reality: Baked goods, anyone?

Expectation: I am so mature now, I do not need my parents to get me a gift. I will give THEM lots of gifts.

Reality: HOW could they have gotten me the wrong perfume?! Fools! *sob*

Expectation: I am going to decorate my apartment beautifully for Christmas, with a tree and fairy lights and even wrapped presents.

Reality: I will drape tinsel over the TV and it will stay there all year round.

Expectation: I won’t go crazy on the Christmas food this year, I will be sensible and not need to lose a stone when January arrives.

Reality: Oh, the box of Roses are gone already? It wasn’t me…I swear.

Expectation: I will bake the grandest Christmas pudding you ever did see and I shall light it on fire like they do in the adverts.

Reality: The fire alarm goes off and your family are forced to eat your black, burnt mess while watching the Downton Abbey Christmas Special.

Expectation: I will have one little glass of Bailey’s at the local on Christmas Eve before going home to my family.

Reality: I will fall in the door at 4am and interrupt Santa putting out the presents. Oh, don’t mind me…

 

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Niamh Geaney chats to lead man of Dublin’s Hunting the Brave, John Sadlier about his debut single, Dare to Dream (This Christmas). All proceeds from the sale of this great Christmas tune is going to Age Action, to make the festive season a little better for the country’s older people.

Dare to Dream (This Christmas) is available to download now on iTunes.

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