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Many people are quick to say that it's best to be single during college – but just because you're not doesn't mean you will have any less awesome of a time! Here are some benefits to having an other half while in college:

 1. Sex

Oh come on, it was always going to be number one. 
2. No Heating? No Problem

If that boiler breaks down for the 100th time this month just throw on some warm clothes and snuggle up to your other half. Heating is overrated. 

3. Guaranteed presents

Who doesn't love a good birthday/Christmas/Valentine's present? And nobody is under as much pressure to do good by you as a boyfriend. 

4. To Go Out, Or Not To Go Out? That Is The Question

We love a good night out, but at least if we opt out we can still have a nice cosy night in. How bad. 

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There is no two ways about it – this is disgusting. 

A young man, presumably a student, was taking part in the Iron Stomach today when he decided he was out and attempted to walk off stage. 

Unfortunately for the poor lad, he tumbled into the spit pit (at least that's what it looks like) and has to be helped out. 

Don't watch this eating lunch. 

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So you're into your first few weeks of college and it's not everything you imagined it would be. Here are the biggest mistakes college freshers make:

1. Thinking you will be in love with your course
While some may love their course, many are faced with the reality that it just isn't what they thought it would be. It's important to deal with this as soon as you realise so you can work it out and do something you actually love. Four years is a long time. 

2.Thinking we’ll pass the year by doing zero work
Rookie mistake – you will fail. Hard. 

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3. Late night cramming
Early to bed early to rise is much healthier and productive than studying until 5am. 

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4. Shifting someone in your class
You spotted him in the first week of lectures fell madly in love, shifted him on the class night out and haven’t been able to face him since. Worse still everyone in your class will never let you forget it and make sure to bring it up as often as they can…oh the shame!

5. Joining 50 clubs and societies and attending none of them
Everything seemed so good so interesting. And the classic ‘it’s the best way to make friends’ was being thrown around like it was going out of fashion. So you joined everything from the tennis team to the tea society and haven’t attended one event.

6. Becoming a full time party animal
So you’re finally free and your weekly social life is a lot more exciting than your weekend one. Constantly receiving invites to events on Facebook it can be hard to decide which one to go to, so your solution? GO TO THEM ALL.

7. Thinking your life will revolve around Starbucks
Such a cliche girly expectation that a lot of us are guilty of. Think you’ll constantly have a caramel cream frappuccino during your lectures? Think again – those are damn expensive… You can have an americano with a shot of caramel on Fridays if you like though. 

 

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Remember a few months ago when you finally made the decision to ditch the boys and get a nice, clean house? A house where you could do your dissertation in peace, where the floorboards would be free of mousetraps, the bathrooms free of, well, plenty of things we don’t want to discuss?

The time has come and it’s going to be great. But all-girl houses have their own clichés too you know – give it a couple of weeks and we defy you not to tick off each and every one of these…

1. You constantly talk about baking but come home with supermarket cookies

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2. Ditto doing your own version of Come Dine With Me, while continuing to microwave cottage cheese

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3. Though your single housemate somehow finds time to cook a three course meal when their date/your hot cousin comes to stay

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4. Every available surface is covered in drying underwear of the animal print/brightly-coloured Primark variety

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(You save the good silk stuff for the radiator in your room).

5. Dream: Getting ready for nights out together, doing each other’s hair

Reality: Running off to separate rooms to fake tan and make up, then hollering up the stairs to discuss outfits

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6. And that’s on a good day – usually it’s a full selfie/Whatsapp discussion to check they’re not wearing a similar dress before you can leave the room

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7. Seminal housemate questions are not about bills. More like: ‘Are you wearing heels tonight?’ and the age-old, ‘are you going to bother with tights?’

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8. You will wake up one morning to find a random guy eating (your) food in your kitchen wearing one sock, probably more than once. You’ll learn to go about your day as normal. He won't look like this:

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9. At some point, your housemate’s boyfriend will move in. This will never be discussed. Quiet resentment for him, his muddy football boots and food-scavenging friends ensues

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10. Reality shows reign supreme, regardless of how highbrow your degree subject is

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11. Birthdays are taken pretty seriously

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12. As is fancy dress

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13. At some point, washing day will clash. This is what hell looks like

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14. At least you’ll think that’s what hell looks like, until the plug gets clogged with hair that’s DEFINITELY not yours

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15. Your clothes and shoes routinely go missing

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16. At which point you’ll curse yourself for not living with guys

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17. But then someone comes home with your favourite chocolate bar and does the hoovering so all is forgiven

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18. There’ll be one girl who’s so busy they may as well not live there

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19. And one hermit who only leaves the house for bread and cigarettes

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20. You’ll attempt to be the housemate who lies somewhere in between

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21. There is no escaping the drama

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22. All will agree to keep the place spotless. All will forget this rule when hungry, tired, busy, dating someone, going home for the weekend or during exams

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23. But group cleaning sessions with the Spice Girls blaring make the grime build-up worth it

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24. Post night-out feasts are beyond epic

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25. At some point, you will hate your housemate and/or your housemate will hate you. You will continue to pretend you are friends

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26. Someone’s hot school friends will come to stay for the weekend. Your house will be taken over by guy friends you haven’t seen in weeks

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27. And when they invite you over to theirs, you feel so grateful to live with girls you could cry

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28. Because it might be catty, but there are no actual RATS. And someone will always want to cuddle and watch Friends

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29. And you’ve got wine, crisps and dip at home. There’s always wine, crisps and dip…

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We all have different expectations about going to college and to be honest, most of them are completely off the mark. Once you get there you realise that things are little different than you thought, in a good and bad way. It’s a bit more laid back than you thought, which is a double edged sword because there is less pressure, but all the responsibility is on you. Here are the top things that people say before their first year in college.

1. “It will be such a doss”
It’s true that you will have a lot more freedom in college, but at the end of the day you still have to the do the work. No one is going to put pressure on you and it’s all on you whether you bother or not, otherwise you will be looking a lot of repeats.

2. “I’ll go to all of my lectures”
You have this grand agenda that you won’t miss a lecture and you’ll be sorted for your exams. This lasts for about two weeks and then you soon realise that sleep becomes more important to you than your lectures. By now you have realised that most lecturers post slides online, which gives you one more excuse not to go in.

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3. “I’m going to join loads of societies”
During Freshers week you sign up for all the different societies because you get lots of free stuff. Then you tell yourself you will go to all the events that they organise… highly unlikely. Life gets in the way and you only really go based on whether or not they have free food and booze.

4. “I will be going out every night”
The people that go out every night will be the ones who either will be doing repeats or will eventually just drop out. You actually need to go into college sometimes. Showing up twenty minutes late and hungover for every lecture isn’t a good routine to get into.

5. "I work so I will have loads of money for partying”
If you’re living on campus, you will soon be wondering where all your money has gone. It is quite a costly expense to live on campus and with the little money you have left you will be scrounging for the cheapest beer you can find.

6. “I will go to the gym every day”
While it might sound like a great idea in practice, you go once and then you don’t see the gym for the rest of the year. It wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway because of how bad your diet is.

7. "Gourmet meals from here on in”
So you have learned a few meals that you can cook when you get to college. It’s a different scenario altogether though when you actually get there and you realise you don’t really have the time or the money to be making cuisine quality meals. The closest thing you get to a gourmet meal is Dominos Pizza.

8. "I’m going to get my assignments done early, so I’ll have more free time”
The harsh truth is that an assignment deadline just means how long more you have to procrastinate. You start off handing them in on time and it gradually turns into you giving it in two weeks later  and then finally asking  for an extension a month after it’s due.

9. "I’ll wear all my new clothes I got for college”
At the start you try to put a bit of effort into how you dress, you never know, you might catch someone’s eye in class. Over time you just throw on whatever clothes are on the floor and if you could you would wear your pyjamas to class.

10. "It’s going to be great having a new roommate”
No matter how much you love your roommate, over time the stuff they do will get on your nerves. It’s the little things like letting the sink pile up and leaving you to take out the rubbish all the time. Be prepared to secretly hate your roommate by Christmas.

11. "I will have to buy new books for all my classes”
You will soon realise that buying new books is a waste of money and when you lectures say you “need” to buy the book, it means you can get by without it. If you need to get any books you should just rent  them from the library and save your money.

12. "I will finally find someone who gets me”
If you’re going to college and looking for love you’re in the wrong place . Sure, you might hook up,  which will definitely happen a lot in college, but it’s not really the place for long term relationships. You might even have the same interests as them, but you will soon realise that there is more much to a relationship then having things in common.

13. "I’ll start studying a month before exams”
Ha well isn’t that interesting, you’ll be lucky if you get in some study a week before your exams. With assignments still left to do and lots and lots of procrastination, studying for exams becomes less and less likely the longer time passes by. Then, when you finally do decide to study the night before, you actually don’t understand anything.

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A new semester is almost upon us, a fresh beginning, a new start. A chance to right your wrongs, put to bed those past study regrets that you may be harbouring, the time to draw on a clean slate.

Every single semester students up and down the country lie to both themselves and everyone around them by promising themselves things they won't do.

Happy procrastinating!

1. “I’m going to be so focused and organised this semester.”

This is probably the strongest lie that we try and tell ourselves. We try and scare our inner thoughts into believing that this is our one last chance to cop on and knuckle down, that a refill pad filled with notes from the seven different classes that we’re taking is a perfectly acceptable, organised system. Well it’s not. But that’s not going to stop you now, is it?

2. “I’m going to study at least thrice as much as last year.”

If by study you mean procrastinating, then yes, you will ‘study’ three times more than you did last year. Cleaning, Netflix and Facebook creeping will be all on the rise. Good intentions still count, right?

3. “I’m going to go out far less.”

Of course you are. Until Thursday, when you somehow end up sitting in someone’s dingy house with a six pack of Dutch Gold in hand. Seeing as you’re in college, hitting the town twice a week (minimum) is inevitable, so stop lying to your inner socialite and get your finest dancing shoes on immediately.

4. “I’m going to be super healthy this time around.”

Yes, you may believe that running, quinoa and lettuce will form a major part of your life now that you’ve promised yourself glowing health, but be honest, after a rough night on the beer nothing spells hangover cure better than a salad right? WRONG. So wrong. Chinese and the couch anyone?

5. “I’ll have so many golden weeks, they’ll probably give me an award.”

Correction, you’ll have so many absences, they’ll probably give you an award. Golden weeks are the stuff of legend, the pinnacle of a successful, dedicated student. It’s similar to a golden ticket in that you’re never going to get one, so stop lying to yourself now.

6. “The library shall be my new home for the next year.”

This is partly true, the library shall be your new home for a brief period (week) leading up to exams. As for the rest of the semester? Well, lets just say that you and your bed will form a close and intimate relationship because at least in bed, you won’t be judged for watching whatever classy shows it is that you watch.

7. “I’m going to really embrace college life and be a society head.”

Don't do this. Just don't. Please. 

8. “I will hand all of my assignments in on time and will not leave them untouched until the night before they’re due.”

This is very much a true and genuine aspiration, true that is, until we are given an assignment that’s due in three weeks. Three weeks seems like such a very long time, you think. I’ll leave it for a few days, do some research, gather my thoughts. (Enter Netflix) Then suddenly, without you even realising, it’s the night before and you’re pulling another caffeine fueled all nighter. So you see, really, it’s not actually all your fault…

9. “I will do every bit of recommended reading that comes my way.”

Yes, but have you SEEN how much reading one is actually expected to do? How in God's name are you expected to fit it in around sleep, drinking and online ‘researching’? It’s an impossible task. Give up now and spare yourself the stress.

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Many of us out there chose arts for different reasons. Maybe we were really good at English, or History, and chose to go down that route to teaching or writing. Maybe we just didn't quite know what we wanted to do and chose the best course that would offer us choices. Either way, we don't regret it (much). Here are some things we are sick of hearing:

1. “Oh you’re in arts … bad one”
You're an idiot…bad one. 

2. “What course did you want to get?”  
Law, but that’s really not the point…just feck off!

3) “What are you gonna do after though? Is it annoying that you can’t really use your degree?”
I don’t go around interrogating you about what you’re gonna do. Maybe I’m going to do something in the subject I have been studying…ever think of that?

4."Ah ye but she’s just in arts. Why would she be worried about grades, it’s so easy sure”
We hate you. 

5. “What do you mean your subjects aren’t all set out for you? That must be soooooo annoying!”
I’m coming for you…

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6. “You got your credits wrong!”
Okay I know it’s my fault but please don’t give out to me now. Doing an extra subject this semester will not be fun.

 

7. “Oh you’re doing a masters in English/Social Science/Psychology? Really? I thought they only did them in Business?”
You know there is more to life than a business masters people!

8. “So you’re going to be a teacher then are you?”
No, I’m not. There is more that you can do with an Arts degree you know?

And for the grand finale…

9. “Do you want fries with your degree?”
Sigh and walk away, never indulge. 

I'm sorry, but were you born stupid

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With college about to start back in just a couple of weeks, and the new batch of freshers eagerly awaiting to set foot into their respective universities, here’s what you can expect in your first semester in college. Here’s 11 amazing things about starting college!

1. The beginning of your 20's
Your final years of being a teenager are upon you and your 20's are just about to begin. They say these are the best years of your life, and they’d be right! So make the most of them.

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2. Really getting into your dating life
College is where everyone really explores the opposite sex and starts seriously dating. As a teenager, you haven’t the most educated perception about the opposite sex and what you are looking for in a partner. Experience is key, so don’t settle down with the first person you lay your eyes on.

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3. Joining clubs and societies
Colleges have hundreds of different clubs and societies which cater for everyone’s interests, sports and hobbies. Getting involved is the best way to meet new people with similar interests as you and make new friends.

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4. Playing on a college sports team
College sports have teams at varying levels in all sorts of sports, for the serious athletes to the people who are just playing for a laugh. The inter-college games are fueled with added banter and competition which everyone loves to get involved in.

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5. You are your own boss
You won’t have to deal with teachers chasing you down for sick notes or asking why you haven’t completed your homework assignment anymore. You are the only person in control of you.

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6. Making lifelong friends
You’ll hang onto your college friends for life. They are there through your most formative years and most of the time you’ll share the same interests, as you all chose the same college/career path on your own.

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7. Day drinking on campus
You don’t have a bar on your school’s territory, but at college you’ve got at the very least, one bar where you can go and neck a cheap pint of Fosters before strolling into your lecture 20 minutes late. Or not. The choice is yours.

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8. Procrastinating your way to a college degree
Procrastination seems to be born and bred in college. The key is to acutely balance your workload and procrastination levels. Too much of one thing can tip the scales and leave you with a horrid college experience, so make sure you strike a good balance between the two.

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9. Studying something that you love
Unlike school, where you’re forced to study a bunch of subjects, some of which you’re inevitably going to hate, college life allows you to hone in on one specific arena which you are interested in and begin to develop your analytical skills in that area.

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10. Scrounging off your parents for another few years
Students and scrounginess beautifully intertwine with one another. Students are synonymous with drinking beer and living cheaply, and damn do they do it well!

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11. College nights out
College nights out are without a doubt the most insane and liveliest around. Enjoy them as much as you can because once you get a stable 9-5 job, you won’t be able to get started at 3pm on a Tuesday and head into work the next morning hangover-free.

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College is a magical place where you have effectively all the freedom of an adult, with none of the responsibility. And as a result, college life isn’t quite the same as life outside it, and some words as a result mean something slightly different than they do in the real world. Here is a list of some of these words.

1. Repeats

Outside College: Does or says something again, or more than once.

In College: To be avoided at all costs. Will ruin any plans you have at the end of the summer if you don’t.

 

2. Reading

Outside College: Taking in something that is written down.

In College: Something your lecturer tells you to complete in between lectures, that you never ever do.

 

3. Guest List

Outside College: A list of names of the people invited to an event or party.

In College: A magical list that gets you in free to night clubs on a certain weekday.

 

4. Champagne

Outside College: A region of France that produces some of the most expensive sparkling wine in the world.

In College: Some really cheap bottle of prosecco or something similar that are sometimes on offer to people who bring a birthday party to a night club.

 

5. Drink

Outside College:  To take in and consume liquid.

In College: Anything with alcohol in it.

 

6. Arts

Outside College: An outlet of human expression that includes literature, music, dance, painting, photography and film.

In College: A degree that is the butt of an awful lot of jokes, and for good reason.

 

7. Food

Outside College: Any substance consumed to provide nutrition to the body.

In College: Whatever leftover takeaway is in the fridge from the night before. See also: half a box of corn flakes. Eaten dry. 

 

8. Study

Outside College: To devote time and attention to gaining knowledge of a certain subject.

In College: Something you should be doing instead of flicking endlessly through Facebook and watching the tenth episode of your favourite tv show in a row.

 

9. Assignment

Outside College: A task or piece of work allocated to someone as part of a job or course of study.

In College: Something that you will not, under any circumstances, start until the night before it is due.

 

10. Research

Outside College: Investigate a number of reliable and related sources systematically

In College: Look up the Wikipedia page on the topic and name the sources of the page as your reference material.

 

11. Clean

Outside College: Free from dirt, marks, or stains

In College: All of the empty bottles and cans from the night before are in a big bag beside the bin outside.

 

12. Being Late

Outside College: Arriving to something after the expected or desired time.

In College: Not an issue.

 

13. Bed

Outside College: Somewhere to sleep and sometimes make love to man/woman of your dreams.

In College: Your best friend.

 

14. Drunk

Outside College: To have consumed enough alcohol that your speech, balance and thought process are somewhat impaired.

In College: Passed out in a dark corner of whatever night club you got free into, cradling a bottle of that “champagne”.

 

15. A House

Outside College: A building that one or more people, often a family, lives together.

In College: Somewhere to drink.

 

16. Library

Outside College: A building that stores books/CDs/films that the public are allowed to borrow for a certain amount of time.

In College: Somewhere to sleep and pretend that you’re studying.

 

17. Central Heating

Outside College: The method by which a lot of modern houses are heated during the winter months.

In College: What’s that?

 

18. Being Broke

Outside College: Not having any money, and struggling to make end’s meet.

In College: Not having any money, but still managing to go out three times a week.

 

19. Early Start

Outside College: Getting up before 8am.

In College: Getting up before noon.

 

20. Summer

Outside College: The warmest months of the year when people often go on holidays.

In College: The months in between the end and start of college, when you struggle to find a job and spend too much time in front of the tv doing nothing.

 

21. WiFi

Outside College: A facility allowing computers, smartphones, or other devices to connect to the Internet or communicate with one another wirelessly within a particular area.

In College: More important than the air you breathe.

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The new college year is fast approaching, and if you’re anything like us, you’re probably lying awake at night making a mental list of all the ways this semester is going to be different. For example:

You not going to miss ANY lectures
Of course not. It’s going to be a golden year – you can feel it in your bones.

You’re going to wear lovely clothes every day
No more hoodies and tracksuit bottoms – it’ll be pretty dresses and funky tops from here on in. As for your hair? Never again will you utter the words “sure it’ll be alright till I get home” as you pick up the can of dry shampoo.

No more stupid boys
You’re going to be all about your studies this year – there is NO way any evening will be wasted pining over some boy you barely know. You are SO over that.

You’ll be the most organised person in the world
You’ve already stocked up on folders and dividers, not to mention an array of pens in all the colours of the rainbow. And highlighters too!

You’ll keep your handwriting super neat
No more struggling to read your own handwriting come exam time – and no more doodling either!

No more parties on weeknights
Sure you’ll be too busy with all the study, and exercise too, of course.

You’ll cook proper meals
You hadn’t realised how malnourished you were ‘till you came home for the summer. That won’t happen again though – you’ve bought a cookbook!

You’ll make that guy fall in love with you
Scratch that third one – with all the healthy eating, exercise and beautiful clothes, that guy is SURE to form a little crush – this year is going to be GREAT!  

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Many of us were in first year of college at one stage, here are some of the things you will remember feeling as the Leaving Cert results fast approach next Wednesday: 

1. “I’m a genius!”

Results are out and you’ve managed to get the points for the course you wanted. You get accepted to you’re first choice on the CAO.

2. Excitement

I’m so freakin’ excited!

You’re finally off to the big smoke…

3. Nerves

 

It’s moving time. The car is loaded up and you're ready for your college experience. 

4. “Who’s this eejit?”

Meeting your new house mates for the first time is strange. You’re thrown into a pokey apartment with 4+ strangers; space is tight, anything left in a common room becomes public property and if you’re not used to sharing then prepare to have your patience tested. You’ll soon be able to label each house mate: the quirky one, the musical one, the annoying one, the sex mad one, the party animal, the stoner, the book worm. If you’re wondering who the weird one is but can’t figure it out, it’s you.

5. FREEDOM!

Orientation is a boooooore. Sure, you find out where stuff is and you’ll probably make a friend or two, but this week is nothing compared to the freshers party week which follows … Can anyone say “TOGA”?!

6. The alcoholic phase.

Tesco vodka and gin are a thing of the past thank God now that we are older and wiser…ahem. 

7. SEEEEEEXXXXX!

For many of us, college was where we became more in tune with our sexuality. 

8. “9 am lecture? Good luuuuuuck!”

Fast forward four years and this may be your biggest regret. 

9. Being poor is the new rich

You’re broke, living off Koka noodles and black coffee with any spare cash going on whatever nights out you can afford. College will make you appreciate money soooo much more than you ever did before.

10. Nakedness

There's always that one housemate who just cannot keep their clothes on. You've seen their bum more than your own at this stage. 

11. “Oh No … I fancy my housemate"

If it doesn’t happen to you, it’ll happen to your friend. It’s pretty hilarious until one of the people concerned inevitably has to hit the road. 

12. Availing of all of the discounts

Ah how we miss all of those discounts… We still chance our arm, of course, but they always cop the 2012 on our card *dammit*

13. Protesting!

Cutting student grants? Protest! Price of pints in the SU has gone up? Protest! Don’t know what everyone is giving out about? Protest!

14. Clubs and Societies

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The ones you’ll join directly relate to the amount of free stuff you will get from them.

15. Boring Weekends

Your Saturday nights consist of bad TV and eating your feelings.

16. Kleptomania

 

Why do you have a traffic cone, a shopping trolley, 3 wet floor signs, drip mats and road signs in your living room? Because you can, that’s why.

17. Panic

Exams are looming, you’ve done feck all for the whole semester. A few all nighters, pass by compensation, be grand!

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