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dating rules

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There now seems to be plenty of rules when it comes to dating. But just because they exist, doesn’t mean that you need to follow them. Here are five dating rules that you need to break:

Don’t ask him out
This is the most ridiculous rule on the list, there is no reason for you to wait on him to make the first move. If you like him and you’re pretty sure he likes you, why not organise a date with him yourself. You’re only delaying the inevitable, and besides he could be relieved that you finally made the dreaded first move.

Play hard to get
Don’t wait a certain amount of hours to reply to his texts. As long as you’re not bombarding him with messages, it’s ok to reply to a text straight away and if he gets freaked out by that he’s not the one for you.

Expect him to pay
It’s ok to chip in when it comes to a meal, especially if you happened to order the most expensive dish on the menu.

Don’t hook-up on the first date
If an attraction is there, an attraction is there. Do what works best for both you and for him.

Act different
Be yourself! Cheesy be true, you want him to fall in love with the real you.

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Here are 10 gentlemanly acts that guys should really bring back into the game – acts that are in no way threatening a woman’s independence, but are gestures that show they care and are part of the old school bro code.

1. Hold doors open for her.

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Yes, she can hold her own doors – she has arms and hands. But doing that extra work, no matter how minimal it really is, makes sure that she doesn’t have to. It’s a nice thing to do. Strain yourself and expend your energy so that she doesn’t have to.

2. Offer to pay on the first date.

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The fact is that many of us, if not most, live on a very tight budget. It’s often not possible to cover the whole bill because that’ll mean you won’t make rent, depending on where you are. If she likes you for the right reasons then she won’t think twice about going halfsies. However, if you can afford it then a gentleman should at least attempt to pay the tab. If she offers to split it with you even after you offer to pay for it, then thank her, but tell her that she can cover the tab next time. This almost guarantees a second date and leaves you looking like a gentleman.

3. Don’t try to get into her pants on the first date.

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This one is a hard one – I know. But getting into the sack too early on can kill any chance of a loving relationship. Why? Because there is no build up of sexual tension or excitement.

4. Keep your eyes on the prize and only the prize (not that she’s an object, but you get the idea).

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Keep your eyes away from other women. She may know that you want to sleep with every beautiful woman in the world, but she would like to know that you have enough self-control to pay attention to her and just her. If you can’t keep your eyes to yourself then, chances are, you can’t keep your hands to yourself either. Not the way a gent would act.

5. Help her with her coat.

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Again, she can do it herself but that doesn’t mean that she should have to. Why would you help her put her coat on? A better question would be: why not? Putting a coat on can sometimes be tricky – save her the embarrassment and the time and help her put it on. To add a cherry on top: It gives you an excuse to get close to her and see if there really is physical chemistry.

6. Make sure she gets home safe.

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You had a great date. Now go and get her a taxi. Don’t expect her to get one herself. They can be difficult to catch and, believe it or not, the darker it gets, the more dangerous it gets – especially for women. This isn’t us being a sexist. We are being realistic. Make sure she either gets home safely or gets to her transportation safely. If you don’t take her home, then ask her to, at the very least, text you when she gets home safe. Little things like this go a long way.

7. Follow up with her the next morning.

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If you like her and she likes you, then she won’t mind you contacting her the next day and telling her that you had a great time. In fact, it’s likely to put a smile on her face and that is the only thing you need to worry about. Don’t hound her or push for another date right away – it’s a turn off – but let her know that you definitely would want to see her again. Following up the next morning does just that.

8. Flowers go a long way.

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Buying a girl flowers on the first date is a bit cheesy. However, if you’ve been dating someone for a while, then buy her flowers from time to time. It can be on date night. It can be on a Monday, just because. If she doesn’t like flowers then find something else that you can give her that will make her feel special. Go out of your way to make her happy – because that’s what gentlemen do.

9. Make ‘Hanging Out’ special.

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Enjoy your time with her and create special and wonderful memories with her. Remember foreplay, not just the sexual kind, goes a long way.

10. Buy her things just because you want to.

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If you can afford to spend money on your woman, then spend money on her. Why? Because it’s one of the best investments you can make. If you really do love her, then give her the things that she secretly wants. Buy her things and really they can just be little things, like a bar of chocolate, and you’ll make her day a bit better.

via our content partner CT

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Don’t call until three days after you get their number
Leaving it the three days is a ridiculous rule. Leave it a week, leave it an hour, do what you want. If they like you, a stupid 72-hour rule isn’t going to change anything. Don’t be a sheep.

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The man must always pay
In the words of Cosmo: “When the bill comes, wait for him to make a move for it. When he does, reach for your purse/wallet and continue the payment process until he says “I’ve got it” (and then say “thanks” and drop it). If he doesn’t say it, you’ll have to split it. But don’t say, “Can we split this?” or “I’d really like to split this” because he may think you actually mean it.”
Why is it that even though society says men and women as equal, dating hasn’t moved on from prehistoric times?

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Only date people with good jobs
If you’re a slacker and are just looking for someone good to have on your arm, how shallow can you be? How about making sure you have a good education and are in a position to look after yourself from your own job?

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Eat lightly on a first date
Make a pig of yourself, order the steak! What’s the point in being careful and eating a grain of rice at a time if you’re just going to turn around six months into a potential relationship with this person and get crumbs in the bed while eating toast?

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It’s a conversation not an interview
If we’re to be honest, it’s an interview. You will go through the motions of every interview you’ve ever been through -nerves, sweaty palms, resorting to pre-planned answers when you get confused, telling them you’re a team player and giving examples of times when you were able to motivate those around you.

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Wait to have sex
Again, so what if you have sex on the first night? We’re all self respecting adults (I hope) and if we mutually choose to have sex on the first date then so be it.

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Basically every pre-conceived notion that society has for first dates leads us all to become this person who is nowhere near who we actually are. Be yourself – if they like you for you then maybe you’ll see them again, if not then who cares? It was never going to work.

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via our content partner CT

 

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