Melanie Chisholm revealed she's lucky to be alive after restricting her diet during the early years of her career in the music industry.
The Spice Girl made the admission when she appeared on the TV series In Conversation With, telling comedian John Bishop how she suffered from depression and disordered eating while in the girl band.
Known for her athletic figure and sporty style, Mel kept her struggles out of the spot light.
"I started to restrict my food to a point where I was just like – God only knows how I survived – but I think for maybe a couple of years, maybe it couldn't have been that long – but I was just eating fruit and vegetables," she said.
"That was it. And with that workload."
The 43-year-old previously spoke about her obsession with being the “perfect” pop-star, telling The Telegraph she thought she needed to look a certain way in order to be worthy of her success.
"I thought I had to be a certain way to be deserving of everything that was happening to me… to be a pop-star I had to be perfect, and that was my way of trying to achieve perfection.”
“I was exercising obsessively and all of my time with the Spice Girls I think I was probably living on adrenaline.
John Bishop: In Conversation with Melanie C airs on Thursday October 12 on W.
For anyone with direct experience of disordered eating, they will know that the media's portrayal of the various conditions aren't always an accurate reflection of the lived reality.
But for many of us whose understanding of anorexia and bulimia is born of book, movies and TV shows, it might come as a surprise to learn that a person living with an eating disorder may look no different to anyone else in our social group.
Indeed, they may spend years battling an illness – symptoms of which are invisible to their friends and family.
Making it her mission to remind the public of this, body-positive Instagram user, Carissa Seligman, shared a splitscreen shot of herself in an effort to highlight the misunderstanding around eating disorders.
A post shared by Carissa S (@carissasweatstagram) on
"The girl with the eating disorder isn't always the one who looks "scary skinny." In fact, she may not even be the thinnest in the room," she began in a post which has been liked 2,000 times.
"But what you see on the outside doesn't always translate to what is going on inside. The minute I saw the photo on the left I said "oh, that was me after my eating disorder." Well that's not true. That's not even kind of true."
Turning her attention to the photo she uploaded, Carissa, whose Instagram page now focuses on healthy eating and fitness regimes, wrote: "Yes, this picture was taken AFTER I started eating again… probably the year after… but I was very much IN my eating disorder."
"I had gone through a 4ish month period of starving myself and surviving solely on caffeine and crackers. Then, I started eating again and could. not. stop. I felt awful. None of the things that spurred my starvation period had been solved, discovered, or discussed and I began to use food to fill a hole."
Giving her followers an insight into the emotional turmoil she endured during this time, she admitted that a quick-fix was not something she landed upon.
A post shared by Carissa S (@carissasweatstagram) on
"So not only was I unhappy without really knowing it, BUT I was gaining weight which at the time was my worst nightmare. And I was doing anything I could to lose it again. I wish I could tell you that I solved it; that I found a solution and started to look and feel great VERY quickly… but that's just not true."
"The photo on the left was taken in 2005. Up until 2016, I was trying to get back to the weight I was during my 4 month starvation period."
Hammering home the poignancy of her mission at the time, Carissa continued: "11 YEARS! 11 years of having a terrible relationship with food, my body, and my mind."
"But it isn't like that now! I FINALLY started to develop a healthy relationship with food, which is why I wrote this. Because I really hope it doesn't take you 11 years to start to feel better."
"In 2016, a few things happened. I got serious about my career and realized that I was good at what I did. Having that, contributed to my self worth and self esteem. I stopped drinking and using alcohol as a band aid."
A post shared by Carissa S (@carissasweatstagram) on
"I was finally free to find things that brought me joy. I got back to moving, getting stronger, & feeling better. Food became an ally in my life. And now, here I am feeling and looking better than I ever have. AND I'M SO VERY GRATEFUL."
Reaching out to anyone who is currently in a similar position, Carissa admits the journey back to health is far from easy, but undeniably worth it.
"Self love is WORK. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I can't. There's no quick fix or simple solution. The inside has to be good before the outside will be anything you can love."
The post has been inundated with comments from followers paying tribute to Carissa's courage and honesty before offering an insight into their own experiences.
"Thank you for posting this. I suffer from Anorexia and am slowly recovering," wrote one social media user.
"I don't "look" like it though…and a lot of people are like "why don't you just eat more?" When…they don't get it because I don't "look" sick enough. I'm still battling with food and my relationship with it, but this was inspiring to see. I'm glad I did."
