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excuses

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It's time to celebrate one of the biggest holidays in the employment calendar; National Sickie Day. *Tosses confetti*

We figured it's time to do some healthy digging and find out what gems people were using to call in sick to work, and we also desired to know the dumbest excuses too. Natural curiosity gets the better of us…

Employment Law Experts (ELAS) are saying that the estimated number of employees calling in sick in 2017 on National Sickie Day was… wait for it…350,000 WORKERS. Wow.

Why is the first week of February just too unbearable for everyone to face their jobs? A combination of factors are predicted, such as the first weekend after Dry January and the first post-Christmas pay-day.

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ELAS have also predicted that National Sickie Day will cost the British economy around £45 million (€51.3 million), due to hours lost, wages and overtime. Good God, that's a LOT of wasted labour.

According to a survey by AXA PPP, using the flu excuse seemed to be satisfactory for four out of 10 bosses. However, eight percent of managers weren't convinced by a single one of the nine 'best excuses' listed below…

The number one excuse for ringing in sick (according to the boss) was the flu, with back pain coming in second, and injury caused by accident in third place.

Stress, elective surgery, depression, anxiety, common cold and migraine finished up the top nine, with 'none of the above' in 10th place, meaning there were some other crackers outside of the top 10 that we just NEED to hear.

According to ELAS, the absolute WORST excuses in 2016 for missing work were:

“My only pair of work trousers is in the wash”, “It’s my dog’s birthday and I need to arrange a party for him”, “The dog ate my shoes”, “I got arrested”, “I lost my PPE”, and of course; “I stayed out partying last night and haven’t had any sleep”.

Classic. Other contenders were; “My friend is on annual leave so I can’t get a lift”, “I have no way to get to work” and “My wife earns more than me so I have to look after the kids”

Ah lads, you've got to do better than that. A bit of creativity would go a long way with that lot…

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It’s a scenario that most of us will be familiar with: we spot a must-have item, try it on, and fall desperately in love. The only problem? You’re weeks away from pay-day and the price-tag is less than obliging.

Still, there’s a tried-and-tested defence that we’ve probably all drawn on at some stage or another: “I’ll get loads of wear out of it.” In fact, the line is our number one excuse to justify shopping – according to research carried out by gift card company, One4all.

Incredibly, one in five shop for new clothes every single week, and close-to one in four shop monthly. A massive 78 percent of us treat ourselves to something new when we reach a milestone, and more than half use shopping as a pick-me-up when we’re feeling down.

And now there’s yet another excuse – namely the wholly commendable Shop4Crumlin campaign.

From May 9 to May 17 if you make a purchase using your One4all gift card in any of their 6,000 retail outlets nationwide or online, One4all will donate 50c to Our Lady’s Hospital Crumlin. Better still, if you shop in Brown Thomas, Marks & Spencer, Debenhams, Arnotts, or Life Style Sports, the retailers will match your donation with another 50c, bringing your total donation to €1.

“The money raised from this campaign will help fund new radiography equipment which will reduce the radiation dose to a child while also improving X-ray imagery,” Crumlin says, adding that some of the money will also go towards its Giggle Fund, which helps put a smile on the face of a sick child.

One4all is now telling people to dig out their gift cards – so if there’s an unused Christmas or birthday present knocking around still, then get spending guilt-free from May 9 – 17.

See one4all.ie and www.cmrf.org

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We all have those good days where we hit the gym and feel great. Then there are days where you would rather eat your shoe than go to that place.

Here are the excuses we tell ourselves on those days: 

1. “If I go now it will be really crowded.”
Especially with all of those body builders around taking up all of the space. 

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2. “I just sneezed two times. I might be getting sick.”
Cough cough, can't go! Now where's my duvet?! 

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3. “I’ll probably be tired all day if I go to the gym before work.”
We can't have that now can we? 

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4. “I’m still a little sore from yesterday.”
Does this mean something is changing? 

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5. “Oh, it’s leg day today…”
Dear God, do NOT skip leg day. 

 

6. ”I haven’t eaten enough food to go workout today.”
This is definitely a valid excuse. 

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7. “I’m going out tonight so I best relax beforehand and save my energy.”
Sure you'll be burning all those pesky cals on the dancefloor anyway, same thing!

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8. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
Nap time, zzz…!

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9. “I’ll just go in the morning…”
Early to bed, early to…ooh Gossip Girl is on!

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via our content partner CT

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It’s never easy to take when you meet the love of your life on a night out, exchange numbers, get in a taxi to go home, and never hear from them again.

We seek out excuses as to why he hasn’t been in touch, but we need to stop. Dragging out the pain is useless when you know deep down that he was just playing games.

The next time your friends list out these go-to excuses, you’ll know that they’re only being nice, and you can finally stop staring at your phone.

Maybe he has no credit?
Not that this was ever a viable excuse (why didn’t he just buy some?!), the rise in bill phones has made it totally redundant.

He’s probably waiting for YOU to text HIM
We’re all for making the first move, but we still can’t help but think that if he’s really interested we wouldn’t have to.

Maybe he lost his phone
Web text, anyone?

Maybe you gave him the wrong phone number
Seriously, what are the chances?

He’s probably just busy
Too busy for one text? If this is true, he doesn’t sound like he’d be much fun to be around!

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It’s harsh but true. Sometimes girls lie or do mean things to get away from guys in clubs because it’s easier than just saying, “No.”

1. Make up a boyfriend
Well, it’s kinder than outright rejection!  Some guys respond with questions like, “What’s his name?” or “Where is your boyfriend tonight?”  These guys clearly can’t take a hint.  If you’re going to use this excuse, prepare an extended biography for your fictional boyfriend in order to stop him from asking any further questions.  Say his name is Fabio and he’s a Brazilian cage-fighter.  Yeah, that’ll do the trick.

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2. “I’m sick” *coughcough*
Pretend to be sick- so sick that if you kiss this guy, his tonsils will blow up and choke him to death.  Really, you’re doing him a favour by not kissing him…

I'm sick

3. Pretend to be a lesbian
Some guys won’t believe you.  Others will ask you to score your girl best friend who is standing beside you.  Under no circumstances will you acquiesce in this request.

4.  “I just broke up with someone.”
MAGIC.  Use your sadness as a repellant  It’s a classic “it’s not you, it’s me” situation.  Really, they can’t be offended.

5. “My friend needs me!”
Oh my, have you just spotted your BFF stumbling out of a bathroom or falling down the stairs?  Sorry lads, but us girls gotta stick together.  We’ll be seeing you later.

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6. The bathroom break
If he’s been following you around the past hour and he’s still not showing any signs of going away, go to the bathroom and wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Until finally… he’ll be gone.

7. The best friend/boyfriend
Have your best guy/gay friend appear out of nowhere and strategically climb on top of him.

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8) The Jenna Marbles.
No words.  Just this face:

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via our content partner CT

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