The candles are lit, the lights are dimmed and you’re both feeling frisky – and then he does something that instantly kills the mood.

1. Bad music
Did he really think the mix tape he made when he was 17 would work? 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls may have gotten him lucky as a teenager, but it isn’t getting him anywhere this time.

2. Leave to pee
We told him he shouldn’t have had all that water before bed and now he has to stop nibbling your earlobe to make a mad dash to the bathroom. By the time he gets back, you need to go!

3.  Fart
It doesn’t matter if it happens before or during romantic time, that single note coming out of his backside is heralding the death of your libido.

4. Answer the phone
Any guy should know that answering the phone to interrupt a lip-locking session is a big no-no. This is just rude and a massive mood-killer, especially if it’s his mum on the other end of the line – shudder.

5.  Watch the football
You mistake his exclamations of glee for true passion, until you realise he is watching the football on the telly from the corner of his eye as he unhooks your bra. Who said men can’t multi-task?