‘Distinct lack of riding’: A brutally honest review of Fifty Shades Freed
There are few things more closely associated with one another than the Fifty Shades series and kinky sexcapades.
However, if you're looking forward to sitting in the dark among strangers to watch glorified porn for two hours, the third cinematic instalment will leave you disappointed.
While there were a number of steamy scenes in the film, one question was on my mind after seeing Fifty Shades Freed – where was all the riding?
As someone who has read the books, which include 10-page long passages highlighting the various aspects of Ana Steel and Christian Grey's sexual encounters in excruciating detail, frankly I was expecting to be titillated by Hollywood endorsed erotica.
However, the third instalment of the film trilogy was definitely in the romance category, rather than an adult drama.
While there were a number of sexy scenes, it seems that marriage was the nail in the coffin of Mr and Mrs Grey's exploration of extreme BDSM.
While the first sex scene did see Ana handcuffed by the wrists and ankles, the following sex scenes were devoid of the various BDSM elements one has come to anticipate from the franchise.
There was only one single, solitary and playful pat on the bottom from Christian to Ana as opposed to the fully fledged spanking sessions in previous films and literature, and while screen time was dedicated to a drawer full of butt plugs and a blindfolded Ana on a St Andrew's cross, equal if not more time was committed to the pair's missionary exploits.
So unexciting were the sexual elements of the film that in one scene which featured Dakota Johnson's character creating a trail of Ben & Jerry's ice cream down her husbands torso to create a dairy-laden pathway to mutual oral, I honesty felt offended by the flagrant wasting of ice cream.
There's an additional subplot to the film which sees Jamie Dornan's character develop from a classic controlling misogynist to essentially not being an a*shole.
In the opening dialogue, Ana and Christian can be seen soaking up the sun on a nude beach on their honeymoon.
Understandable, Ana wants to remove her bikini top to tan the tatas, but her now husband forbids it, and even attempts to shame her by pointing out that his bodyguard will see her. When she goes against his wishes, he makes them leave the beach.
Later in the film, we see his attitude change as he begins to 'allow her' to wear the clothes she chooses, which is apparent in his appreciation for a low cut sequinned dress she dons. However, when purchasing the guna, Christian's reaction to it is in the back of her mind, creating this undercurrent of foreboding over his controlling nature.
However, if you're looking for a romantic film with a thriller edge, Fifty Shades might be right up your alley.
It's ultimately a romance with a feel-good ending and a healthy amount of deviating plot lines to keep viewers intrigued.
It's recommended that you watch the previous films first, as a number of plot lines are continued in the third flick which aren't given the back story that would be required for someone just dipping into the franchise with the third film to understand.
