Mad for a bigger booty? Well, your CAREER is ruining your bum goals

Sep 1, 2016

If you squat like a good thing, but have yet to see any change to your tush, you may have your working environment to blame.

According to emerging reports, you can squat until you're blue in the face (literally), but you'll undo all your good work if you spend most of your working day sitting on your bum.

For those of you who spend the majority of the day at a desk, you're unfortunately leaving yourself susceptible to the curse of the pancake-arse, also known as 'office-ass'.

Speaking to the New York Post, physical therapist, Abby Bales, advises office workers to stretch their legs for five minutes every hour in order to avoid that 'extra-long back' look.

Reminding the public that, despite popular opinion, sitting on your arse won't make for a bigger booty, Abby said: "The more you sit, the more you have the chance of developing a flatter booty."

"So, the first line of defence is to stand up more," she advised.

More regular tea breaks, it is.

Booty? What booty? 13 issues only flat-bummed girls must deal with

Mar 23, 2016

by Amber Saunders

When the whole wide world is falling over itself to celebrate big-bummed women, it's easy to feel pretty damn miserable if you're a lady with absolutely no junk in your trunk to speak of.

Whether you're petite with a non-existent ass or tall with a bum that simply melts into your thighs, unless you have curves that Kim and Nicki would be proud of, you may as well sit this decade out.

Everyday is a long-ass day for girls like us, amirite? Here are just some of the struggles we must face….

1. You constantly question what caused this unfortunate pancake-like syndrome.
“Did I sit too much as a child? Oh.My.God. Did I bring this on MYSELF?”

2. You have actually lifted your ass up in front of the mirror to see what a “real bum”would look like.
“Get OUT! I'm not doing anything!”

3. Highwaisted jeans prove that the only curve you have from behind is the back of your skull.
“Seriously, you can't tell where my back ends and my legs start, can you?”

4. Butt implants, padded jeans, six pairs of knickers – you've considered it all.
“I don't care how much it costs! With an arse like that, college would pay for itself.”

5. Doing squats in order to GET an ass is difficult when you don't actually HAVE an ass to use.
“I AM pushing it out! I AM!”

6. You puzzle over the fact that you can still have cellulite on an ass that doesn't exist.
“How? How is that fair?"

7. You love that ONE pair of pants which make you look like you have SOMETHING going on.
“Oh, did my GIANT ASS almost knock you over? Yeah, sorry about that.”

8. You check out other girls' bums more than any lad you know.
“Look at it! Talk about perfectly-proportioned!”

9. You become paranoid that people in your lectures / on your daily commute/ or in the office refer to you simply as The Girl With No Ass.
“I just wanna be like you!”