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frenemies

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Frenemies; we all have them.

Female friendships can be very complex, and while we all have our besties to sing our praises and hug us when we're down; we also have our frenemies who make snarky comments and and give us side eye at just about every opportunity.

We love them… and we hate them at the same time, and while they only seem to be there when they need something, it actually turns out that they make us work harder and be better people.

Bet you didn't see that coming.

While many complain that women need to raise each other up (which we're ALL for), science has a different understanding.

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Researchers at the University of North Carolina studied a group of undergraduates and found that we should all cherish our frenemies.

The experts had the undergraduates text each other; half of them sent messages of encouragement, and the other half sent messages to undermine the students.

Once frenemies were established (the scientific term is 'ambivalent relationship' FYI), the students were told to edit an error-filled blog post that they were told was written by their new friend or frenemy.

The blog post was actually written by the researchers and they found that the frenemies edited the posts better than the people who were friendly with each other.

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So, why do we perform better in front of our frenemy? Well, basically the researchers explain that frenemies get under our skin in a way that nobody else can.

And even though we do a hella lotta complaining about them, we're subconsciously interested in what makes them tick, and how we can work around it.

Therefore, we want to present our best selves in front of them, and will push ourselves to work harder if they're in our surroundings.

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Some of your hate is legitimate, while some is just in your head. Regardless, here are the friends you can’t help hating (if only a little).

1. Houdini
They will build and build and build up a night out with you, yet disappear and leave you in the lurch the second you get inside the door of the club. They’ll never be there when you need them the most, choosing instead to hang out with some random guy or girl.

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2. The Copy Cat
They copy you, and straight up steal all of your ideas. New item of clothing? They’ll have the same identical piece only days later and claim not to have seen you with it at all. They’ll copy you until you can no longer take it. They just want to be with you and unless it stops, they’ll be copying life dreams you have, like a dream wedding.

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3. The Terrible Listener
Sometimes we just need someone to talk to; someone to shut up and let us vent. However, this friend makes it their business to make you feel even worse than you already do by turning your sob stories into success stories about themselves, completely ignoring the fact that you are in a terrible place.

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4. The Bright Eyed And Bushy Tailed One
The last one standing on every night out and the messiest of all of you, yet they are the ones who are as fresh as a daisy the next day. Up for an early morning swim or run while you suffer on with your hangover, even though you were in bed 4 hours before them.

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5. The Flaky One
“I’ll definitely be there,” followed by “I’ll be a few minutes late,” followed by “running late not sure if I’ll make it” (this while you’re in position at your pre-designated meet place for an hour. Why do we even bother?…

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6. The Genetically Gifted
The fastest metabolism on the planet, this person literally eats twice the the junk food that you do and yet still has the body of a Victoria’s Secret model.

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7. Unnecessary Liar
You know the type. They make up an unnecessary over the top story that no one believes but you all nod and smile. All it means is that the one time they actually do spot a celebrity or get freaky with an Irish rugby player, no one will believe them.

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8. The Silver Spooned Prince(ss)
The one with the silver spoon. Its not their fault they’re rich, but we can’t help but conclude that all their successes (no matter how small) would not have been achieved without money. The reality is that they come from a background where that money came from a hard work ethic, which they have also inherited.

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via our content partner CT

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1. “You were so fun last night. You really don’t care what people think, do you?”

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2. “Oh he’s your boyfriend? Jaysus fair play to ya, you’ve done well.”

3. “I wish I could feel as good in baggy clothes as you do!”

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4. “Your dancing is so original!”

5. “Your dress is just..so nice..see if I wore that I would look like an absolute whore.”

6. “I’m just not curvy like you. I mean that as a compliment.”

7. “He will definitely like you…he used to go out with this hound of a thing.”

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8. “I’d love to be as smart as you and care less about what I look like”

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9. “I cannot believeeeeee you’re working there. How the hell did you get that? Do you know someone who works there?”

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10. “Bridget Jones really reminds me of you – I just love her”

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11. “I did not expect you to do better than me in exams…congratulations!”

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12. “How in Gods name did you get that masters?”

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13. “You’re moving abroad? With no job? God, I wish I had your guts! I’m just too much of a perfectionist”

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14. “Ohhhhhh, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. He just seemed like the single type.”

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15. “I just hate that skirt but it looks great on you”

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16. “You are looking really well these days you are almost becoming a threat”

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Maybe it is the way she looks at you, maybe it is the boyfriend advice she gave you, maybe you just don’t get a good vibe. If you’re unsure about whether your best friend is actually a Best Friend For-Never, here are the signs that it’s time to cut that cord. 

Staring
You catch them staring at you quite a bit. Not in a pervy way but as if they’re plotting your demise. If you ask them what is wrong, they will smile and say nothing and continue to do it. Something isn’t right here.

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Selective texting
You’ll notice they’ll only text you when they want something, be it to talk about themselves or they want you to go drinking with them. You text them and hear nothing. “Oh my phone’s been acting weird.” “I didn’t get your message.”  Is it because they hate you? Or do they just not care?

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Excuses
They always have an excuse when you ask to meet. People might wonder why you haven’t copped on already. But you are a nice person and you thought that you two were friends. How many excuses is it going to take? You’re starting to see a pattern, aren’t you?

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Failure
When you fail, their reaction is slightly disturbing. It’s not that they laugh or make it obvious that they are happier now than  before you lost your job – there is just an odd smirk. You’ve also heard that their face lights up when they retell the story.

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Back Handed Compliments
You may find them sending you weird signals. These signals are in the form of compliments. “You look nice…that isn’t something you would normally wear.” “That kind of drama would just never happen to me.” How have you not known by now that this girl isn’t your “BFF for evaaa xoxo”. It is okay at least now you know.

Ashamed
No matter what you do or what you say there is a sigh or an eye roll. Dancing in a nightclub, talking to a friend or voicing an opnion. Anything can cause disapproval.

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Lack Of Support
You could have been mugged on Grafton Street or clamped because your ticket was the wrong way around. No matter what it is they will not support you. There is no sympathy there whatsoever.

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Boyfriend
They are either constantly criticising your boyfriend or repeatedly pointing out they scored him three years ago. There is no boundaries or no respect here. They hate your happiness.

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Condescending
They will tell you to “Shhh!!”, they will tell you that you wouldn’t understand and they’ll even tell you that you are stupid. They’ll also patronise you whenever you speak.

Insults
Sober, it’s just the subtle jibes that are thrown your way, but once a drink hits their lips, all hell will break loose. They’ll tell you they’re “just being honest” and then they will point out every single flaw you have.

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