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frenemy

Frenemies; we all have them.

Female friendships can be very complex, and while we all have our besties to sing our praises and hug us when we're down; we also have our frenemies who make snarky comments and and give us side eye at just about every opportunity.

We love them… and we hate them at the same time, and while they only seem to be there when they need something, it actually turns out that they make us work harder and be better people.

Bet you didn't see that coming.

While many complain that women need to raise each other up (which we're ALL for), science has a different understanding.

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Researchers at the University of North Carolina studied a group of undergraduates and found that we should all cherish our frenemies.

The experts had the undergraduates text each other; half of them sent messages of encouragement, and the other half sent messages to undermine the students.

Once frenemies were established (the scientific term is 'ambivalent relationship' FYI), the students were told to edit an error-filled blog post that they were told was written by their new friend or frenemy.

The blog post was actually written by the researchers and they found that the frenemies edited the posts better than the people who were friendly with each other.

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So, why do we perform better in front of our frenemy? Well, basically the researchers explain that frenemies get under our skin in a way that nobody else can.

And even though we do a hella lotta complaining about them, we're subconsciously interested in what makes them tick, and how we can work around it.

Therefore, we want to present our best selves in front of them, and will push ourselves to work harder if they're in our surroundings.

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Let’s face it, most of us don’t have one best friend, we just have a group of many best friends.

Childhood best friend
She’s been there as long as you can remember. You probably met her at school and you can’t imagine your life without her. She’s been there for every big moment in your life so far and will be there for the rest that are to come.

Frenemy
At this stage, you would like to think you’ve matured beyond the stage of having a “frenemy”. But unfortunately, every friend group has one. You probably tolerate her because she is your best friends’ friend and hope in time you will grow to love her as much your friend does. You hope.

Opposite best friend
You love her but you’re constantly questioning how you two became best friends in the first place. Your messy, she’s neat, you love Ryan Gosling and she prefers Johnny Depp. But somehow it weirdly works out.

Your twin best friend
The two of you have made some weird connection and are practically in sync with one another. You wear the same clothes unintentionally and practically say the same things all of the time. It’s no surprise that people have mistaken you both for sisters.

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