Make 2015 the year you reignite an old friendship!

Lifestyle

Dec 17, 2014

While some people are lucky enough to have held onto childhood friends long into their adult years, most of us have simply grown apart from our older pals as time goes on.

As a kid, everyone was a potential friend. Interests and opinions didn’t come into it, and as long as you were happy to share your toys you were perfect friend material. Growing older, we placed a little more weight on our friendships – remember how important it was in school to have someone you could call your BFF?

I can remember at least five different girls who I would have called my “best friend” at one time or another during my school years. Although luckily there’s no bad blood between any of us, I can’t remember the last time I spoke to any of them. And to make things worse, if I did bump into them on the street I fear it would be very, very awkward. How could we catch up on ten years in a single conversation? Would we even have anything to talk about, bar our former obsession with Boyzone?

I hate knowing that there are people out there who I was once close to but have zero contact with now. That’s why I’m going to make 2015 the year I change that. Forget dieting or healthy eating, my resolution this year will be all about making the effort with old friends. I’m not expecting to get back to the BFF zone of course, but I’d love to build up some contact with forgotten pals all the same.

Whether it’s a Facebook message, or a birthday card, or even (GASP) arranging to meet them, I really don’t see any downside to the plan. Yes it’s been a while and we might have grown up and changed along the way, but that’s not a reason to avoid seeing someone.

It’s true that it becomes harder to make new friends as you grow older. School and college years were full of potential new pals, but unless you plan on travelling the world or changing job every six months, there are not a whole lot of opportunities to meet new people once you hit adult life. But what about those old friends we’ve left behind? Wouldn’t it be great to hit things off with them all over again?

A new year is as good a time as any to rebuild old connections and to make new ones too. So why not track down that school friend or childhood bestie that you haven’t spoken to in years? Maybe things ended badly or maybe the relationship just faded out, but after all this time there’s no reason why you can’t both give things a second chance.

Making friends as adults: The stages and struggles

Lifestyle

Dec 1, 2014

by Amber Saunders

We’ve all heard of holiday romances that fizzle out the minute the couple return to normal life and J1 friendships that couldn’t stand the test of time back in rainy Ireland, haven’t we?

But have we thought about the friendships we attempt to forge with people we meet at parties or have we completely blocked out that horror?

We’ve all been there. Your friend promises to stay by your side at some alcohol-based gathering, but as you predicted, she ends up ditching you and creepin' on that guy like a cray-cray loon.

So what do you do?

You vow firstly to never forgive her and secondly to set your sights on the nearest other loser. (The first one being you, obviously)

In your happiness at actually having someone to talk to, you mistakenly conjure up a connection which should never have been initiated in the first place.

Here are the seven stages we experience when making friends as an adult.

The introduction
You’re standing alone, holding your coat.

They’re standing alone, holding the key to your treasure trove of jokes and anecdotes.

Excitement

This person doesn’t know your Ayia Napa story. They haven’t seen your Eamonn Dunphy impression.

There’s so much to share! There’s so much to give!

Adoration

How are you only meeting this person now?! Would you look at them at the bar, they’re GAS!

Shots? Yes! A common bond over Sweet Valley High? You know it!

Joy
One-to-one coffee next week?

Absolutely! Name a time, champ!

The meet-up
And then you meet up. It’s just the two of you. My God, this is like a date.

Why did you use all your best material the other night?

Embarrassment
Your real friends don’t make you feel like this. They let you repeat your stories.

They’re not constantly seeking the new! My God, give me a chance!

Mortification
Manners dictate you must suggest seeing them around again. Manners dictates they must suggest the same.

I’m never going to another party again. Where are my real friends?

The do’s and dont’s when your friend is going through a break-up

Relationships

Nov 19, 2014

by Amber Saunders

We've all been there. Your friend has tearfully announced that her and her other half are no more and it's YOUR job to make it right. No pressure!

Not always easy, not always rewarding, but always, always necessary!

Here are ten tips on how to to deal with post-break up territory.

The Do's

Do buy her chocolate and sit with her all weekend if that’s what she wants, but ONLY if that’s what she wants.

Do listen to her rose-tinted version of her relationship, no matter what you think. Telling her that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be is not going to do you, or her, any favours.

Do remind her that it will get better. Yes, you’ll get a glare or balled-up tissue thrown at you, but your words will resonate with her later when she’s on her own.

Do organise some things that will take her mind off the situation. Not everyone responds to a break-up by wanting to go out, get thrashed and score a randomer. Cinema trips, pizza dinners and ice cream fests are the kinds of girlie evenings that will, whether she wants to believe it or not, make her feel better.

Do remember that it’s OK to take a step back every now and again and let another pal take up the slack. You’re not being a bad friend, you’re simply looking after yourself at the same time.

The Don'ts

Don't badmouth him. A few harmless jokes about his appalling choice in footwear wouldn't go astray though! She may be heartbroken, but let's call a spade a spade.

Don't bring up times she criticised him in a bid to make her feel better. It definitely won’t. In fact, it may make her heart break a little bit more.

Don't compare her current situation with any from your past. She won’t see the similarities, no matter how glaring they are, and she might feel like she’s not entitled to vent.

Don't forget to remind her how fantastic SHE is. These situations too often focus on the absent boyfriend and we forget to focus on his great SHE was before him, and will be, after him!

Don't get so bogged down in her woes that you feel like you’re carrying the burden for the two of you. You can’t be a support if you’re mentally and emotionally drained.

And remember, she'd do the same for you in a heartbeat.

Astronauts show the strength of friendship as crowd cheers on

May 30, 2014

by Amber Saunders

A big hug is an unbeatable cure for lots of things – even a tricky question that could have easily rocked the boat big time.

When a reporter for a Russian television station asked the question, “Is there any place for politics in space?” these three International Space Station crew members from three different countries didn’t need words to answer.

Instead, Alexander Gerst of Germany, Maxim Suraev of Russia and American Reid Wiseman let their love do the talking with a heartwarming group hug.

“This is our answer” Reid Wiseman said in Russian.

“Yes, this is our answer for everyone to see,” Suraev added.

The display of international friendship took place at a news conference in Kazakhstan this week on the eve of the crew’s departure for a six-month mission at the International Space Station.

We love it!

You’ll never guess what Taylor Swift has said about Selena Gomez!

Celebrity

May 10, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Aww, we are loving what Taylor Swift has said about her BFF, Selena Gomez.

The singer was speaking about what makes their friendship so special when she said: “It’s been the longest one I think either of us has had really. When your life changes and you get thrust into this really strange whirlwind where what your life is is different from what other people think your life is. And your life is commented on and written about and fictionalised and all that. Both of us have kind of stuck it out and hung in there through all the different changes we’ve been through. Longevity is something you really can find very precious and rare in friendships.”

Taylor and Selena’s friendship has been under much scrutiny over the last few months following her on-off relationship with Justin Bieber – something Taylor is said to be unimpressed by – as well as rumours of a rift after Selena was seen hanging out with Kylie and Kendall Jenner.

We love seeing these two hanging out again and hopefully Taylor has convinced Selena to let go of Justin for good this time.

Types of girls you definitely want to avoid in friendship

Relationships

May 9, 2014

by Amber Saunders

1. The attention seeker

Every gang of girls has one of these, the one who always has to be centre of attention. She’s loud, and tries to be ‘like sooooo funny!’ Especially around boys, everything is about her, she has to look the best, and pull all the good lookin’ lads on a night out, her eyes turn green if the best looking guy in the pub is talking to your other friend. They’ll always act really dumb and be all ditsy and girly girl.

2. The clingy one

The one who is just slightly obsessed with you. She makes plans for you without even asking are you free, she texts you 24/7, just to let you know she’s eating Chinese and oh oh will you go for a run with her tomorrow to burn it off . She gets jealous if you make plans with other girls “like, why didn’t you invite me??” even if she doesn’t even know the girls.

3. Two faced

Every girl bitches, about everything and every one.. but some girls just take it to a whole new level. She will jump at the chance to bitch about a mutual friend, so what makes you think she doesn’t do the same to you? The Regina George kind who will tell you your top is just fab and as soon as your gone say “that’s the ugliest top I’ve ever seen” You don’t need these people in your life.

4. Drags you down

These type of friends are difficult, it’s like they do it so sneakily but they will break you. These kind of girls just hate you doing better than them, and will always try drag you down.

5. The Bad influence

Okay so your friend is a slut, doesn’t mean you have to be too. She wants you to go to house parties so she can get the shift with a ratio of 10:1 on boys to girls, and you’ve a boyfriend, sorry no. They try make you do all the bad stuff they do, regardless of what you want to do.

6. The copy cat

We’ve all been there, the one who has everything you have, wears everything your wear and does everything you do. No one wants to go out dressed like the Olsen twins.

7. The user

So you got a new car – and she’s back in your life again! There’s also the kind who literally uses you as a friend, and makes you do stuff with them because: “come on, no one else will come.” They will drop you like a plank of wood once something, or someone better comes along. They text you for the first time in weeks and how convenient those new boots you got would go perfect with her new dress.

8. Anything you can do I can do better

Having a friend like this can be exhausting. It’s like you’re in constant competition even if you don’t even know it.. you finally got that perfect matte shade of red you were looking for, but oh wait hers is MAC. Your going on holidays with your boyfriend and staying in a really cool hotel with.. “I know but OURS has a pool view room with stools in the water. Your doing sunbeds while she’s secretly doing an extra three a week on the sly just to be darker than you. #exhausting

9. Having to tip-toe around them

This type of friend probably doesn’t even realise they’re doing any harm, but they’re the most difficult friend to have. You literally have to watch EVERYTHING you say around them in case they go off on one. They ask for your opinion, and then get bad if you tell them something they don’t want to hear. You feel you have to think before you speak for the fear of: “whaaat?? what did you say??” They can also be an emotional mess, and cry at the slightest thing. Or the opposite and roar and shout at the smallest thing, either way.

10. The flirt

These girls aren’t really friends, they could be part of your group, or someone you hang around with from time to time, but you wouldn’t trust them as far as you’d throw um’. You already know they’ve slept with your friend’s boyfriend and is seemingly proud of it, so what makes you think she wouldn’t jump at the chance to get up on yours? She uses Snapchat like a porn site, and craves attention off all your male friends, It’s ok to be worried if she’s constantly texting your boyfriend ‘for a lift’.

How to mend a broken friendship

Relationships

Mar 31, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Having a fight with your best friend can be really hard for you both.

Whether it was yesterday or last year, if you still want to keep that friendship there are some things you can do.

You’ll be back to watching America’s Next Top Model in onesies eating cereal from the box together in no time!

1. Forgive and forget
There is no point in attempting to heal a friendship if you are still angry and resentful. If you accept the apology, you need to mean it. Make sure you actually want this friendship before you go ahead.

2. Apologise
If you are in the wrong, apologise.

3. Break the ice
Don’t bombard her by appearing on her doorstep, she might still be mad. Instead, choose a form of communication she can get back to you when she is ready. Email, text, Facebook message etc.

4. Start slow
If the fight was particularly nasty with one side hurt, take things slow. Go for a coffee once a week and try not to address the situation if it has already been resolved. Don’t drag it out more than needs be.

5. Give her space
This might be hard to accept but perhaps she has decided she doesn’t want to be your friend anymore. You need to respect any decision she makes as if it were your own.

3 steps towards building a new and healthy relationship

Relationships

Mar 5, 2014

by Amber Saunders

When starting a new relationship, it’s always a good idea to start off slowly. No matter how much you want to rush into things, just take each day at a time.

Remember, you have all the time in the world and the slower the pace, the longer you’ll last.

Step 1: Stay rational
In the early stages of a new relationship, we have unrealistic expectations. We think we know everything about our lover and we imagine qualities in them that mightn’t even exist.

Tip: Think with your head as well as your heart.

Step 2: Set the standards
Sometimes we tend to turn a blind eye to the behaviors we don’t like in a man because we are scared to speak up.

Tip: If you don’t like something, let him know from the get go.

Step 3: Build a friendship
The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on friendship. So it’s important to spend time outside the bedroom so you can get to know each other.

Tip: Go for walks, cook together, hang out – it’s endless really.