If you’re a fan of HBO series, Girls, then chances are you’ve wondered what our four New York ladies and their abundance of emotional baggage would be like on the silver screen.
The answer to that question is, as we all know, ‘amazing’.
Here are just a few reasons why we need Hannah Horvath and her motley crew to do their dysfunctional thing in a cinema near us soon.
1. We might get more than a three minute rap out of Marnie.
She has so much more to share with us, right?
2. We may find out exactly why Shoshanna doesn’t love her grandmother.
It’s been bugging us for years.
3. Maybe Jessa or Shoshanna will be ‘the wound’ in the movie version.
Ooooh.
4. Maybe Marnie and Charlie will finally have their ‘little brown babies’ together.
Well, we can dream!
5. We might find out what else ‘all adventurous women’ do.
We need to know so we can be a big, brave, adventurous one, right?
6. We might just find out if Hannah truly is the 'voice of her generation'.
Although, we kind of already know.
7. We'll definitely learn if liking someone’s 'quirky online presence' will make up for passing them an STD.
Who doesn’t need schoolin’ on that matter?
8. Maybe Hannah will discover that the point of friendship is to be 'interested in what your friends have to say.'
That'd be handy.
9. Maybe Jessa and Marnie will finally convince Hannah to wash her forehead before a big night out.
Despite Jessa thinking she doesn't want to.
10. Perhaps Hannah will learn how to behave at funerals.
Not wearing make-up shouldn't be a big deal, thousands of women do it every day – so can we!
That doesn't mean it's always easy though *sob*
Here are the thoughts we have on those days we decide to go make-up free:
1. "Ugh, I should probably get up and put on some make-up…zzzz"
2. "Oh crap – I slept in! Ah, feck it, I'm confident enough to go bare faced. I am a naturally beautiful woman – you hear me world?!"
3. "See, this isn't so bad…oh my God, is that?! It is! Quick turn around he didn't see you, he didn't see you!"
4. "That guy on the LUAS is giving me really strange looks, does he think I look like an alien without mascara? I KNEW I looked weird with no mascara on. Dammit"
5. Girl in work: "Oh, are you ok? You look SO tired"
You: *Bursts into tears and runs into toilet*
Despite the ups and downs of the day, those extra few minutes in bed cannot and will not be underestimated. Zzzzzz….
1. “I wonder if she’ll be there”
Discussing if THAT girl you don’t like will show her face tonight and having a bit of a bitch in general.. It’s a girl thing.
2. “Do you think they’ll search my bag or can I keep my vodka in there?”
A difficult decision, do you take the chance that the bouncers will be sound and not search your bag or do you down it in the queue before you go in?
3. “Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots”
Usually chanted, but deeply regretted the following morning…
4. “Is my tan ok? look at my knees”
Girl problems mean that false tan is unfortunately sometimes essential and even if you’re an expert at putting it on, the elements will probably ruin it… Sigh.
5. The lost phone scare
That moment when you look in your bag and your phone is nowhere in sight, you have a nervous breakdown while frantically searching your bag before you realise it’s in your bra.
6. OMG THIS IS OUR SONG
Your friends get dragged to the dance floor to strut your stuff to ‘your song’ and you sing your little heart out. It’s more than likely a Beyonce song… 90% of the girls in the room also think it’s their song too
7. “I wish I wore flats”
As the night goes on you realise wearing heels (as usual) was not your best decision, your feet hurt so much and at this stage you’re considering going barefoot.
8. “Is he good looking?"
You 100% rely on your friends at this moment to ensure it is not your intoxicated state or desperateness clouding your usually impeccable judgement
9. Random DMCs with the crying girl in the bathroom
Without fail there is always that one girl in the bathroom crying her eyes out over losing her friends/ phone/ money or after having a fight with her boyfriend or just guys being dicks in general, so you prepare your ‘He’s not worth it speech’ while you wait for your friend to finish up.
10. Becoming best friends with other drunk girls in the bathroom
It is very true when they say if girls acted like they do when they’re drunk in nightclub toilets all the time the world would be a better place. It’s nice to have friendly chats with them and get them to take full length pictures of you and your friends.
…Or silently fearing the impatient aggressive girl who starts banging on the toilet doors!
11. “I’m so over him”
Declaring to the world how over him you are and how you don’t care about how he’s liking other girl’s pictures on Facebook…
12. “Do you think I should text/call him?”
When you’re drunk, calling or texting your ex seems like such a fabulous idea…blame the tequila
13. Remember when..
Reminiscing on all the other adventures you’ve shared in the past
14. “Where are we going for food after this?”
Intense conversations about what you’re going to eat on the way home…
15. “Take a selfie for Snapchat”
We’re girls and selfies are a way of life…Snapchat stories are essential on a night out
Men sometimes take us too literally – we often don' say what we mean. Okay, maybe that makes it our fault. Here is a list of things women say in an argument that can often throw the opposite sex.
1. "It’s not what you said, it’s the way you said it"
We realise now we may have over-reacted but we're hardly going to admit that are we?
2. "Do What You Want!"
You better do exactly what you think you should do and most definitely NOT what you want.
3. "I Don’t Care What You Do"
We really do care.
4. "I’m Sorry You Feel That Way"
Ya, sorry you feel the wrong way.
5. "I Don’t Want to Talk About It"
Your move punk.
6. "Typical!"
She’s being thinking you’re a bit of an eejit for a while now
7. "How Can You Not See Why I’m Mad?"
Do I have to cry for you to realise that?
8. "I’m Not Mad, I’m Just Upset"
The girlfriend equivalent of when a parent says: "We're not mad, just a little disappointed."
9. Just be Sorry. "BUT YOU’RE NOT SORRY, STOP LYING."
Are you…are you? SMILING?! Get out now.
10. "It’s Fine."
You may as well move out because it is sooooo not fine.
It's not all cocktails and spray tans – there are some really annoying things about going on a girls night out…
1. The pressure of getting ready
While we're excited about our night out, getting ready and choosing our clothes can be SO annoying.
2. Irish Weather ruining our style..literally
Quickly doing a make-up session in the back seat of the taxi before disembarking from a vehicle filled with merry girls. And of course, with the inevitabilities of Irish weather, a massive squall of wind comes and sticks your coiffured hair to your lip-gloss. This may seem trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it’s not a good look prior to making your main entrance.
3. Do you know who I am?
Strutting up to the very top of the queue, despite there being an evident and lengthy group of punters waiting to get in. The personality drink you just indulged in at pre-drinks empowers you with the audacity to do so. However, your self- assumed celebrity status is met with the reprimanding words of the bouncer to join the queue with the rest of your peasant counterparts – ‘end of the queue love.’
4. Toilet formalities
Straight to the toilets to be met with another large queue and some awful girls banging on the cubicle door like you’re under attack, urging you to ‘hurry up’ (okay, in reality that may be spoken with some expletives). However, you can’t hurry up because there’s about four of your mates shoved into the same cubicle having an absolute DMC.
5. Oh no you did not!
You’ve finally fought your way to the bar besieged by a profusion of people. Having received your drink, you turn and make for the dance floor when some girl steps on your toe. I mean it when I say there is possibly no other pain in the world quite like it. An utter sense of rage descends upon you.
6. Feeling like the bag lady
Being on a cheap one, or in other words being so frugal you can’t spare some change to put your coat in the cloakroom, thus you’re condemned to lugging it around for the night – effectively ruining your entire outfit and disenabling you to ooze any sense of coolness while creeping through the club. You don’t see Carrie Bradshaw bearing the burden of an anorak coat in a high-end LA nightclub do you?
7. Hey Mister DJ!
Surely we all love some classic oldies or a good chart song, but when the same music is played on every night out, it almost drives you to drink more just to drown out the harsh reality that NEYO is playing for the sixth time in a row.
8. Wearing heels is a workout, forget about squats!!
If a nightclub has too many unnecessary staircases, your night begins to feel more like an actual work out more than anything else. Sporting killer heels alone constitutes exercise, and this is something we females are willingly to sacrifice within reason. However, clambering the steps is potentially both dangerous and ludicrous! Elevators are key..
Hmm, so you've been friends for years or else it's a new friendship – but you can't help thinking she might not actually be that nice…
Here are the signs that"friend" is actually much more of a frenemy.
1. You’re the Butt End of all her Jokes
You have become the punchline of all her jokes. Look, we all have that one friend that gets way more slagging then the rest but there has to be a limit. She goes out of her way to make sure you know exactly where your place is.
2. They Can Give It But Can’t Take It
Slagging matches are always good fun but if they only go one way then they tire easily. She is in her element when the spot light is on you but as soon as you turn it back at her, she goes into a huff and tries to make you feel guilty about making fun of her so you, in turn apologize.
3. She Always Points Out Your Faults
She knows what you’re self conscious of so she uses it to make sure you stay in your place. She’ll start the sentence with, ‘I’m not being a b**** or anything, but…’ Or ‘no offence, but..’ If there’s a ‘but’ in the sentence you know where it’s going to go.
4. Back Handed Compliments
This is pretty much used in combination with the pointing out of your faults. She compliments you, you say thanks, and then you realise what she said.
‘I love your hair like that, it really takes the attention off your nose’
‘Awe thanks, wait what?’
5. She’s Disappears and Reappears
When you’re together, she gets really possessive for weeks at a time. She is constantly hanging off you and wanting to spend time with you but then she’ll disappear for another month. Any plans for coffee are rarely fulfilled.
6. She’s Completely Different Around Other People
When you're alone she’s actually grand but when you are with others, she’s a different person. If you’re with people she doesn’t really know, she gets nervous and she immediately falls back on insulting you for giggles.
7. She is Constantly Changing Friend Groups
Are you the only constant friend in her social circle? She goes through friends like it’s going out of fashion. It’s never just an acquaintance. When she makes a new friend, ‘she loves this girl’. It always ends in a fight and it’s ALWAYS the other person’s fault.
8. She is Always ‘One Upping’ You
If you have a sore finger, hers is about to fall off. Have a date with a boy? Some guy just asked for her hand in marriage.
9. She Has No Problem in Ditching You
If something better comes along, she has no problem in not meeting up with you and cancelling at a minutes notice.
10. Her Friendship is Like a Favour to You
You should be honoured. Like seriously, even just to be in her presence should be enough.
Girls creator and star, Lena Dunham has written about a painful experience she encountered while in college.
In Lena’s new book, Not That Kind Of Girl, she relates an incident in which a friend told her she [Lena] had been raped, to which she says she: “burst out laughing.”
She describes the encounter as “aggressive” and also says she required medical attention afterwards, knowing that something very bad had happened to her: “I knew that it wasn’t right and I knew in some way that this experience had been forced upon me.”
Lena says that it took her a long time to overcome the horrific incident: “It was a painful experience physically and emotionally. And one I spent a long time trying to reconcile.”
The successful writer also said that it took her a long time to be honest with herself about what had happened that night: “It wasn’t something that I was able to be honest about [at the time]. I was able to share pieces, but I sort of used the lens of humour, which has always been my default mode, to try to talk about it.”
Lena also said that although the chapter about the date rape was difficult for her, she knew it was important to share: "The chapter about date rape in the book was a really, really terrifying thing for me to put into the world."
We’re glad that Lena found the strength to talk about what had happened to her.
If you are affected by any of the issues in this article, please visit the Rape Crisis Centre.
Lena Dunham has amazing body confidence, as any fan of HBO’s Girls will know, but she wasn’t always so comfortable in her own skin.
In her autobiographical book Not That Kind of Girl, the actress reveals that she battled severe anxiety issues as a child – which still affect her today. “I really love my life, but I've kind of worn anxiety grooves into my brain,” she wrote. “It just doesn't always sound good in there."
Despite her relaxed attitude to nudity on Girls, Lena admits she went through a period of being seriously unhappy with her body. “When I got out of college I thought, 'What am I gonna do? No one's gonna hire me, I'm a fat girl,'” she said.
The star also confesses that during the first season of the show, she took her dieting to extremes, keeping a detailed food journal and greatly restricting her eating. As a result, she ended up being hospitalised with “crazy stomach pains.”
Describing the incident, Lena said, “It was basically revealed that I'd been just drinking laxative tea and coffee and smoking cigarettes and then eating weird foods at weird hours. I really messed myself up.”
Since meeting her “incredibly supportive” boyfriend, Fun guitarist Jack Antonoff, Lena says her body hang-ups have eased.
“I really feel good with my size now," she said. "It used to be when I went into a room with all thin women I felt like, what's wrong with me? Now I just feel special."
Remember a few months ago when you finally made the decision to ditch the boys and get a nice, clean house? A house where you could do your dissertation in peace, where the floorboards would be free of mousetraps, the bathrooms free of, well, plenty of things we don’t want to discuss?
The time has come and it’s going to be great. But all-girl houses have their own clichés too you know – give it a couple of weeks and we defy you not to tick off each and every one of these…
1. You constantly talk about baking but come home with supermarket cookies
2. Ditto doing your own version of Come Dine With Me, while continuing to microwave cottage cheese
3. Though your single housemate somehow finds time to cook a three course meal when their date/your hot cousin comes to stay
4. Every available surface is covered in drying underwear of the animal print/brightly-coloured Primark variety
(You save the good silk stuff for the radiator in your room).
5. Dream: Getting ready for nights out together, doing each other’s hair
Reality: Running off to separate rooms to fake tan and make up, then hollering up the stairs to discuss outfits
6. And that’s on a good day – usually it’s a full selfie/Whatsapp discussion to check they’re not wearing a similar dress before you can leave the room
7. Seminal housemate questions are not about bills. More like: ‘Are you wearing heels tonight?’ and the age-old, ‘are you going to bother with tights?’
8. You will wake up one morning to find a random guy eating (your) food in your kitchen wearing one sock, probably more than once. You’ll learn to go about your day as normal. He won't look like this:
9. At some point, your housemate’s boyfriend will move in. This will never be discussed. Quiet resentment for him, his muddy football boots and food-scavenging friends ensues
10. Reality shows reign supreme, regardless of how highbrow your degree subject is
11. Birthdays are taken pretty seriously
12. As is fancy dress
13. At some point, washing day will clash. This is what hell looks like
14. At least you’ll think that’s what hell looks like, until the plug gets clogged with hair that’s DEFINITELY not yours
15. Your clothes and shoes routinely go missing
16. At which point you’ll curse yourself for not living with guys
17. But then someone comes home with your favourite chocolate bar and does the hoovering so all is forgiven
18. There’ll be one girl who’s so busy they may as well not live there
19. And one hermit who only leaves the house for bread and cigarettes
20. You’ll attempt to be the housemate who lies somewhere in between
21. There is no escaping the drama
22. All will agree to keep the place spotless. All will forget this rule when hungry, tired, busy, dating someone, going home for the weekend or during exams
23. But group cleaning sessions with the Spice Girls blaring make the grime build-up worth it
24. Post night-out feasts are beyond epic
25. At some point, you will hate your housemate and/or your housemate will hate you. You will continue to pretend you are friends
26. Someone’s hot school friends will come to stay for the weekend. Your house will be taken over by guy friends you haven’t seen in weeks
27. And when they invite you over to theirs, you feel so grateful to live with girls you could cry
28. Because it might be catty, but there are no actual RATS. And someone will always want to cuddle and watch Friends
29. And you’ve got wine, crisps and dip at home. There’s always wine, crisps and dip…
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