The gym is very busy around this time of year, as people attempt to get some last minute abs before they go away for their two week sun holiday. Spending more time in the gym, you can observe certain types of people who share the floor with you, and grow to hate them.
The Grunter
Whether the weights are actually too heavy or they just want to make it look like they’re working ridiculously hard, there is absolutely no need to be grunting like a woman in her 37th hour of labour.
The Overly Sweaty Guy
People sweat different amounts, and I accept that, but why is it that the sweatier a person is, the less likely they are to wipe down a bench or a machine after they use it?
The Shouter
Self-motivation is really important in the gym, for obvious reasons. But it’s called self-motivation, meaning that it can be done inside your own head. There is absolutely no need to shout at yourself for everyone else to hear when you’re struggling to complete your set, or congratulate yourself once you have finished said exercise.
The Social Media Addict
I’m totally against any posting of pictures or checking in at the gym, but as long as you do it without disrupting anyone else I suppose it’s not that bad. Doing it while sitting at a machine, however, is not acceptable.
The Naked Changing Room Girl
We’re all for people being comfortable in their own skin, but we don’t want to see naked girls ambling around the changing room.
The Talker
In the changing room, or out in the reception area, by all means talk to as many strangers as you like. They might not be up for a chat, but it’s far less annoying for them than going up to them during an exercise that they’re probably struggling with enough without having someone trying to become their new best friend.
The ‘Expert’
No one has ever actually seen one of these people do any exercise. Instead, they prowl the gym floor looking for people who look like they might be struggling and providing some ‘helpful’ advice about how what they’re doing is wrong and what they should do to maximise their workout.
Warning: NEVER follow any advice you get from one of these people.
The Machine Hogger
Much like at a hotel on holiday, this person will put their towel on a machine and then wander off to the water fountain or something, as if they are the only person who wants to use this particular piece of equipment for the next 20 minutes.
The Poser
Mirrors are installed in a gym to allow you to see your form while doing an exercise, to avoid injury and maximise the effectiveness of the exercise. They are not there to tense your muscles or strike poses.
The Inconsiderate Asshole
Why is it so hard to put the free weights you were using back on the shelf where you found them?
The Beautiful People
It’s not really their fault that they’re distracting everyone of the opposite gender from whatever exercise they’re doing, but productivity just drop significantly when a particularly attractive person is in your eye-line.
The Inappropriately Dressed Person
I once saw a guy trying to do a workout in jeans and hiking boots. It annoyed me way more than it should have.
The Show Off
Doing some ridiculously complicated exercise that would be impossible for the average gym-goer just because they’ve practised it for six months straight. They’re also usually in pretty good shape, which is also annoying.
