HomeTagsPosts tagged with "insecurity"

insecurity

When it comes to spending a bit of time between the sheets with our partner of choice, there are usually a few things we're comfortable with. 

Whether that's indulging in a particular kink, or that fool proof I'm-definitely-going-to-come-from-this position, we know what we like. 

However, a recent study found that people avoid particular positions due to personal insecurities. 

When we're not feeling body confident or have performance anxiety, the position of choice can have a lot to do with it. 

Holding Back In Bed by Zava Med polled over 1,000 sexually active people about what made them uncomfortable during sex, and compiled a list of sex positions we're not into. 

Women were most turned off by 69-ing, while men cited standing up sex as their most avoided position. 

69-ing came a close second for men, with one quarter of men avoiding it.

With more than half of men and women feeling insecure about how their genitals look, it makes sense that this position can evoke anxiety for some. 

A further 20% of men bypass the Doggy style position, and the Kneeling wheelbarrow (we had to Google that one) was 19% of guy's performance Achille's heel. 

The results showed that partner-facing positions were avoided twice as often as positions where partners faced away from each other when one party involved felt insecure.

Women mostly avoided Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl and the Kneeling Wheelbarrow after 69-ing. 

While 69-ing was cited as the most uncomfortable position for insecure partners, the study found that 'sexual acts that focus on oral sex like 69 can actually help improve intimacy and communication between partners.'

The more you know…

Trending

An advert for lip fillers created by The Royal Tunbridge Wells Skin Clinic (RTWSkin) has been banned for supposedly encouraging young girls "irresponsibly" to get the cosmetic procedure.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) suggest that the ad insinuated that getting lip fillers are now "commonplace as getting your hair done", according to The Independent.

The advert, ran in Index Magazine, was targeted at young women and has been removed for normalising and presenting the cosmetic procedure as safe.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by rtwskin (@rtwskin) on

The ad read "Is your daughter taking an interest in lip fillers?" and claimed that the procedure was as common as a haircut.

RTWSkin director John Sheffield stated his surprise at the decision of the ASA to ban the advert; "I'm shocked at the attitude and conclusions". The ad drew complaints in October when it initially ran.

It stated: "Dermal fillers are very quickly becoming as commonplace as getting your hair done these days and even more so within the younger age group." It also wrote that mothers often bring their daughters in for the fillers.

It implied that parents are searching to "find somewhere safe and suitable" for their children's treatment, instead of saying no and pushing their daughters or sons to "go behind their backs, blindly searching for the cheapest practitioner without realising the risks".

According to the ASA, the ad made the impression that risks of lip fillers were associated only with unsuitable practitioners, and failed to illustrate the common risks of the surgery even with an experienced surgeon.

It added: "By presenting lip fillers as normal and safe… and something that responsible parents should support, the ad was irresponsible."

RTWSkin are claiming that a 20-year-old staff member wrote the ad, so was consulted about young women and their desire for altering their image.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by rtwskin (@rtwskin) on In a statement to the ASA, she stated her peer group was "vulnerable to the messages put out by reality TV shows and social media", and believed education and discussion of the topic was vital considering the amount of negative treatments being issued elsewhere.

Mr Sheffield said "many" young women and men attended the free consultation as a result of the ad, and about 30 percent of these people went for treatment. 

"In the vast majority of cases, we were able to satisfy the person that they did not need this procedure."

"We have received several commendations for our efforts to educate and were really quite shocked at the attitude and conclusions of the ASA."

Trending

Kendall Jenner has opened up to Allure about her self-esteem issues surrounding her acne and skincare routine since she was 14-years-old.

She only revealed to the world last month that she is a long-time sufferer of the skin condition which plagues mainly young teens around the world.

Taking to Instagram back in January, she wrote to her fans; "While there are much bigger problems happening in the world, suffering from acne for me was debilitating. It’s something that I’ve dealt with since I was a young teen and has caused me to feel anxious, helpless and insecure."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

She continued; "As humans, I don’t think we share our insecurities enough because we live in a time where being “perfect” is the standard. We curate our life online and pick the pretty moments to post. I’d like to show a younger generation that not everything is perfect."

Jenner's goal is to create a conversation surrounding image and insecurity; "I didn’t think I’d see the day where I would feel confident posting a makeup free picture. My goal is to open up a dialogue around skin positivity.

Now, she has stated that the online haters as well as her acne has made her cry for days in the past. We've all had a bit of a sob when a massive spot surfaces on the exact day you have an important event on, it's so cruel.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

She revealed more about her young life to Allure;

"I've always struggled with a bit of acne since I was around 14. It killed a lot of self-esteem and I had to really work past that." She is also a person who detests when her pimples are pointed out to her, as we all are.

A break-out at the Golden Globes caused her endless stress, saying, "I was feeling good about myself, and then when people say mean things I'm like, 'I know I have a zit. I know I'm breaking out. You guys don't have to keep pointing it out. I obviously see that, but let me live.'"

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

Those people are legit the worst. Rude, much?

She admitted; 

"I have cried endlessly for days because of things people have said to me, and I've had to become stronger through it. I mean, don't get me wrong: I am not superhuman. I definitely feel, and the things people say online are very hurtful."

We're happy for her that she's found a great skincare routine that works for her, and is starting the conversation. Young women are under such pressure to look picture perfect 24 hours a day.

Feature image: StyleCaster

Trending

by

Instagram is increasingly being told to take responsibility for the harmful effects of it's site on the mental health of young people.

Between celebrities endorsing weight-loss products which have no scientific backing, the NHS encouraging body-negative adverts to be banned, and the new sensitivity screens being put in place to prevent graphic violence and self-harm being depicted; Insta is a dangerous place.

Yet, we cannot deny that selfie culture and self-branding through social media has become just a normal part of our everyday life. Me, myself and Instagram has taken over, and young people growing up today assume it's perfectly normal to try to look perfect.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by  (@khloekardashian) on

It's so prevalent in society to share the highlights of ourselves and desperately emulate others who we assume have 'better' lives, which writers such as Matt Haig have emotionally discouraged.

FaceTuning images to blur seeming 'imperfections' such as stretchmarks, wrinkles, spots, freckles, teeth, smiles, body hair, even elbow wrinkles or unwanted curves is the new normal, according to our society.

Having flaws is deemed unhealthy, and the notion of 'narcissism' or vanity is no more.

Now Rankin is trying to counteract the idea of editing ourselves in a new photo series, and it's beautiful.

The amazing photographer is attempting counteract self-editing, by showing people just how damaging the effects of social media can be.  His photo series, aptly named Selfie Harm, was launched last week on Instagram.

The renowned artist captured portrait shots of 15 teens and handed power to them and their filter apps, asking them to edit the retouched image until they felt it was 'social media ready'.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by @rankinarchive) on

He commented;

“Social media has made everyone into their own brand. People are creating a two-dimensional version of themselves at the perfect angle, with the most flattering light, and with any apparent flaws removed.”

“This is a new, enhanced reality, a world in which teenagers can alter themselves digitally within seconds. Mix this with the celebrities and influencers flaunting impossible shapes with impossible faces and we’ve got a recipe for disaster," he attested.

The photographer shows images of youth and natural beauty which massively contrast with the newly filtered, edited versions. It's shockingly easy for the young models to blur the lines of reality, but what is 'perfect' in a world such as this?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by  (@rankinarchive) on

He wrote on Instagram;

“People are mimicking their idols, making their eyes bigger, their nose smaller and their skin brighter, and all for the social media likes. “It’s just another reason why we are living in a world of FOMO, sadness, increased anxiety and Snapchat dysmorphia."

"It’s time to acknowledge the damaging effects that social media has on people’s self-image," he concluded.

The visible differences and changes made allow the teenagers and subjects to transform their entire identity, so much so that their natural state is completely erased. There are smaller noses, smooth complexions, wider eyes and lips, everything you can imagine.

Interestingly, the photographer notes that most of the models preferred their original image, but it's still disturbing to witness the power of filters. These edits can convince people that they're regular image isn't good enough to be seen.

It's becoming harder to discern what's real and what's fake; soon the idea of reality on social media could vanish altogether.

Feature image: Rankin Instagram/Fashionista

Trending

Hailey Bieber has anxieties, just like the rest of us.

The model and new wifey to Justin Bieber himself opened up to her fans via her Instagram account last night, vowing to get far more open about her troubles online.

"Stepping into 2019 I want to be more open, I want to be more open about the things I struggle with, and be able to be more vulnerable," she described in the post, below.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

"I’m a 22 years old, and the truth is no matter how amazing life may look from the outside I struggle…"

Battles with confidence appear to be a daily dilemma for young women, with society continuously placing pressure to look perfect on their shoulders.

"I’m insecure, I’m fragile, I’m hurting, I have fears, I have doubts, I have anxiety, I get sad, I get angry," she continued. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

Hailey's honesty revolves around her self-esteem, describing how every single day is a "confidence battle";

"I have had more days than I can count where I’ve found myself scrolling through Instagram comparing myself, comparing my looks, feeling like I’m not good enough feeling like I lack so many things and really struggling to be confident in who I am because I constantly feel like I’m just not good enough." 

"I'm a human.. I'm a young woman, I'm learning who I am and, it's REALLY FREAKING HARD. It's hard finding who you are, but what's even harder is being picked apart and compared to other women while trying to do that," she opined.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

Hailey explained at the conclusion of her post that she's not "writing this for a pity party," rather for her fans to see their own beauty inside and out.

"It would be incredible if other young girls and women could find it in themselves to lift each other up, to stop making other women who are struggling JUST LIKE THEM, feel incompetent and less than," she asked for her fans to see the positive side.

"We ALL have flaws, and that will never change. What I do know is, God made us individuals for a reason, with our own beauty, our own personalities, and our own story because there's a specific plan and purpose for each and every human created and he makes no mistakes!!"

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

The famous model has taken social media breaks before, as well as opening up about the difficulties of Instagram negativity and trolling;

"Whenever I take breaks from it I feel so much better so much happy as a person.. the second I come back on I get immediate anxiety, I get sad and I get worked up," she typed in one of the images.

The constant media attention and focus on her appearance unsurprisingly takes its toll.

"The negativity screams so loud."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

Baldwin has spoken about the impact of social media on her relationship to Sorry singer Justin Bieber;

 "It's hard to focus on your well being and mental health when each time you open Instagram someone is tearing apart your job, or your relationship or essentially any of the things in your life that are positive."

She finished, "I won't let people make me feel like I'm doing something wrong by enjoying my life and being happy."

You go girl, everyone deserves to feel confident and positive in their own skin, no matter how big a celebrity they are.

Trending

For those of us interested in it, sex can be completely fab. There are days when you're feeling absolutely, amazingly sexy and you cannot wait to get between the sheets with your partner(s) of choice. 

However, there are some days that our insecurities hold us back from enjoying our saucy encounters to the fullest. 

Body image can be a huge thing for both men and women when stripping off for sexy time.

A study conducted by Zava Med found that there are certain things that make us feel insecure and take us away from the romantic moment. 

Both men and women found that their weight was on their minds just sex. 

Almost three-quarters of 5,000 women in the study felt that their weight was an insecurity during sex, along with 67% of men. 

55% of men were hung-up on their genitals, as were 52% of women. 23% of women also worries about how their boobs looked during sex. 

All bodies are beautiful guys and gals – and it seems our partners know that. 

Only 12% of men and 9% of women allow their partner's genitals to bother them, so that leaves almost 90% of men and women out there who aren't shallow when it comes to genital appearance. 

As well as specific body parts, some felt self conscious about their sexual performance. 

The performance anxiety impacted 675 of men and 51% of women studied, with men being 16% more likely to feel the pressure.

'This worry appears to be largely unfounded, though, as only 35 percent of men and 29 percent of women felt bothered by their partner's sexual performance,' Zava Med  found. 

Trending