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Many of us were in first year of college at one stage, here are some of the things you will remember feeling as the Leaving Cert results fast approach next Wednesday: 

1. “I’m a genius!”

Results are out and you’ve managed to get the points for the course you wanted. You get accepted to you’re first choice on the CAO.

2. Excitement

I’m so freakin’ excited!

You’re finally off to the big smoke…

3. Nerves

 

It’s moving time. The car is loaded up and you're ready for your college experience. 

4. “Who’s this eejit?”

Meeting your new house mates for the first time is strange. You’re thrown into a pokey apartment with 4+ strangers; space is tight, anything left in a common room becomes public property and if you’re not used to sharing then prepare to have your patience tested. You’ll soon be able to label each house mate: the quirky one, the musical one, the annoying one, the sex mad one, the party animal, the stoner, the book worm. If you’re wondering who the weird one is but can’t figure it out, it’s you.

5. FREEDOM!

Orientation is a boooooore. Sure, you find out where stuff is and you’ll probably make a friend or two, but this week is nothing compared to the freshers party week which follows … Can anyone say “TOGA”?!

6. The alcoholic phase.

Tesco vodka and gin are a thing of the past thank God now that we are older and wiser…ahem. 

7. SEEEEEEXXXXX!

For many of us, college was where we became more in tune with our sexuality. 

8. “9 am lecture? Good luuuuuuck!”

Fast forward four years and this may be your biggest regret. 

9. Being poor is the new rich

You’re broke, living off Koka noodles and black coffee with any spare cash going on whatever nights out you can afford. College will make you appreciate money soooo much more than you ever did before.

10. Nakedness

There's always that one housemate who just cannot keep their clothes on. You've seen their bum more than your own at this stage. 

11. “Oh No … I fancy my housemate"

If it doesn’t happen to you, it’ll happen to your friend. It’s pretty hilarious until one of the people concerned inevitably has to hit the road. 

12. Availing of all of the discounts

Ah how we miss all of those discounts… We still chance our arm, of course, but they always cop the 2012 on our card *dammit*

13. Protesting!

Cutting student grants? Protest! Price of pints in the SU has gone up? Protest! Don’t know what everyone is giving out about? Protest!

14. Clubs and Societies

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The ones you’ll join directly relate to the amount of free stuff you will get from them.

15. Boring Weekends

Your Saturday nights consist of bad TV and eating your feelings.

16. Kleptomania

 

Why do you have a traffic cone, a shopping trolley, 3 wet floor signs, drip mats and road signs in your living room? Because you can, that’s why.

17. Panic

Exams are looming, you’ve done feck all for the whole semester. A few all nighters, pass by compensation, be grand!

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It’s that time of year again folks.

The sun is shining, children are playing and students are finishing exams in anticipation of another fantastic summer!

There is one section of Irish society that everybody simultaneously pities and laughs at, and we’ve all been there. The Leaving Certificate seems a distant memory now, but remember how you felt during yours? It was an unhappy time for all.

Here are our worst memories from the Leaving Cert.

1. Little children laughing hysterically outside your window.
Trying to cram the final few Shakespeare quotes into your head, while the kids on your road boot a ball off your garden wall and you think that they’re conspiring against you with their over-the-top laughing.

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 2. Studying in the best weather the country has seen all year.
The sunlight beams into your room when you’re studying and penetrates the exam hall during your LC subjects.

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 3. Having a meltdown the day before
Doing all the preparation you can physically muster, only to clasp your hands to your head, grit your teeth and have a private nervous breakdown now that you’ve realised that your time has come.

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 4. Highlighting 95% of the words in your study notes.
“If I highlight these words, I’ll remember them easier.” Yeah, but it doesn’t work if you highlight the whole page.

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 5. Shooting a look of disgust at anyone who asks for more paper.
“Please sir, may I have some more?” A simultaneous rendition of rolling eyes, loud sighs and ignorant tutting echoes around the exam hall. “Tosser.”

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 6. Banging your head against the desk because nothing is going in.
You have done it at least a couple of times. Whether you’re studying alone in your room or trying to remember something from two weeks ago while in your exam.

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 7. Trying to fit your prepared English essay into a totally irrelevant question.
Why do all the questions you prepare for fail to appear on the exam paper?! You prepared one essay and are determined to fit that into the exam question, whether it makes sense or not!

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 8. The cool dude in every school who leaves 30 minutes into the exam
It’s half past 9. Queue the cool guy who sat there for 30 minutes chewing on his pen. He hands an empty sheet of paper to the examiner and struts his way as slow and  loudly as possible to the exit door with a cigarette in his mouth.

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 9. “Leigh anois go curamach ar do scrudphaipear na treoracha agus na ceisteanna a ghabhan le cuid A.” Beeeeeeeeeee
The most irritating noise any student will ever hear. And why is EVERYONE called Máire and Sean Óg? We get it, “as Gaeilge.”

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 10. Your hand feeling like it’s about to fall off.
After completing paper two in your English exam, your hand feels like it has given up. Blue ink mashed down the side of your hand, and it struggles to put your pens back into your pencil case. It looks like it’s for the bin.

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 11. All your friends are out celebrating while you stay in and study for chemistry next Friday.
“Why ME?” The question springs to mind. Because you picked an awkward subject and strayed away from the pack. And now you’re paying the price.

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 12. Finishing early and giving up in your last exam.
“What’s the point anymore?” You don’t care, you give up. You’ve had enough. You beckon the examiner over with a sharp whistle and leave the exam hall behind forever. You’re finally done – where’s the offy?

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The Leaving Cert was a time of stress, fear and boredom with parents constantly giving out. There are many instances that come to mind and many people that irritated us. Let’s all take a stroll back down memory lane with 30 Leaving Cert Memories Every Student Has.

1. The Guy/Girl That Cheats
Whether it is with their Nokia 3310, the back of their calculator or on their legs, this person has some serious balls. They are going to cheat and can lie better than anyone else. The whole class will know about it and be secretly praying that they get caught, but, they never will. If they are good at it that is.

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2. The Eavan Boland
There is pain we have all felt by Eavan Boland not coming up on the English exam paper. It was bad enough that they did it to my class of 2010 but to do it the year after as well was pure evil. The gasp when students opened the English Paper II to see she wasn’t there. Queue the hate campaign against Eavan Boland herself.

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3. The English Paper Two Given Out Early
There is always some disastrous teacher that gives out the wrong exam paper. One school gave out English paper II instead of One. Hence, utter panic and a new paper being drawn up, and, English Paper II being at the end of exams.

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4. The Freakout
There is always one girl or guy that panics during an exam. There will be tears, it will be over the top and very distracting. There is nothing you can do about it now, so, get on with it.

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5. The Teacher That Stops The Whole Class To Help A Student
You will always have this at least once during your Leaving Cert. Someone in the exam hall will have a query about one of the questions. The teacher will stop the whole class and ask who understands it and can they explain it.

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6. The Toilet Fiend
There is always one person constantly in the toilet. Maybe they are a nervous pee-er? Or else they have a book stashed away in the bathroom. Either or, it is annoying and suspicious to everyone except the teacher.

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7. The Person Who Asks The Same Question All The Time
Every time an exam paper is handed out this classmate asks the blatantly obvious. Whether it is how long you have for the exam or what the exam code is – check the front of the paper mate.

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8) The Comfort Eater
There is always a few in the class who comfort eats through exams – hell we all did it. Food is the only thing stopping us from living this hell, so, let us enjoy it.

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9. The Flirt
This guy or girl fancies the teacher who is supervising. They think the teacher is staring at them from start to finish. Other classmates notice them sitting up straight, chewing their pencil in a seductive manner and winking. What can I say – it is a strange world we live in.

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10. The Rake
There will be one student in the class who has just lost the run of things. Stress makes them eat less and they are getting thinner and thinner. Only good thing about this is once the exams are over, he or she can gorge until their heart’s content.

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11. The Nerd
We all know who The Nerd was in the Leaving Cert. They excelled in every subject and got top of the class. I was so envious of The Nerd in my class and whoever says they weren’t jealous, was lying.

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12. The Person Who Pretends They Don’t Study
There is always one person who says they don’t study. And, if you aren’t up to date with class gossip you may well and truly believe them. Then comes results day and they have gotten all A’s – enter your face of shock.

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13. The Person Who Doesn’t Give A Sh*t
There are people in class who generally don’t give a sh*t and they need people around them who don’t either. They will roll their eyes at people who study and get upset about their grades because “why would you bother?.”

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14. The Person Who Isn’t Allowed Out
There will always be a couple of people in your class who’s parents are so so strict. They won’t be allowed out once September hits and they will resent all who do. And, of course, they fight constantly with their parents and have over the top self pity.

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15. The Person Who Chooses Not To Go Out
There will be a few in your class who say they aren’t allowed out who genuinely are. They choose not to and just want to focus on their studies. These people will be laughing the day of results.

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16. The Girl/Guy Who Goes Out The Night Before An Exam
There will be one mad arse that goes out the night before an exam and is in a hoop the next day. Whether they are prepared for the subject or not – they really shouldn’t have done it.

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17. The Slob
The B.O, the hair piled up on top of their head and the smelly clothes. Their is always one guy or girl who completely loses the run of themselves. They don’t care how they look or smell and those black circles tell you they have been up all night studying.

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18. The Try Hard
There will always be someone who tries that bit too hard at exam time. Maybe their boyfriend or girlfriend is picking them up or they fancy someone in the class. But, that excessive hair gel or make up is making fellow students uncomfortable.

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19. The Fake Tan Faux Pas
It is the last day of exams and there is always someone with the blotchy, orange fake tan. They could have got it done or used the Penneys fake tan wipe one too many. They are glowing, and to be honest, they actually love the way they look.

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20. The Scaredy Cat
This guy or girl is bricking it. They are one question away from having a panic attack. Anyone who asks them what they know or tells them a random thing that might come up, will be in for a rude awakening.

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21. The Back Rowers
There will be a group of people who sit at the back for the whole of the Leaving Cert. They love it there and they feel more at home. It can be very territorial back there.

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22. The Front Rowers
Like The Back Rowers, these students just love the front. Maybe it is because they are closer to the clock or maybe they like to be the closest to the door. If it is assigned seating, and they get put in the front, there will be utter excitement.

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23. The Break Times
Some students spend it studying, others spend it going to the local chippy. Breaks are like gold dust and it is up to you what you do with it.

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24. The Late Goer
There is a student who always arrives late to exams. There are various excuses each time. The Late Goer doesn’t know what it is like to be on time and they just don’t care.

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25. The Lucky Charm
They will have a troll, weird teddy or lucky number. They think this is the only thing that will get them through the exam. Some Lucky Charms are weirder than others, it really depends.

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26. The Pencil Sharpner
There is someone who insists on sharpening all their pencils during the exam. No one knows why and as far as we know you use a blue or black pen. Sure, we will let them at it.

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27. The Foot Tapper
It is annoying, it is shameful and it is pure evil. Why would you tap your foot behind my desk? That is just plain rude.

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28. The Wobbly Desk
There is always one that gets stuck with The Wobbly Desk and no one gives two sh*ts about it. They try and get the supervisors attention but all they do is give them an extra sheet of paper. This can be highly irritating and soul destroying.

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29. The Past Pupil
There will always be a few past pupils that come back to repeat the Leaving Cert. They are very calm and slightly cocky because they have Institute notes.

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30. The Yes Man
This person opens their exam paper and lets out an almighty ‘YESSS’ when they see that they studied the right thing. It is annoying for those who are yelling out “CRAAAAP”.

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