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lessons

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It’s true that Sex and the City taught us a lot about life and love.

However, not all of it was beneficial. Sure, we didn’t need sex ed growing up because it taught us all we need to know, but we have been left with some seriously unrealistic expectations when it comes to the love game…

Here are just a few of the unrealistic things Sex and the City has taught us to expect in love:

If you blatantly cheat, your love will still be there waiting for you
And years later, you’ll STILL break up with him…damn it Samantha

The biggest douche in your love life will turn out to be the love of your life
We bloody well hope not

AND he’ll follow you to Paris to proclaim his love
Ahahaha, is that a joke? He still asks for petrol money

Getting dumped is definitely a good enough excuse to get yourself arrested
We know it was a Post-It but it’s not going to work, Carrie

You will meet ‘The One who got away’ years later and realise the douche really is the one for you
Nope…

If it's true love, he will build you the wardrobe of your dreams
Just be lucky he turns up to the wedding, ya?

Men will just arrive outside your door in limos waiting to take you anywhere you like
Still waiting. They're probably stuck in traffic.

 

 

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Intermission, starring Colin Farrell and Cillian Murphy, was released over ten years ago now, but still remains a firm Irish favourite.

The film which spawned a whole host of weird and wonderful sayings has always flown slightly under the radar, but those that have seen it recognise it for the wonder that it truly is.

Edgy, vulgar, uproariously funny, and most of all, quintessentially Irish; this is one of those time and again flicks. And most importantly? It taught us so, so much.

The Lessons

If John hadn’t shared his culinary wisdom with Lehiff and had him sample a little sauce-flavoured tea, we’d still be saying ‘That’s delicious’ instead of ‘Dat’s delish, man.’

Doesn’t bear thinking about.

If Lehiff hadn’t opened up about his love of the wok, we’d still only be using our mam’s frying pans.

How embarrassing.

If Sally hadn’t been dumped by her boyfriend and neglected her appearance, we might never have learned the word ‘ronnie’.

How dumb would we look?

If John and Oscar hadn’t tried to cheat the system and clock back into work early, we would never have known what TCB meant.

We’re forever in your debt, Mr. Henderson.

If John hadn’t dumped Deirdre in a bid to find out her real feelings, we’d still be in the dark about the origin of the word ‘blagard’.

Then where would we be?

If Lehiff hadn't scorned Detective Jerry Lynch's taste in music, we'd have never learned whether we had the requisite Celtic soul or not.

Could you have slept? We couldn't.

If Noeleen hadn't asked for gift vouchers in a department store, we might never have known that this alone is a mortal sin.

We were so clueless.

Thank you, Intermission. You have truly nourished us.

 

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If only there was a guide to being a woman.  A list of things that every modern, 21st century girl should know how to do, no questions asked, no second thoughts. Well ask no more ladies, for here it is. Go forth and conquer.

1. How To Walk In Heels

There are two types of women in this world. Those who live in heels and those who look on them with a mixture of fear and loathing. That said, being able to swag a little in heels is something that every woman should learn how to do. You’ll never know when it could come in handy…

2. How To Stop Street Harassment

Even in the modern, equal values world of today, there are many, many men who feel that openly harassing women on the street is acceptable. So the next time it happens to you, stop and turn the tables on them. “Nice arse sweetheart”, should do nicely.

3. How To Embrace Your Natural Self

Yes, make-up is great. It helps to embrace and highlight what God has given us. It makes us photo ready and fabulous (in our eyes) However, far too many women are far too dependent on make-up and need to learn to go. Wear less make-up more often!

4. How To Control Your Hormones

If you turn into an axe wielding maniac once a month, then perhaps now is the time to learn to control that anger. Easier said than done, yes, but simple things like running and eating well can all help to control it. It’s worth a little time investment.

5. How To Out-Wit Any Man

Being witty, smart, sharp and sarcastic is a skill that every woman should possess. 

6. How To Drive

Never depend on someone else to drive you around. It’s not even about owning your own car, even though that is clearly something we all want, but just knowing how to get yourself or anyone for that matter, from A-B, is an underrated skill at best.

7. How To Dress Appropriately

For any occasion. Buy a smart dress, blazer, tailored trousers and decent shoes and you’ll have pretty much covered all basis. Just never, ever attend a funeral in sequins. Ever.

8. How To Live Healthily

Learn how to cook an egg, wash some lettuce and go for a jog every once in a blue moon and you’re half way there sunshine. Just remember that McDonald's and the couch does not a healthy body make.

9. How To Be Independent

No woman out there should ever utter that she ‘needs’ a man. Don’t get me wrong, men are great and all but technically, the only thing we need men for is reproducing. What you need, is to learn to do things for yourself. Even if it’s something as simple as eating by yourself, do it.

10. How To Shop In A Pharmacy

You all know what I’m talking about here. You don’t have time to pop into the giant sized Boots in town, so instead you pop into your local pharmacy for all of your tampon/ contraceptive/ hairy needs. But instead of buying exactly what it is you need, you load up on hair clips, nail varnish and band aids, as if, somehow, it’s going to distract from all of the other stuff. It won’t.

11. How To Cut Bad Influences From Your Life

This can take the form of bad habits such as smoking, excess drinking or drug use, or people who are negatively influencing your life. 

12. How To D.I.Y.

Pick up that toolbox and get to grips with the hammer and nails. No, that was not a metaphor for anything dirty, in case that was what you were thinking. We're talking about learning how to put up a shelf, hang a picture, fix that broken shower curtain. Rock that tool belt girl.

13. How To Get What You Really Want

Whether it’s getting that promotion or getting the object of your affections, you must learn how to get exactly what you want in this life, by whatever means necessary. To do so with respect, manners and the acceptable measure of force, is something that every woman should learn how to do. Without question.

14. How To Not Sweat The Small Stuff

Obviously, there are things you should most definitely care about. Your health, your family, your career. Things that you should not give a shit about include, caring what people think of you, cellulite, drunk texting your ex, not wanting to settle for the first man that comes along, being single and happy or being loved up and happy. Let the haters hate and you’ll be so much happier in your own skin. Promise.

via our content partner CT

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There's certain things girls with an older sister always learn way before their counterparts. That's why we love them! 

 1. Always Choose Between Showing Legs Or Your Chest. Never Both
Such an important lesson to learn if you don't want to look back on photos of that teenage disco with major embarrassment. 

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2. When Make Up is Too Much Make Up
Lips or eyes. You are a lady, not a lady of the night.

 

3. No One Will Ever Have Your Back Quite Like Your Sister
They don’t care who the person is.  If someone messes with their little sister, you are f*cked. Better than an older brother aswell because they can be bitchy too!

 

4. Your First Break Up Won’t Be Your Last
You might have felt like the world was ending when you were no longer each others other halves on BEBO. However not only is your sister there to help you through this difficult time, she is there to let you know that it will happen again and again but she will always be by your side through it all.

 

5. She Will be the Kick in the Ass You Need
Nobody can ground you like an older sister. You think you’re the sh**? Before you came along they ruled this joint. They will always be happy for you and they will be the ones who are cheering the loudest but when you need it they are there to bring you back down to earth.

6. The Pill
The spooky contraceptive pill. An older sister is like a cushion between this difficult topic and your mother. She will always help smooth out any situation.

 

7. Respect For Yourself
Your sister will never let you doubt the person you are and will never let you settle for anything less then you deserve. Even though it might be her worst nightmare, she is the one to let you know it’s OK that you would much prefer to have a Star Wars marathon instead of America's Next Top Model. As long as it doesn’t clash with the Keeping Up with the Kardashians reruns, you can do whatever you want. She will set your little weirdo soul free.

8. Music
At a time when DJ Boonie was unstoppable, your sister was there with the Beatles, Bob Dylan and Newton Faulkner. She is the one that will teach you there is not just the music you hear on MTV.

9. Two Wardrobes
Any time you’re sporting a new top or dress, it will more then likely have come from your very own boutique called, ‘I found it in my sisters room.’  Arguments ensue by you insisting that she gave it to you ages ago, or that it simply came in with your laundry so it must be yours.

10. How to Leave a Row with No Real Winner
You will never have a fight like you do with your sister. It becomes less of a row and more of a competition of who can bring their voice to a level where only dogs can hear you. They may be often but they never last for long. You get whatever you need out of your system. You will always love her, you just don’t have to like her on occasion.

11. You Learn How to be Competitive
There will always be a bit of competition with sisters, especially when you’re younger but after a while you learn how to be a gracious loser in some aspects and you become comfortable in your own roles.

12. She Knows How to Make You Laugh
No one can make you laugh uncontrollably like your sister can. Meanwhile your mother will wait quietly in the corner like a nervous wreck because she knows it will only end in tears.

13. She is the Most Honest Person In Your Life
If you look like sh** she will be more then happy to tell you but she will also have an alternate outfit waiting on the sideline.

14. You Were her Doll Growing Up
So she shouldn’t be surprised when you copy her from time to time.

15. She’ll Teach You How to be Bitchy
No one can teach you the art of bitchiness quite like your sister.

16. You Always had a Fake ID
You didn’t have to go at your provisional license with a sharpie. You had the real thing, even if it wasn’t you. You also learned how to snatch and run if the bouncer got suspicious and tried to confiscate it.

17. Matching Clothes
When you were five, it was cute and adorable. However she was a few years older, she hated every second of it. It’s probably why she threw a few unearned slaps your way from time to time.

18. You Have Your Very Own Cheer Squad
They will encapsulate your own mother by being the most embarrassing cheer leader imaginable. 

19. You’re Never Alone When You Have a Sister

via our content partner CT

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Ah, 21. The age of adulthood. The age where you realise this life is yours and you better look after it. Here are some things you should have learnt before turning 21, but if you’re anything like us, didn’t.

1. How to budget properly
No more splashing that cash! It’s time for rules.

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2. Knowing your limits
This isn’t only when it comes to  drink, but also taking care of your body. When you’re young, you don’t really think much about taking care of your body, but when you get older you start to realise that it’s more about preservation.

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3. How to cook for yourself
This doesn’t mean making yourself a turkey sambo or sticking a pizza in the oven. It’s being actually able to cook healthy food and have enough variety that you don’t get sick of having the same thing every night.

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4. There is no such thing as a junk food diet
No matter how much you may love junk food or have a sweet tooth, eventually you will realise that you can’t actually live eating junk food everyday. It’s ok in moderation, but junk food should be a reward or a way to treat yourself.

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5. Eventually things will catch up on you
Whether it’s you’re metabolism,  lack of sleep or you’re total neglect of exercise, it will all catch upon you.

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6. Failure is always an option
You will learn ten times more from failure than you do from constant success, if  everything is rosy all the time you will never see your weaknesses. Failing makes you reassess things and sometimes it can be something really simple that you never saw before.

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7. Being jealous of others is unhealthy
When you were younger, you would always be jealous of what everyone else had and as you got older you became jealous of other people. Jealousy is poison and the more you let it consume you the more you lose the sense of who you really are.

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8. Being older doesn’t make you any less awkward
Just because you’re that little bit older doesn’t mean your personality will drastically change. If you were awkward back then, odds are you’re just as awkward – if not more – now. You can learn to be less awkward around people, but you can’t just expect it to happen.

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9. Maturity doesn’t happen overnight
Maturity comes from experience and you don’t suddenly becoming mature just because you’re older. Sometimes you have to learn this the hard way but that’s ok, you’re still only a young adult.

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10. Don’t worry so much about what people think about you
There comes a stage in your life when you really just don’t care what people think of you. This isn’t to say you should act like an asshole and do what you want without thinking of the consequences. It’s more the fact you don’t have to live your life trying to please everyone you meet.

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11. Nothing ever lives up to your expectations
This isn’t always a bad thing though, because sometimes you expect something horrible and you’re pleasantly surprised. On the flip side, when you spend time building something up in your head, it never turns out as you expected it to.

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12. Don’t dwell on the past so much
It’s ok every now and again to take a look at your life and see where you’re going, but if you live in the past you won’t see what’s ahead of you.

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13. Don’t be afraid to ask others for help, we’re all in the same boat
Odds are that you’re not the only one who needs it, so don’t be afraid to ask for someone else’s help, you never know, you might be able to help them with something in return. If you in a dark place its always better to ask others for advice on how to get out of it.

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14. You can’t live with your parents forever
As cushy as living with your parents may seem, sooner or later you will have to move out and get your own place. It may seem daunting, but you and your friends can share a place when they all have a job. It’s like staying on a tour bus with your mates, be prepared to hate them.

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15. College isn’t for everyone
If you’re 21 and you have dropped out of college twice already, maybe it just isn’t for you. Some people are more suited to going straight into the working world and know exactly what they want to do. They don’t have to waste money on doing a degree that won’t benefit them in any way when it’s all said and done.

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16. Finding a job you love is better than just finding a job
We all need money right? But if you know what you want to do and it’s actually viable, then go do it. You might have to get other jobs in the meantime but don’t settle for what you have if you really want to go further.

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17. It’s better to have a few great friends than loads that you can’t count on
Your no longer in school and it’s not about popularity anymore. If you have a small group of friends that you can trust and know that they’ve got your back you don’t need much more. They will always be there when you need them and you will always return the favour.

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18. It’s better to have bad relationships now than later on
When you’re young, it’s the best time to break-up with your girlfriend and get back together again. It’s the time to cheat and the time to get cheated on. When you get older you have to commit and be loyal and you don’t want to end up like the people on Jeremy Kyle.

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19. If you think they’re the one they’re most likely not
As the saying goes, love is blind but there is much more to a relationships than you think. It’s not always those that are a perfect match that end up being with each other in the end.

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20. Just be you: that’s all that matters
There is so much pressure from the media to look a certain and think a certain way. They’re wrong! What makes people attractive is that they have a way of looking at the world. Be comfortable in your skin, we’re not all super =models, and frankly,we’re better off because of it.

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21. Your life hasn’t turned out the way you expected it, but that’s ok
We all have a vision of how our life will turn out and that it will be smooth sailing. It can be a harsh realisation when things don’t happen for you, but you shouldn’t be deterred. You still have a life to live and make what you want of it, the only thing is that when it’s all said and done, you did it in your own way.

tumblr_llmr05P1gB1qe1hsrvia our content partner CT

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