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Ever felt that you don’t match the requirements of the basic lady etiquette? You are not alone! However, as much as some of us lovely ladies try to join in on the good manners and tidy hair, the universe turns around and says no. Here are the 26 signs that the lady life isn’t for you:

1. You’re Unwillingly 100% Accident Prone

You’re covered in bruises, leaves in your hair and probably covered in bird feces and it’s only 2pm on a Monday. Overall, the universe does nothing for your grace and poise.

2. You Probably Fall Over A Lot Too

No doubt you do: us class of girl literally can’t help it! Maybe it’s our feet, maybe it’s because we’re thinking about cheeseburgers or were wearing shoes too high for us, either way we’ve fallen over so many times that there’s just no point mentioning it to anyone anymore.

3. For You, There Is No Dancing Etiquette

The music flows through you, making your limbs do whatever feels good: however, this usually results in smacking numerous people in the face, people taking pictures of you and of course, falling over.

4. You Can’t Help But Get Anxious Going To Formal Events

You feel like you’ve completely forgotten any kind of lady training you were given growing up. All you can do is at least try to look like lady, hope there’s only one kind of fork, knife, spoon and not make a fool out of yourself.

5. You Rock The “I’ve Just Rolled Out of Bed Look” Pretty Well

The fact that this “look” became a thing was incredibly convenient to you. Often enough people ask what hair product do you use to get that Russell Brand look, the answer always being “I just don’t brush my hair.”.

5. Telling People About Your Bodily Functions Is In No Way “Oversharing” To You

It’s typical of you to break conversational boundaries without even thinking about it.

6. Exercise Isn’t Really Your Thing

Not to mention you’ve never been to an aerobics class, the thought of spin class exhausts you and you pretty only exercise when you realise you’ve gained some unwanted pounds. Why can’t we just eat fried chicken and suffer no consequences?

7. Your Mother Is Constantly Throwing Shade At You

“Would you not wear something a bit more… feminine?” Yep, mothers have no shame in telling us what they think of our appearance. They miss the days when they could dress you in whatever pink stuff they wanted. She respects your independence, but that doesn’t stop the judgemental looks.

8. You’d Rather Wear Tights Than Shave Your Legs

Ugh the weekend is upon us and you’ve a few social engagements to attend. Depending on the season, the amount of tights you have that don’t have holes in them, and your energy levels you might shave your legs. It’s just so devastating when you shave your legs, and it wasn’t worth it.

9. You Identify More With J-Law More Than You Should

Everybody loves J-Law, they think she’s so quirky and cute. But to you she’s essentially your better looking famous twin: she’s lazy, falls over a lot, and loves pizza. But she gets away with it: tell us how J-Law.

10. … And Liz Lemon

“Will there be free food?” Food on our planet is the centre of the world, no doubt you watch food shows all day long, and get insanely jealous of Man vs. Food’s – Adam Richman. Liz, like us, makes most of her decisions around her appetite, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

11. You Don’t Understand The Concept of Eating Lettuce

WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED THE LEAVES?

12. You Own More Underwear With Cartoons Characters On Them Than Thongs Or Anything Involving Lace

Underwear with Kermit the Frog on them are cute! Plus they’re way more comfortable that a string inserting itself in between your buttcheeks. 

13. You’re Secretly Proud of Your Ability To Burp The Alphabet

Most people can’t do that! Or at least the whole thing… All I know is that I don’t have any other party trick and this one always impresses people, even the lads!

14. Drinking Rosè Is The Closest You Come To Anything Pink

Nothing against pink, we just don’t tend to wear much of it. Rosè is alcoholic, and by no means should it be discriminated against for being pink, but it’s definitely the most pink thing in our lives.

15. Swearing Like A Sailor Is Just How You Speak

We know other words, but when you fall over all the time and constantly fumble into situations with the least amount of grace, you curse a whole lot!

16. You Don’t Use Cutlery As Much As You Probably Should

I didn’t know eating pizza with a knife and fork is a thing? Why is it a thing? The one food you’re allowed use your hands to consume and the mannerly folk take it away from us… it’s not fair.

17. Finding Food In Your Hair Is A Daily Occurrence

You could have dinner, really focus on your food to mouth motor skills with you hair in a towel and still manage to find bits of cornflakes in it. Another minor mishap in the life of struggling lady.

18. You Sometimes Forget Basic Manners

People who are not completely forward with are annoying. In order to get answers you sometimes forget to ask politely. You often confront the pink elephant within the room much to the annoyance of others, but you honestly couldn’t give a flying feck.

19. But At Heart You Know You’d Couldn’t Be Happier Being Any Other Way

Sure look, at the end of the day you’re able to turn around and laugh at yourself. You see your life as a show on comedy central and you’d prefer to have food in your hair everyday for the rest of your life rather than try to be anyone else. Plus we have way more fun than ladies.

via our content partner CT

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If you’re an awkward individual you’re definitely not the most graceful person out there, that’s for sure. You try and act cool and calm, but then you over think things and end up looking like a fool. You just weren’t born with the cool gene and its seems like everything you do has a hint of awkwardness to it. Here are the things that awkward people find it hard to do:

1. Greeting someone
Yeah, you find even the basics painfully hard to do, it’s even worse when you’re not sure to hug them or just give them a handshake and a pat on the back. This dilemma always seems to plague you because you can never quite get it right.

2. Closing statements when you’re on the phone
You seem to be fine when you’re  actually on the phone, but there is something about saying goodbye that you just don’t get. You’re never quite sure when to end the conversation, so when they say goodbye you have no clue what to say and end up saying something ridiculous

paul rudd animated GIF

3. Trying to get by someone
There is nothing that strikes fear into your heart more than when you are walking down the street and you both walk into each other. You fail to anticipate their movements and keep going the same way they do. Take some lessons from these two on how to deal with this awkward situation.

31 Painfully Awkward Moments That Make You Want To Crawl Into A Hole

4. Laughing
You can’t  seem to control yourself when you see something funny. It’s not exactly how you laugh it’s the fact that everyone can hear you when you bust out laughing.

5. Smalltalk
It’s definitely not your strong suit that’s for sure, you don’t really get it and you literally can’t carry a conversation. You definitely aren’t the one who initiates the conversation.

6. Comforting someone
If small talk isn’t your forte then comforting someone is your  worst nightmare. You just don’t know how to react to someone who is in need and you do the least amount possible to comfort them.

7. Joining in on a conversation
So you’re kind of on the fringes of a conversation and are trying yo get involved. You say the most random thing ever that you think is related to the conversation…awkward.

8. Giving compliments
You don’t do it that often, but when you do you really have no clue how to do it. If you say it to someone you like, they will see you in a completely different light and not in a good way.

9. Pretending you weren’t looking
You tend to make it really obvious when you were looking at someone and you try to pretend that you weren’t. You look quickly and have no clue what to do. The person obviously knows you were and if you actually gave them a smile or a wave it would be less awkward.

10. Meeting a friend of a friend
You have no problem meeting up with your friend, but when they say that some of their friends that you’ve never met are going to be there you just can’t handle it. You don’t know what to say and you always give a terrible first impression.

11. Flirting
The less said about your flirting the better, it’s basically non existent and you shouldn’t try so hard.You’re not really the flirting type so it’s best that you just keep things simple and don’t try anything eleaborate.

12. Awkward Silences
You think of something to say, but then think it’s stupid, so you just sit there in silence. It doesn’t really bother the person you’re talking to, but for you there is nothing you hate more than awkward silences.

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13. Lying
You’re just a terrible liar, end of, everyone sees right through you when you’re lying. You might as well not even try because at this stage, it’s kind of embarrassing. It’s that fact that you’re looking down when you say it and how your voice gets quieter the longer you speak.

liar-liar-i-cant-lie-o

14. Falling over in public
It’s any awkward person’s worst nightmare, and you couldn’t possibly think of anything worse to happen to you. It’s not so much the falling over, it’s the fact that someone could have actually seen you doing it. Someone people get up like nothing happened, but you get extremely paranoid about it.

via our content partner CT

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There are some people that just shouldn't be out in public. Here are the types of people it is perfectly acceptable to be annoyed with (in your head, not out loud because that's just rude).

1. Slow Walkers
The worst of the worst. They don’t seem to have a care in the world, as you walk directly behind them huffing because you can't get past. This does not apply to old people. It does, however, apply to groups of friends who walk five abreast across the pavement. MOVE IN. 

2. Inconsiderate Smokers
If you are a smoker, please be aware of where you are blowing the smoke. Into our faces is so not cool. 

3. Smelly People
Whether it be B.O. or just a fart, our nostrils shouldn’t have to deal with either.

4. Large Groups Of Young People
This may make us sound ancient but there’s no way the rest of you aren’t annoyed if a big group is stopped in the middle of the street, seemingly unaware of the busy people trying to get by them.

5. Loud Phone Conversations
If we wanted to eavesdrop on your conversation we'd be standing much closer to you. Lower your voice.

6. Bad Parking
TWO spaces?! Are you serious? Parking jerk. 

7.  Not Washing Their Hands After Using The Toilet
Oh, yes. We saw you. 

8. Rude People
You think we held that door open or let you past me for no reason? A little “thank you” goes a long way.

9. PDA
What happens in the gif below should happen to any couple who ever goes over the top in any show of affection. There should be PDA Wardens patrolling the street with 7 or 8 rolls of sellotape on their belt.

10. Staring
Please stop. What's on me?!

11. Loud Music
Who listens to Prodigy at 6am? No one, that's who. 

12. Cyclists Who Don’t Know How/Where To Cycle
The roads are for cycling, and the paths are for walking. And when it’s a red light for the cars, it’s a red light for the bicycles as well. It’s not that hard. 

13. Queue Skipping
Nope. 

 via our content partner CT

 
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Some people just seem to coast through life without a breeze and are too laid back for their own good.

They don’t worry much about things and just let it happen. There are some downsides to that, because things don’t always end up going the way you had planned.

Here are the struggles every laid back person has to deal with:

1. People think you’re lazy
There is a fine line between being laid back and being lazy. If you’re laid back you just don’t stress about things as much. You still get things done, but you have your own way of doing things. If you’re lazy, you struggle to get things done and will try everything you can to avoid doing what you have to.

2. You wish you could care about drama
When someone tells you a secret about someone you don’t really react, you just say “whatever”. You don’t even act surprised. Most of the time you couldn’t care about who did what and where. For once you would actually wish you could care about it, but you're just not concerned about that kind of thing.

3. You are always the last one to get ready
If you’re going out with your friends, you’re always the last one to get ready. You wait until the last minute to get out of your sweatpants and into your proper clothes. A lot of the time you rush to get ready and end up being late when you could have easily been on time.

4. People think you’re a pushover
If you’re laid back it doesn’t mean you’re a pushover, you can still have strong beliefs and values. You might not stress about it a lot, but if someone tries to challenge you and what you stand for you won’t back down.

5. You shy away from confrontation
You might not be a pushover, but you do your best to stay away from confrontation. You might get mad and then realise that it’s not worth it and just leave it, while others might actually go through with it.

6. High energy people freak you out
You don’t get people who are super hyper and you just wish they would chill for a minute. They have so much energy and you don’t really know how to deal with them. They start to give you a headache any time they are around.

7. You’re  actually worried that you don’t stress out enough
You’re so laid back that it’s gotten to the point where you worried that you don’t stress out when things happen. Nothing phases you and no matter what happens, you never get stressed. You think there is something wrong with you because you never stress out when things go sour.

8. You know you could give more effort, but you decide not to
At best you give at 70%, the rest of the time it’s just over 50%. You know that if you applied yourself that you could actually do a better job, but slacking has become such a routine that you don’t know any other way.

9. Your greatest struggle is getting up in the morning
You wake up at the right time and all, but for some reason you just lie there and your mind wanders. Next thing you knows 20 minutes have past and you still need to have a shower and get dressed. It really takes every fibre of your being to get out of bed and wash.

10. Your so laid back, that people think that you’re always stoned
You're just relaxed, man…

via our content partner CT

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When you’re in a relationship, being yourself and staying true to yourself is key, as unbelievably cheesy as that may sound. It’s far too easy after all, to lose a little part of yourself when you’re trying to accommodate another person into your daily schedule.

As close as you may be, there’s always going to be a tiny little something that you hold back, something that’s left unsaid or indeed, something that’s twisted in order to lessen the side effects (mainly silence) that it may cause. Here are 13 phrases that every couple use and what they really mean. So now you know…

1. “It’s up to you.”

I don’t care enough about this matter to argue, so therefore I’m handing the responsibility over to you in the hope that you will, for once, make the right decision.

2. “I’m fine, ok?”

You’re an unbelievable a**hole, I’m now going to punish you until you remember what it is that you did wrong.

3. “No, I love your friends, why wouldn’t I?”

Possibly because they’re annoying idiots with whom I would never, ever voluntarily spend time with.

4. “I’m just really tired.”

I just really don’t want to have sex with you tonight. No offence or anything…

5. “Yes, I obviously do remember the date of our anniversary.”

Oh no. Please tell me I wrote it down somewhere. Facebook?

6. “Let’s do something.”

I'm bored.

7. “I’ve had the worst day ever.”

That is your cue to make me tea. Seriously. Put the kettle on.

8. “Are you hungry?”

I am absolutely starving, therefore, you’d better be too.

9. “Excuse me?”

Repeat the incorrect information that just departed your stupid mouth. Then await whatever abuse that you so clearly deserve.

10. “I love your mother, you’re talking rubbish.”

I really have no time for your mother. Soz. 

11. “I’m actually freezing.”

If you love me then you’ll give me your hoodie and then you’ll spoon away the cold.

12. “I really appreciated that drunk call last night, thanks so much.”

Thanks for waking me up last night dipshit. You can now suffer the effects of my interrupted sleep pattern.

13. “I think you should wear something else. It’s cold outside.”

You look so horrendous that there’s no way I’m stepping out in public with you. Go and change or I’m leaving you.

via our content partner CT

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Whether you live at home or share a house with your friends (or strangers for that matter), there are times when no matter how well you get on, they are just going to do something that gets on your nerves. It’s inevitable when you share the same space with other people. If you’re lucky, these things will rarely happen. But if not, well, you could always move. Or just retaliate, whatever’s cheaper.

1.Drinking Straight Out Of The Carton
It doesn’t matter how big the thirst is that you’re trying to quench, you can take the extra ten seconds to pour the drink into a glass and drink from that. Your saliva and our milk don't mix. Ever. 

2. Putting Empty Boxes/Bottles/Containers Back In The Fridge
The only reason that people do this is that they aren’t concentrating while they’re tiding up after themselves. Please think about what you’re doing and don’t get our hopes up that there’s still some M&M’s left in that big empty bag in the fridge.

3. Blatantly Eating Your Food
Just buy your own – or at least ask!

4. Leaving Dirty Dishes In The Sink
Don’t even get us started.

5. Noisy Eating
Some people, in fairness, are just noisy eaters, and there’s not a lot that they can do about it, it’s just the way they chew and the shape of their face or something. (Not to be confused with people who chew with their mouth open. Those people can’t be helped.)

6. Leaving The Cap Off The Toothpaste
Hard, stale unusable toothpaste is never good, how is it that much harder to just put it back on?

7. Not Hanging Up The Towel After A Shower…
It can’t dry properly down there, and becomes smellier in a much shorter space of time.

8…Or Opening The Window
We can't see in the fogged up mirror to do our make-up every morning – can't you be a little considerate?

9. Leaving The Toilet Seat Up
One for the boys. How many times do we have to fall into the toilet bowl before we either start looking down first, or you learn to put it down after?

10. Using Your Shampoo
Like stealing your food, there’s only a certain amount of people that it could be. Only this one is much easier to figure out, especially when they come out of the bathroom smelling like coconut conditioner. 

11. Eating In Their Room And Leaving The Stuff Behind
By “stuff” we mean all of the cutlery, bowls, plates and cups they seem to be gathering into some sort of personal collection, meaning that there's nothing to eat cereal with in the morning, or any meal throughout the day for that matter.

12. Not Replacing An Empty Toilet Roll
Or even worse, not buying more when they’ve used up the last roll in the house. Tissues and kitchen roll will only do for so long!

13. Not Cleaning The Oven After Use
Obviously the oven doesn’t need to be cleaned after every time it’s used, but it’s common courtesy to clean up any spills that may have been caused by any of the food you were cooking.

14. Stinking Up The Fridge With Smelly Food
Blue cheese? Reeeally?

15. Hair In The Sink
No. Just, no.

16. Not Flushing The Toilet
Nope. 

17. Stealing Your Charger
When someone asks to borrow something, the standard thing to do is to return whatever it is once they’re finished with it. Not keep in their room indefinitely until you have to be asked for it. 

18. Leaving Used Tea Bags On The Counter
Taking the teas bag out of the mug and leaving it on the spoon while you pour your milk in or get the biscuits is a pretty common habit. But don’t just leave it there, throw it out before you leave the kitchen. The bin is 5 feet away from, it’s not hard.

19. Having The Television Really Loud
Sssh!!

 20. Bringing Home Unwelcome Couch Surfers
And they stay for way longer than you expect them to. They make relaxing in your own house awkward.

via our content partner CT

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Sex is great – we all love it! But there are some types of sex that are just better than others. Here's the most memorable sex you will have in your life:

1. First Time Sex
We don’t mean the time that you lost your virginity, because we all know that was awful sex. But after you’ve taught yourself a few moves and finally feel confident that you know what you’re doing under the sheets, first time sex with your new partner feels incredible. It can be awkward and nervous at first, but once you find your rhythm everything falls into place. Sparks fly, birds are singing outside your bedroom window. 

friends animated GIF

2. Make-up Sex
Make-up sex is up there with the best of them. There’s no better way to close an argument with your boyfriend than by getting up close and personal. You’re still angry and hate your partner a little bit because you’re still mad about whatever it was you were arguing about, and all this added ferocity boils into a beautiful concoction of unbelievable make-up sex. If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut and need to spice things up in the bedroom, start a silly argument for the sake of it, so you can jump into make-up sex later. Healthy. 

sex animated GIF

3. Revenge Sex
Revenge sex is an awful and spiteful thing to do, but at the time you’re doing it, it does feel incredible. Because let’s face it, you’re doing it for a reason. You may be doing it to get back at someone who wronged you, and you may feel like an awful human being once that nut is busted, but when that Marvin Gaye music is ringing in your ears and you’re doing the no pants dance, that’s the last thing on your mind. Who ever said that revenge wasn’t sweet?

sex animated GIF

4. Marathon Sex
Okay, marathon sex is just the best. There’s no better way to explore your partner’s needs and figure out what they like best, then to go at it two, three, or even four times in a row. Practice makes perfect, and boy you’re getting a whole lot of practice!

5. Secret Sex
Secret sex is so, so satisfying because, like Monica and Chandler out of Friends, having to hide your sexual relationship makes it all the more fun and sexy. Whether it’s because you’re cheating (bold), hiding them from your disapproving parents or just sneaking around for the fun of it, secret sex is like Christmas to those dirty thrill seekers. Enjoy it while you can though, because you’ll always get caught in the end.

sex animated GIF

via our content partner CT

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With college about to start back in just a couple of weeks, and the new batch of freshers eagerly awaiting to set foot into their respective universities, here’s what you can expect in your first semester in college. Here’s 11 amazing things about starting college!

1. The beginning of your 20's
Your final years of being a teenager are upon you and your 20's are just about to begin. They say these are the best years of your life, and they’d be right! So make the most of them.

college animated GIF

2. Really getting into your dating life
College is where everyone really explores the opposite sex and starts seriously dating. As a teenager, you haven’t the most educated perception about the opposite sex and what you are looking for in a partner. Experience is key, so don’t settle down with the first person you lay your eyes on.

the simpsons animated GIF

3. Joining clubs and societies
Colleges have hundreds of different clubs and societies which cater for everyone’s interests, sports and hobbies. Getting involved is the best way to meet new people with similar interests as you and make new friends.

frat animated GIF

4. Playing on a college sports team
College sports have teams at varying levels in all sorts of sports, for the serious athletes to the people who are just playing for a laugh. The inter-college games are fueled with added banter and competition which everyone loves to get involved in.

movie animated GIF

5. You are your own boss
You won’t have to deal with teachers chasing you down for sick notes or asking why you haven’t completed your homework assignment anymore. You are the only person in control of you.

happy animated GIF

6. Making lifelong friends
You’ll hang onto your college friends for life. They are there through your most formative years and most of the time you’ll share the same interests, as you all chose the same college/career path on your own.

best friends animated GIF

7. Day drinking on campus
You don’t have a bar on your school’s territory, but at college you’ve got at the very least, one bar where you can go and neck a cheap pint of Fosters before strolling into your lecture 20 minutes late. Or not. The choice is yours.

drinking animated GIF

8. Procrastinating your way to a college degree
Procrastination seems to be born and bred in college. The key is to acutely balance your workload and procrastination levels. Too much of one thing can tip the scales and leave you with a horrid college experience, so make sure you strike a good balance between the two.

jason bateman animated GIF

9. Studying something that you love
Unlike school, where you’re forced to study a bunch of subjects, some of which you’re inevitably going to hate, college life allows you to hone in on one specific arena which you are interested in and begin to develop your analytical skills in that area.

cat animated GIF

10. Scrounging off your parents for another few years
Students and scrounginess beautifully intertwine with one another. Students are synonymous with drinking beer and living cheaply, and damn do they do it well!

zac efron animated GIF

11. College nights out
College nights out are without a doubt the most insane and liveliest around. Enjoy them as much as you can because once you get a stable 9-5 job, you won’t be able to get started at 3pm on a Tuesday and head into work the next morning hangover-free.

party animated GIF

via our content partner CT

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There are many, many things you should apologise for in this life. Being a One Direction fan, standing up for Justin Bieber, thinking that kale tastes good. That said, there are a lot of things that you should never apologise for. Life is too short to worry about every single little thing. Here are the things that you should never apologise for:

1. Spending Your Hard Earned Cash

You’ve worked your little heart out for that money, why not go and treat yourself? After all, there are far too many savers in the world. You can’t bring the money with you when you die.Splurge and be happy. 

2. Letting Go Of Bad Relationships

You should never feel bad for leaving behind a bad relationship; whether it was a past love or a friend. If you’re miserable and dread seeing them every time, then it’s time to pack up the past and move forward.

3. Being Brutally Honest

There’s nothing wrong with telling someone some harsh home truths, from time to time. Whether it’s calling them out on their bad behavior or bad outfit choice, honesty can be refreshing from time to time, in this oh so two faced world.

4. Having A Lie In

Is there anything like waking up at 7am on a Saturday morning and realising you don't have to get up? Bliss…

5. Letting Loose Every Once In A While

Sometimes all we need to feel sane is the promise of a night of socialising and general shenanigans. When the going gets tough, a night out with friends is sometimes all you need to get going again. No guilt involved.

6. Having Unusual Tastes

Yes, even the kale. 

7. Wanting Some Alone Time

No one knows you better than you, so who better to whittle away a few lost hours with? Society has moulded our brains in such a way that we feel as though being alone is something to be ashamed about. Well it shouldn’t. Go enjoy some ‘you’ time today.

8. Not Wanting A Traditional Future

Just because you don’t want a house in the suburbs with two kids and a cat, doesn’t make your future any more viable than the next person’s, or vise versa for that matter. Dream big and aspire to be whatever you want to be, there’s nothing stopping you.

9. Always Carrying Snacks, Just In Case

You’ll never know when hunger will strike, so it’s always handy to have a few snack supplies nearby, just in case. Snacks are a way of life, end of.

10. Being Single And Happy

Do you receive a rush of pity whenever you mention to someone that you’re a single pringle, despite being single because, oh I don’t know, you WANT to be? Because you’ve seen your friends get hurt, one by one and don’t really fancy it happening to you? Because you like to go out and meet new and interesting people without having a six foot bag of misery attached to your arm? Imagine that.

11. Wondering If There’s More To Life

If you feel stuck in a rut, are bored, are dreaming of what else could be out there, then don’t give up. Get out there, try new things, travel, move, apply for that job, shun the negative ones who tell you that this is it. Because this isn’t it, there’s so much more to be found, so just go and find it.

12. Swapping The Gym For A Film Night

It’s a cold, miserable evening and the thoughts of donning lycra and sweating for the next hour, is enough to make you want to cry. So instead, you stick on a great film and curl up on the couch for the evening. That’s most definitely not a thing to feel bad about. The fact that you even considered the gym as an option, is an achievement in itself…

via our content partner CT

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College is a magical place where you have effectively all the freedom of an adult, with none of the responsibility. And as a result, college life isn’t quite the same as life outside it, and some words as a result mean something slightly different than they do in the real world. Here is a list of some of these words.

1. Repeats

Outside College: Does or says something again, or more than once.

In College: To be avoided at all costs. Will ruin any plans you have at the end of the summer if you don’t.

 

2. Reading

Outside College: Taking in something that is written down.

In College: Something your lecturer tells you to complete in between lectures, that you never ever do.

 

3. Guest List

Outside College: A list of names of the people invited to an event or party.

In College: A magical list that gets you in free to night clubs on a certain weekday.

 

4. Champagne

Outside College: A region of France that produces some of the most expensive sparkling wine in the world.

In College: Some really cheap bottle of prosecco or something similar that are sometimes on offer to people who bring a birthday party to a night club.

 

5. Drink

Outside College:  To take in and consume liquid.

In College: Anything with alcohol in it.

 

6. Arts

Outside College: An outlet of human expression that includes literature, music, dance, painting, photography and film.

In College: A degree that is the butt of an awful lot of jokes, and for good reason.

 

7. Food

Outside College: Any substance consumed to provide nutrition to the body.

In College: Whatever leftover takeaway is in the fridge from the night before. See also: half a box of corn flakes. Eaten dry. 

 

8. Study

Outside College: To devote time and attention to gaining knowledge of a certain subject.

In College: Something you should be doing instead of flicking endlessly through Facebook and watching the tenth episode of your favourite tv show in a row.

 

9. Assignment

Outside College: A task or piece of work allocated to someone as part of a job or course of study.

In College: Something that you will not, under any circumstances, start until the night before it is due.

 

10. Research

Outside College: Investigate a number of reliable and related sources systematically

In College: Look up the Wikipedia page on the topic and name the sources of the page as your reference material.

 

11. Clean

Outside College: Free from dirt, marks, or stains

In College: All of the empty bottles and cans from the night before are in a big bag beside the bin outside.

 

12. Being Late

Outside College: Arriving to something after the expected or desired time.

In College: Not an issue.

 

13. Bed

Outside College: Somewhere to sleep and sometimes make love to man/woman of your dreams.

In College: Your best friend.

 

14. Drunk

Outside College: To have consumed enough alcohol that your speech, balance and thought process are somewhat impaired.

In College: Passed out in a dark corner of whatever night club you got free into, cradling a bottle of that “champagne”.

 

15. A House

Outside College: A building that one or more people, often a family, lives together.

In College: Somewhere to drink.

 

16. Library

Outside College: A building that stores books/CDs/films that the public are allowed to borrow for a certain amount of time.

In College: Somewhere to sleep and pretend that you’re studying.

 

17. Central Heating

Outside College: The method by which a lot of modern houses are heated during the winter months.

In College: What’s that?

 

18. Being Broke

Outside College: Not having any money, and struggling to make end’s meet.

In College: Not having any money, but still managing to go out three times a week.

 

19. Early Start

Outside College: Getting up before 8am.

In College: Getting up before noon.

 

20. Summer

Outside College: The warmest months of the year when people often go on holidays.

In College: The months in between the end and start of college, when you struggle to find a job and spend too much time in front of the tv doing nothing.

 

21. WiFi

Outside College: A facility allowing computers, smartphones, or other devices to connect to the Internet or communicate with one another wirelessly within a particular area.

In College: More important than the air you breathe.

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Those of us who had to suffer through braces during our teens have this kind of silent understanding with one another. We understand what it was like.

Here are some things you will remember from your time having braces: 

1. Thinking “Why ME?!” when you found out it was time to get your braces
Sometimes the world just seems so unfair. Some people are born with perfect teeth, and others need to get braces on for two and a half years.

braces animated GIF

2. The sheer pain you endured for days afterwards
The immense pain in your gums was almost unbearable. No amount of painkillers could totally numb it.

reaction animated GIF

3. Drinking all of your meals for the next week
The blender and straw were your best friends. Remember surviving on a diet of yoghurt and soup?

drinking animated GIF

4. Refusing to smile for ages
And when you did smile, you gave that weird, creepy grin where you tried to hide your braces so only the tops of your gums were on show.

one direction animated GIF

5. Getting elastic bands attached
What a horrific idea. Whoever though of this? Bright and colourful elastic bands which pin themselves across your teeth. At least change the colour so people don’t ask you about them over and over again.

 

6. Fearing that you wouldn’t get to kiss anybody until you got them off
When you have braces, you think that they are the most unattractive thing in the world. But they’re not, and you quickly realised that there’s far more unattractive things than braces.

sad animated GIF

7. The great feeling when your friends got braces too
You’re not alone in this struggle! Solidarity. The glorious feeling when one of your friends gets braces too. You say nothing of course, but inside you’re weeping with happiness.

reaction animated GIF

8. Running your tongue along your braces
How weird? Don’t lie, you did it.

nicki minaj animated GIF

9. Having food lodged in your braces
It was one of the worst situations about having braces. You had to try and remove the bits of food that crept into the gaps between the metal and hope that nobody noticed you doing so.

ryan gosling animated GIF

 

10. Getting your braces tightened
You knew it was coming but it never made it any better. The pain would resurface, as would the blender and straw…

sad animated GIF

11. Being called the worst nicknames in the world
Braceface, Train Tracks and Metal Mouth were among the worst. Then some people had the audacity to shout “CHOO CHOOOOO!”

male animated GIF

12. The euphoria you feel when you get your braces off!
There is no better feeling in your adolescent, or indeed adult, life than the day you get your braces off. Going from trying not to smile to unleashing that glorious Hollywood grin at every opportunity is just fantastic!

happy animated GIF

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If only there was a guide to being a woman.  A list of things that every modern, 21st century girl should know how to do, no questions asked, no second thoughts. Well ask no more ladies, for here it is. Go forth and conquer.

1. How To Walk In Heels

There are two types of women in this world. Those who live in heels and those who look on them with a mixture of fear and loathing. That said, being able to swag a little in heels is something that every woman should learn how to do. You’ll never know when it could come in handy…

2. How To Stop Street Harassment

Even in the modern, equal values world of today, there are many, many men who feel that openly harassing women on the street is acceptable. So the next time it happens to you, stop and turn the tables on them. “Nice arse sweetheart”, should do nicely.

3. How To Embrace Your Natural Self

Yes, make-up is great. It helps to embrace and highlight what God has given us. It makes us photo ready and fabulous (in our eyes) However, far too many women are far too dependent on make-up and need to learn to go. Wear less make-up more often!

4. How To Control Your Hormones

If you turn into an axe wielding maniac once a month, then perhaps now is the time to learn to control that anger. Easier said than done, yes, but simple things like running and eating well can all help to control it. It’s worth a little time investment.

5. How To Out-Wit Any Man

Being witty, smart, sharp and sarcastic is a skill that every woman should possess. 

6. How To Drive

Never depend on someone else to drive you around. It’s not even about owning your own car, even though that is clearly something we all want, but just knowing how to get yourself or anyone for that matter, from A-B, is an underrated skill at best.

7. How To Dress Appropriately

For any occasion. Buy a smart dress, blazer, tailored trousers and decent shoes and you’ll have pretty much covered all basis. Just never, ever attend a funeral in sequins. Ever.

8. How To Live Healthily

Learn how to cook an egg, wash some lettuce and go for a jog every once in a blue moon and you’re half way there sunshine. Just remember that McDonald's and the couch does not a healthy body make.

9. How To Be Independent

No woman out there should ever utter that she ‘needs’ a man. Don’t get me wrong, men are great and all but technically, the only thing we need men for is reproducing. What you need, is to learn to do things for yourself. Even if it’s something as simple as eating by yourself, do it.

10. How To Shop In A Pharmacy

You all know what I’m talking about here. You don’t have time to pop into the giant sized Boots in town, so instead you pop into your local pharmacy for all of your tampon/ contraceptive/ hairy needs. But instead of buying exactly what it is you need, you load up on hair clips, nail varnish and band aids, as if, somehow, it’s going to distract from all of the other stuff. It won’t.

11. How To Cut Bad Influences From Your Life

This can take the form of bad habits such as smoking, excess drinking or drug use, or people who are negatively influencing your life. 

12. How To D.I.Y.

Pick up that toolbox and get to grips with the hammer and nails. No, that was not a metaphor for anything dirty, in case that was what you were thinking. We're talking about learning how to put up a shelf, hang a picture, fix that broken shower curtain. Rock that tool belt girl.

13. How To Get What You Really Want

Whether it’s getting that promotion or getting the object of your affections, you must learn how to get exactly what you want in this life, by whatever means necessary. To do so with respect, manners and the acceptable measure of force, is something that every woman should learn how to do. Without question.

14. How To Not Sweat The Small Stuff

Obviously, there are things you should most definitely care about. Your health, your family, your career. Things that you should not give a shit about include, caring what people think of you, cellulite, drunk texting your ex, not wanting to settle for the first man that comes along, being single and happy or being loved up and happy. Let the haters hate and you’ll be so much happier in your own skin. Promise.

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