Stereotypes of Irish people that just so happen to be true

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Jul 3, 2014

So many of the stereotypes of Irish people tend to be exaggerated and untrue. Not these ones however, these are true! All true!

1. We have big families
Well, not every single person but families do tend to be a lot bigger than other parts of the world. Every time you walk down the street with your gran you meet at least five cousins you never knew existed.

2. We’re very welcoming and friendly people
Not that we’re bias or anything, but we’re pretty sure Irish people are the friendliest ever.

3. The Irish swear a lot!
We do, but we do it in a sweet, messing kind of way, you know? Like oh, you cheeky bastard (Translation: Oh you clever lad!)

4. We can’t get enough of those delicious potatoes
Sadly, it’s true. We all have a deep love affair with the potato on a sub-conscious level. Peel it, mash it, boil it, roast it, fry it, EAT it! Potato is the number one vegetable or side dish at every Irish family’s dinner table, even now.

5. We put off stuff all the time
We tend to have a habit of putting stuff on the back-burner. As goes the famous saying: “Ah, sure it’ll be grand.”

6. We all love the drink
It’s what we have become known for all over the world! We start drinking at a very young age, and by the time we’re 18 the novelty is gone.

7. Irish people have the gift of the gab
We do LOVE “the chats.” If an Irish person can say something in 10 words they’ll usually use 100. If you ask us a story, make sure you have the time to hear it!

8. The majority of Irish people think Bono is an eejit
The Irish are proud of many of their own artists and celebrities, like Oscar Wilde, Samuel Beckett, Brendan Behan and Glen Hansard, to name but a few. But Bono, the lead singer from U2 is an absolute dose.

via our content partner CT

10 times it is totally NOT ok to dump someone

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Jul 3, 2014

by Amber Saunders

They may say there is no time like the present. Unless the present happens to be one of these times:

1. Valentine’s Day

That is just cruel.

2. Birthdays

You simply cannot ruin someone’s special day by dumping them on their birthday.

3. Your anniversary

Especially if they have something elaborate planned. Power through.

4. Any time over the Christmas period

Christmas is for happiness only. You will forever be known as the Grinch who stole their hearts AND their Christmas.

5. When you’re intoxicated

You may not mean it. Wait until the morning after at least.

6. At a wedding

Especially if it is YOUR wedding.

7. On holidays

Do you really want to be stuck on a desert island with them for the rest of the trip?

8. In front of friends

Never be that person.

9. In their family home

So, so awkward.

10. In the cinema

You’re in a dark, lonely cinema and the trailers are still on…find another time.

via our content partner CT

How every Irish person’s holiday goes

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Jul 2, 2014

by Amber Saunders

It’s summer! You know what that means…we all try to leave this island of ours for at least 5 days to actually experience the season – yay! Here’s how the Irish person’s holiday generally tends to go:

1. The alarm has gone off at a disgusting hour, rudely awakening you from your slumber. ‘What the hell.. Oh! HOLIDAY TIME!!’

2. You leg it down stairs to have the breakfast of champions (tay and toast of course) that will fuel you for your journey ahead. You and your siblings have already started to become giddy, causing your Mammy to curse your ‘tomfoolery!’

3. You finally get to the airport but all the excitement has abated. Who are all these other people that are hell bent on slowing down your escape? Why are they wearing uniforms? Some even have their OWN suitcases. How inconsiderate!

4. After what seems like YEARS, you’ve finally boarded the plane. You all run down the aisle like a pack of wild dogs, eager to bag the window seat. After you’re ‘all settled in now’, Mammy dishes out the chewy sweets and makes sure you’re all buckled in, while shooing away any and all air hostesses. She’s ‘got this’.

5. It seems like your Dad has had too many Rock Shandy’s because as soon as the plane lands, he’s standing up leading the round of applause. You shrink into your chair with embarrassment, while your Mammy urges him to ‘SIT DOWN YE GOBSHITE!’

6. You’ve made it off the plane, out of the airport and to your hotel without a hitch. After Mammy has made you unpack you’re all decked out in your togs and sun cream. Next stop: POOL!

7. Your shenanigans in the pool are regularly interrupted by Mammy waving the bottle of sun cream at you, forever reminding you that your: ‘delicate Irish skin will be toast.’ And every time you re-apply more sun cream you have to sit out and wait for it to dry.

8. After you’ve had your fill of the sun you march back to the room to get showered and ready for dinner. With the lack of space, scorching heat and only one shower, World War III ensues.

9. Sixteen hours later you all exit the hotel, single file, miraculously unscathed from all the ructions beforehand. (‘Stop using the fucking cold tap I AM IN THE SHOWER!’)

10. Next stop: Irish pub

11. Where you meet people like this:

12. And at first you’re like… ‘IRISH PEOPLE!!!’

13. But then you’re like:

14. Except no Irish person on holidays is ever normal. They are always a shinier, redder, more fun version of themselves, wanting to forget about the recession, debt and the fact that we ever allowed these two eejits to represent our country

15. The next morning Mammy makes you rise early, despite your wretched hangover, so that you can ‘save’ your sunbeds’. You repeat the same thing every day, for two weeks. And you love it – except for this

16. After all, it won’t be long until you’re reunited with your one true love. Absence has only made the heart grow fonder

Same time next year eh lads? Savage.

via our content partner CT

The 15 different friends every woman has in her life

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Jul 2, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Some of them we love, some of them we love to hate. Either way, things get crazy with this lot around!

1. Your BFF
You guys hang out constantly and Snapchat each other when in need of a bitching sesh. This is the girl you go to when you feel awful and she won’t necessarily have to say much, but her just being there makes life that much more bearable. This is the type of friend that knows everything about you and everything seems hilarious when you’re with them.

2. The silly girl
That friend that has literally no idea what the hell is happening 24/7. She will just laugh at everything that everyone else laughs at and say she gets it, when she clearly doesn’t. Every entourage needs one of these though!

3. The sports-mad gal
The mate that tweets and Snapchats sports stats and rubbish about sport that we really don’t care about.

4. The “lady”
The girl that has so much grace, class and poise that it is beyond you. The one friend that eats pizza and burgers with a fork and a knife and keeps her heels on all night.

5. The social butterfly
That one friend that knows absolutely EVERYONE. You simply can’t walk around campus with them, without being stopped and introduced to a group of people you never knew existed. On nights out she will be messaging everyone and round up a massive crowd for pre-drinks, and you probably won’t see her again for the night.

6. The loud-mouth
That friend that does not have an indoor voice and if she sees something funny she will loudly broadcast so. They are the best craic and beyond hilarious but can we please turn it down a notch.

7. Oprah
The friend that assumes she can solve all your problems and, more importantly, points out your problems to you. She lectures you and tries to inspire you, when in reality you would rather the problem remain unsolved than hear her out.

8. The beauty and the brains
We all have that friend that is so stunning but also has the smarts to back it up.

9. The Disney freak
The friend that knows all the Frozen songs off by heart and thinks Olaf is the “cutest thing ever.” They’re in second year of college and are still attached to everything Disney, and still sport Disney t-shirts and merchandise into classes. You gotta love them though!

10. The outcast
That friend that stands out of the group and is totally different from everyone else!

11. The cynical one
That friend that is so cynical and so negative but you can’t help but love them. Their comments about things are simply hilarious and sometimes make no sense at all.

12. The clubs/socs butterfly
The friend that has no time for anybody or anything because they’re so absorbed in some glee club stuff. They are now on the committee of a club/soc and they constantly beg you to bring yourself and friends to their college events, which you say you will but never do.

13. The foodie
The friend that is a beast when it comes to food. Yes, they will pick food up which fell on the floor and claim that it is perfectly edible. They claim there is a “40 second rule.”

14. The band member
The mate who has become part of a band which you have no idea about. The band member friend will always invite you to their gigs, but you’ll never show up.

15 . The keep-fit babe
The friend always Instagramming clean meals and healthy meals and posting her workout routine that make us all feel like sh**.

via our content partner CT

20 of life’s moments that make us girls irrationally angry

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Jul 2, 2014

by Amber Saunders

There are some things in life that can make us super, super mad. Even if they aren’t that big of a deal, we can often be seen FREAKING out over some of life’s little annoyances. Here are some of the worst offenders:

1. Sleeping through your alarm

Just five minutes…another five…and another. Until next thing you know it’s 11am and you’re over two hours late for work. Nooooo!

2. Having no decent, clean clothes

Seriously? Didn’t you do a wash like, yesterday?!

3. Discovering there’s no milk for your cereal

Nothing but an empty carton. Not even a drop left for a decent cup of tea. Who would do such a thing?! They WILL pay.

4. Missing the bus

Another one will come along in 5 minutes, it’s not so bad. 45 minutes later, broken umbrella half shielding you from the rain – still no bus.

5.Bus journeys

Is there anything as bad?

6. Getting your feet wet

Ah the sun is out – flip flops! Halfway to work there is a downpour. An entire day of squidgy feet is just the worst.

7. Being really hungry and getting a horrible sandwich

Well, in fairness, why did you think egg mayo and tuna would work? It’s always such a panic at the deli counter.

8. Someone standing on your foot (and not apologising)

The height of rudeness.

9. A missed call from a private number

Great, that was probably your big break.

10. Stupid spam emails

Ooh an email! Noooo…

11. Attention seeking Facebook statuses – Hope Y3R óK HUn

“PM me hun.”

12. Your mother

Don’t get us wrong, we LOVE our mammies. Just not at 7.30am on a Saturday morning when they want to know if you would like to go for a walk.

13. Wearing too many layers and sweating profusely

Being all sweaty and stressed is enough to provoke anger, but add a fear of sweat patches and smelling into the mix and it’s enough to make you want to jump into the cold recesses of the nearest pond.

14. Having a low phone battery and no charger

Nothing beats the self inflicted anger that you will feel, upon boarding a bus and discovering that your phone is nearly dead. Fantastic, a two hour bus journey without music or internet. How WILL we survive?

15. Spending ages making dinner and then burning it

HOW did that happen?! You were SO careful this time!

16. Finally getting into the shower and finding there’s no hot water

SERIOUSLY?!

17. Tripping over in public (when alone)

Should you laugh at yourself? Ignore it? Oh Gawwwd.

18. Meeting someone you don’t like

You look like crap, and now this? Ugh.

19. Being too hot under the duvet but too cold without it

So uncomfortable.

20. Not being able to sleep even though you’re really tired

Now your going to be all tired again tomorrow. Such a vicious circle.

via our content partner CT

9 important things you should never feel guilty about

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Jul 1, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Life is for living, and sometimes we all let social pressure get on top of us. We allow society to tell us how we should live, instead of actually living. Here are some things us ladies should never feel guilty about:

1. Enjoying social beverages

As long as your drinking habits haven’t escalated into problem territory, then you order that Long Island Iced tea and you enjoy every drop of it. There’s nothing wrong with sitting back with few beers and enjoying yourself with friends.

2. Having a healthy social life

There’s nothing like a night out on the tiles to lift a bad mood. If, every so often, you like to kick back and enjoy some good, old fashioned twerking to the beats of Dirty Dancing, then power to you. Don’t let the haters tell you otherwise.

3. Wanting to see the world

Or don’t, it’s completely your decision. Do what makes YOU happy – not anybody else!

4. Having your cake and eating it too

If you want that second piece of biscuit cake or that third bag of Meanies…have it! Balance is the key.

5. Not living in the gym

While going to the gym is a really great way to feel good and keep fit and healthy, don’t let yourself get worked up if you miss a day.

5. Being a proud single pringle

Make the most of that single life, you’ll never regret it!

6. Or be proud and loved up

You’ll hopefully never regret this one either!

7. Being well mannered

So what you can’t tell that waiter he is being an a**, he probably knows anyway.

8. Not being a slave to fashion

So you don’t spend the vast majority of your wages in River Island? In this celebrity influenced, appearance drenched society, not dressing just like everyone else, is never a thing to feel guilty about.

9. Having odd tastes

Have you inherited a love of all things retro from your parents? Do you fail to see the appeal of Walter White or does the Game of Thrones hysteria baffle you? Not to worry. You fly that odd flag high and proud. It’s what separates and differs you. No guilt necessary.

via our content partner CT

11 things you learn growing up in Ireland

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Jul 1, 2014

by Amber Saunders

There are some things that can only be learnt from growing up on the island of Ireland. Such as these, for example:

1. Your boss will come into work hungover just as much as you do
It’s true. Never will you have a boss anywhere else in the world where they will arrive into work hungover just as much as yourself. It can be a good thing, but also a very bad thing.

2. Lots of Irish people leave and go to places like the USA, Canada or Australia
Emigration is in our history, and it hasn’t showed any signs of stopping any time soon. From the great Irish famine to the modern day. Is it simply because we like to travel or because the economy at home is gone to sh**? It’s a bit of both.

3. The Gardaí are actually a lenient brand of law enforcement
While you wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of the law, you release just how lucky you are to have the good ‘ole Gardaí when you travel and see all of the simply terrifying law enforcements around the world.

4. Every taxi man will bitch and moan about the Irish government
And everything else too, at 4am. Zzz…

5. NEVER will you ever have “just the one.”
Nope, it never happens that way.

6. We are the only people to say “bye” at least 10 times when hanging up the phone
“b-b-b-bye, bye, bye, bye…” Where did it come from? Why is it necessary to say goodbye this many times? Nobody knows, but it caught on and spread like wildfire.

7. Irish mothers are among the most worrisome in the world
They worry about everything from the clothes you are wearing to the food you’re eating. But we love them for it.

8. Old Irish men still wave to strangers in the street
Particularly in the more rural areas of the country, old men will wave at passing cars and nod to strangers in the street. Who doesn’t love a friendly old Irish man with a Paddy cap on his head and a wooden pipe in his mouth?

9. Ever Irish person freaks out and goes overboard when they see the sun
Sunburn! Sunburn galore! Every year it happens for a couple of weeks when the clouds disperse and the sun emerges, and EVERY year we learn the same lesson. Irish skin can’t hack the sun! We all end up looking like a baboon’s arse waddling around town in the summer.

10. A small country like Ireland can have a lot of different dialects!
How can a country so small have SO many different dialects?

8. There are lots of different ways Irish people can say “no.”
“You’re alright,” “nah,” “you’re grand.” None of these actually make sense outside of Ireland so we have to remind ourselves to speak common English when we go on holidays or are conversing with someone from abroad.

9. GAA fever is a passion unmatched in any other sport
Nothing can prepare you for the atmosphere inside Croke Park on a cup final day!

10. The word “craic” can be mistaken for something else outside Ireland
“What’s the craic? … That’s shite craic.” Or simply, “any craic?” A phrase often used by the common Irish person. However, you must be careful if using it abroad as you may quickly find yourself being offered some narcotics… It only applies in Ireland!

11. Irish people are among the happiest in the world
It’s amazing how happy and upbeat Irish people can be when we have the worst weather for 9 months every year. We’ve been troubled with famine, emigration and economic collapse and we’ve always come out the other side. Onwards and upwards lads!

via our content partner CT

10 great reasons to choose lads over girls as roommates

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Jul 1, 2014

by Amber Saunders

It doesn’t seem ideal to choose boys over girls when choosing a living partner – but here are some points that might change your mind!

1. You can burp at will (they’ll still find it gross but who cares)

2. You might improve your sports skills/ hand-eye co-ordination, as you will pick up techniques from the sports channel

3. There’ll be a great team of DIY amateurs on hand to assemble Ikea flatpacks or mend dodgy televisions

4. Their advice tends to be hilarious, if largely useless

5. You can pretend to be a comparative domestic goddess in the kitchen

6. You get to tease them about the girls they bring home

7. You might benefit from the batch of home-brew that they’ve been tirelessly caring for throughout the year

8. You’ll always have a drinking partner (see above)

9. You get to learn the truth about the mysterious male obsession with protein shakes, and even taste them! Ooh!

10. They know a surprisingly vast array of drinking games, picked up on various rugby tours / lads’ holidays

via our content partner CT

The emotional cycle of every girl’s morning

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Jun 30, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Morning are the absolute worst, aren’t they? Here are some things that run through every girl’s mind when that dreaded alarm clock goes off:

1. “Snooze, where’s snooze? SNOOZE !”

Ten minutes of bliss. Followed by ten more.

2. “I suppose I should really get up now.”

Ugh…why?

3. “Why did I stay up so late last night?”

You vow to be in bed at 9pm sharp tonight. We all know it won’t happen.

4. “Is there a job out there that doesn’t involve getting up before half eleven?”

…And still finish at 5pm? Thought so.

5. “Is my hair too greasy not to wash?”

Because those extra five minutes could go so far right now…

6. “Will I get away without make-up today?”

Struggle on girfriend…

7. “Oh crap, I have no clean clothes.”

Pulling things out left, right and centre just to put an outfit together is simply soul destroying.

8. “Breakfast or near starvation until lunch?”

It’s the most important meal of the day – ALWAYS have breakfast, ladies!

9. “Please GOD, don’t say it’s raining outside today.”

As you pull on those not-so-waterproof pumps you pray the skies don’t open and leave you with shivering puddle feet all day long.

via our content partner CT

Signs she is your one true BFF

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Jun 30, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Every girl needs that one person they can tell anything to and never be judged. In other words – a BFF! Here are the signs that you have a super good BFF:

1. She doesn’t judge you
We all make stupid decisions now and then, but she’ll never personally judge. Her concerns come from the heart as she only wants what’s best for you, and since she probably knows you better than yourself, she leaves you to learn from your mistakes and hopes for the best.

2. She always has time for you
Between exams, essays, work and other social commitments this girl will make time for you, even if it’s only for five minutes she’ll give you call if she can’t see you. This is how you know she is there for you because she cares and wants to be there for you, not because she feels she has to.

3. You always have the best laugh together
You could be grocery shopping, waiting for the bus or partying in Portugal, together you both have the most amazing laughs with minimal effort. Outsiders often wonder what on earth you’re laughing about, or how you go to the bathroom together and come back with a hilarious incident or how you never get tired of each other. Those who laugh together, stay together.

4. She’ll hook you up
She’ll wing-woman for you no matter what the occasion. You’ve got your eyes on someone, she will make that happen if you’re too scared to. Whether it’s strategically placing you in his eye sight, dragging him over to you or dragging you across the dancefloor and shoving you into him, she will make this happen.

5. She’ll be honest
She’ll tell you if your outfit is odd and won’t stop rolling around laughing because you look like a mess in your passport photo.

6. She never ceases to surprise you
“YOU DID WHAT!?!” Most of the time you think you know this girl more than she knows herself until she does something completely out of the blue. She’ll surprise you when you least expect it, and you love it.

7. You have your own language
Whether you read each other minds, have your own sign language or your conversations are purely based on private jokes or a combination of these, you both communicate on a deeper level than most friendships, or the rest of human society for that matter.

8. You grow together
You’ve known each other for years, and have been through life changing events with one another along the way, at this stage of planning out your life you don’t for a second imagine it without her being involved. You’ve already decided that you’re going to be each others maid of honour, have the same retirement home in mind and when you see two little old ladies together you immediately “That’s us in 60 years.”

9. If you both didn’t like boys, you’d probably marry each other
Who needs them anyway?

10. You trust her
You know you could put your life in this girl’s hand and she’ll do her best to protect it. You can tell her anything and not worry about her turning around and telling everyone. Your secrets are always safe with her.

11. Your morals are the same
Your hobbies and careers could be completely different, but at the end of the day you both have the same beliefs. This is one of the things which bonds you and your best friend together, you both share the same sense of right and wrong. Even if you break it once in awhile, she’ll understand and still love you.

12. You don’t have to act like best friends to be best friends
You don’t have to be glued to the hi[ to be close, you could both have completely different circles of friends, it does’t mean you are any less close.

13. She can make you laugh no matter what
No matter how awful the situation is, whoever broke your heart or how terrible your day was, she’ll always know that you need a nice cup of tea and a good laugh to help you through. Somehow she’ll make you believe everything will be just fine, or if not she’ll happily run away to set up a bar in Thailand with you.

14. You’ll do anything for each other
You both have a mutually understanding that you have the biggest amount of respect and love for each other and therefore will go with you to get the morning after pill, take a punch for her and defend each other to the ground if someone talks bad about her.

15. You see each other as sisters
Because if you think about it you basically are; you’ve spent many dinners together, you share everything and have accidentally damaged one another while doing something completely ridiculous. Even her own family considers you a relative and knows all about you.

16. There’s friendly competition
You may not be able to play poker without it ending in a childish argument, but you can certainly challenged each other to miscellaneous racing competitions, kill each other in Mario Kart or play stupid pranks on each other. You have your own stuff you are both competitive at, that most people wouldn’t understand.

17. She’ll make the effort if it’s important to you
“Fine, but I’m only doing it because you’re my best friend.” Whether it’s an awkward event you can’t bear going to alone or getting along with your new boyfriend whom she despises with every bone in her body, she’ll make the effort because you’re happiness is important to her.

18. You’re 100% comfortable around each other
You can burp, fart, urinate in front of each other and it generally doesn’t even shake either of you. You both just so comfortable with one another that your disgusting habits doesn’t have a scratch on what you think about each other. If her fart is horribly smelly you’ll just laugh it off, if her burp is outrageously loud you’ll be slightly impressed.

19. She keeps you grounded
We all get caught up in high expectations, hopeless dreams and materialistic things. She’ll remind you of how important the small things are in life, point out the not-so-great things about the new guy in your life and remind you what reality is, keeping your head out of the clouds, but encouraging you to aim for the stars.

20. You’re equal in your friendship
Caring about her as much as she does you is the best the way of knowing you’ll be best friends for life. If you both respect, admire, support and love each other than there’s no doubt you’ll be best friends for life. You both treasure this special bond you have with one another and respect the fact that you have each other no matter what happens you’ll be there for each other until the end.

Nawh.

via our content partner CT

The 10 lies all women tell one another

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Jun 30, 2014

by Amber Saunders

For some reason, us girls lie to each other about small things. Whether it’s about saving face or just trying to get one up on each other, here are some of the more classic things those frenemies (and besties!) are likely to tell you:

1. “He’s AMAZING in bed.”

While this one could be true if your bestie said it to you, if it comes from your frenemy, it is almost certainly a big fat lie!

2. “I wish I was single.”

No, you don’t. This is something that girls in relationships say to comfort their depressed single friends, especially after another night of failure on the man scene.

3. “Oh my god, no, I LOVE your boyfriend.”

Oh, the guy who took you away from me and now I have to see all the time? Don’t fall for this one…

4. “Yeah, she is a total bitch.”

Nine times out of ten, this is uttered about some girl that dares to speak to a boy you’ve been creeping on silently and from afar, for some time. The girl in question seems pretty sound to you, but for friendships sake, she’s the biggest bitch going. Still, we appreciate the gesture.

5. “No you do not look fat in that skirt.”

NEVER tell a girl she looks fat. Every girl knows this cardinal rule and to break it would be to buy your ticket out of the circle. It’s like Ross once told Chandler. Don’t even think about it. “Do I look fat?”. “NO.”

6. “No waaaaaaay have you gained weight.”

Again, as stated above. Fat+ Girl= End of friendship. When she’s feeling bigger than normal just pretend nothing has changed and then swiftly change the subject.

7. “It was sooooooo good to see you.”

It really wasn’t good to see you. It was actually pretty awkward, uncomfortable and just generally laced with small talk and so, if I don’t see you again for quite some time, I’ll be happy.

8. “Yeah, I’m literally on the way right now.”

30 minutes later and you are STILL waiting. Infuriating doesn’t even cut it.

9. “You look AMAZING in that picture. What other chin?”

Once again, we appreciate this lie.

10. “I am in no way drunk at all. I’m not even tipsy.”

You may be lying on the floor as you say this, but that does not make it any less of a lie.

via our content partner CT

10 things nobody in their 20s should worry about but do anyway

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Jun 20, 2014

by Amber Saunders

You finish work, everything is going dandy then bam! You find yourself in the middle of an unforeseen mid 20s crisis. Here are some things you don’t need to worry about in your 20s, but you do anyway!

1. A fully established career

They say that your twenties are for establishing yourself, career wise. Therefore, if you, similar to the other 91% of your peers, have either no job, a job that you detest or just don’t know what the hell you want to do with the rest of your life, then worry not. Get out there, travel, socialise, have fun and above all, keep trying. It’ll happen eventually.

2. Finding ‘The One’

By our age it’s likely that most of our parents were together, or even worse, were married. You on the other hand, well, you went on a date there around Christmas and paid for your own cinema ticket. Embrace the freedom and independence that comes with having to answer to nobody because it probably won’t last forever. One day you’ll meet the person that’s going to nag you for the rest of your life and you’ll then yearn for your single days.

3. Having the body of a Goddess

Right now is probably the last period in your life during which you can eat takeaway four times a week and not be obese. Celebrate this. From what we hear, it all goes downhill from here. As long as you’re healthy and active, then stop hating your body because when you look back at yourself when you’re 62 and your boobs and bum are brushing the floor, you’ll realise that actually, you were fairly hot.

4. Never owning your own house

At the rate with which the property market is increasing and the employment rate decreasing, this is becoming more and more likely every day. There are plus points to this, however. If, following the likely event you begin to hate a number of members of your house, you can pack up ship and move on, without the hassle of buying, selling and the mention of that thing we’ve all been afraid of since we first became aware of its existence. A Mortgage. *Cold sweats.*

5. Turning into your parents

Dear god, here’s hoping that this never happens. You are beginning to understand them more though. Whereas once you viewed your dad’s ridiculous and biased opinions as totally stupid, you’re now more than likely to agree with him. That’s ok. He was probably right all along. Doesn’t mean you’re turning into him just yet.

6. Being the oldest in the club

The greatest sign that you’re pushing on, time wise, is that horrific feeling that you get when you’re in a bar or club and the clientele are all young enough to worry about being underage. The easiest way to determine the average age of the clientele is by looking at their clothes. Is there an unnaturally high level of boobs and leg on display? Show them how it’s done, you old mover you. Shake that booty, or failing that, just snitch on them. Rage to be underage.

7. Appearing cool on social media

What the hell is Snapchat?

8. Forgetting everything you’ve ever learned

Your mid twenties is probably the first time in about 18 years that you won’t be returning to school in September. You can finally feel grown up and mature. You’re out in the real world now. Then one day it hits you. You’ve literally forgotten everything that you spent the entire of your speaking life learning. Down the swanny. Gonzo. Don’t panic. As long as you can read, write and speak in some form of audible tone, then all has not been lost. Most of it was useless anyway. *Ahem*

9. Your friends beating you at life

One minute you’re all there drinking your lives away on a Wednesday afternoon in college and then they all go off and get proper jobs and just generally succeed at being an adult, whilst you can’t yet change a lightbulb. You’ll catch up eventually. They probably wish they were as carefree as you and cry themselves to sleep every night anyway. Probably.

10. Being too old to drink so much that you nap in the toilets

The fear takes on a whole new meaning, when you begin to fear that you’re actually too old to be this hungover in the first place. You vaguely remember all of the 17-year-olds looking at you with a glance of disapproval, that’s usually only reserved for use by parents and teachers. You need to drown your sorrows somehow, mask the general feeling of impending age doom. Enjoy it now. When you reach 52 it may actually be too old and tragic to be acceptable.

via our content partner CT

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