The 18 things that Irish people always complain about

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Jun 13, 2014

Irish people love complaining. It’s a fact. Here are some of our favourite things to get mad about:

1. The weather forecast
“Ah sure, they said it was going to be sunny and I got lashed on, would they ever make up their mind”. The Irish have a really bad relationship with weather forecasters. Unless they bring good news of course.

2. The bus
Where do you start with the bus?! They are either always late or always early and take the most ridiculous route imaginable. It is also the most unsociable environment ever, and on a warm day it feels like a sauna where everyone’s body odour sort of mushes into one.

3. Politicians
It doesn’t matter who is in office, we will always complain about how they’re ruining the country, even in good times. Our Taoiseach could be Dustin the Turkey, sure it would be funny for a few weeks, but after that we would complain about how we voted in a Turkey.

4. Yanks
They all think that they’re Irish in someway and us Irish are sick of them saying: “Top of the morning to you” and “St.Pattys Days.” They think we’re leprechauns and that we all have ginger hair.

5. Bono
Ireland is divided on Bono. Half the country love him, the other half are jealous he doesn’t have to pay taxes.

6. The Eurovision
“Ah sure, they’re only voting for each other for God’s sake, we only have the Brits.” We have won it 7 times and we’re still complaining about The Eurovision. Ireland doesn’t do wacky, so we throw everything at them: ginger twins, blonde twins, a turkey… Anything!

7. Louis Walsh
We all wonder the same thing when comes it comes to Louis Walsh – how on earth he got on TV. In all fairness, for someone who looks like a failed fashion stylist he did pretty well for himself.

8. Ryan Tubridy
People young and old across the country have a united hatred for The Late Late Show presenter. “Ah no I don’t like him, sure look at him, he is so skinny that has to be unhealthy”. We still haven’t fully gotten over the loss of Ireland’s sweetheart Gay Byrne.

9. The Referee
Anytime there is a GAA match on we will always have a reason to complain. We complain when the ref keeps giving frees and then when he lets everything go. “Jaysus, they’re not a bunch as pansies, it isn’t soccer” or “Come one Ref!! he was pulling his shirt for feck sake”. We can never quite make up our mind.

10. The Kilkenny Hurling team
“Sure, they win it every year for god sake”. Everyone around the country rejoiced last years when someone other than Kilkenny won the Mcarthy Cup. Clare were heroes for a month when they toppled Kilkenny.

11. Eamon Dunphy
The world cup started yesterday and we will all be complaining about Eamon Dunphy’s analysis of the game. We all love to hate him … but now and again he is actually right.

12. Traveling abroad
Us Irish are used to travelling, generations have emigrated far and wide to greener pastures. No matter how many times we travel though, we always leave things to the last minute. Booking our flights, packing, boarding pass and then we forget we left the stove on at home.

13. “Your Man”
“Your know your man? He’s after cheating on his wife, awful all together it is”. Irish people always complain about “your man” and what he has been up to. Even though we don’t have a clue who you’re talking about, we have to act like we know.

14. The Late Late Show
No matter what is on the show, there is always something we can find to complain about. We know about how many letters RTE get when Tommy Tiernan comes on the show.

15. A bad pint
When someone pours a bad pint they might as well start all over again. There is nothing worse than when a pint is rushed and the head is wrong. You say to the barman that it’s grand, but inside you’re raging.

16. Weak tea
The Irish take their tea very seriously, it is in some ways a fine art. When you ask someone else to make you a cup and they don’t make it the way you like, we look at them as if to say “What it is this sh**!!

17. Bouncers
We take not being allowed into a club way too seriously, even though it’s their job.

18. The fear
Every Irish person experiences this on a weekly basis, waking up after a night out and not having a clue what happened the night before. Piecing the night together in your head and then you remember ... SH**!!

via our content partner CT

11 questions you should never ask a tall woman

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Jun 12, 2014

by Amber Saunders

People always assume that being tall is great and that we’re luckier than everyone else – but being tall isn’t always so hot! Here are some questions we are sick of answering:

1. “What HEIGHT are you?”
Taller than you. That’s all you need to know.

2.”Can you get that there?”
Used and abused for our height.

3. “You must get everywhere so much faster.”
Incidentally, yes. Yes we do.

4. “Flying must be fun for you?”
Flying isn’t fun for anyone. Ever. Fact.

5. “Let’s take a selfie. Can you lean down a bit there?”
Can you just stand on your tippie toes, please?

6. “Jesus, I’d love to see the height of you in heels.”
We don’t wear heels.

7. “Does Penneys have a tall girl section?”
On behalf of tall girls everywhere, we’d like to propose this genius idea to Penneys. Please, do your taller customers a massive favour and cut some clothes that will actually cover our bum.

8. “Are your parents really tall too?”
No.

9. “That shower’s a bit low, good luck with that.”
This really is the worst thing ever.

10. “Have you always been that tall?”
Have you always been this stupid?

11. “Finding a man taller than you must be tricky.”

via our content partner CT

The things every woman keeps in her bedside table

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Jun 11, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Yes, we’re hoarders and your bedside table always seems like such a good idea to hide all of those unmentionables … but why?!

Here are some of the more regular, and some not so regular items bound to be found in our bedside tables!

1. Passport
Surely every thief in the world must know where to look for a passport. Everyone uses their underwear drawer as a hiding place.

2. Condoms
If they’re not on your bedside locker then they’re probably in your knicker drawer. Because duh.

3. A box of cigarettes
You don’t smoke, but you bring them on nights out, and this is where they live in between.

4. Bizarre bra
It cost like 50 quid and you wore it one time.

5. Patterned tights
You know the ones that you bought because they were on sale in River Island for €2. You’ll probably end up throwing them out but for now they remain in the drawer unworn and useless.

6. Sexy underwear
You only pull out the big guns for special occasions. You know the exact pants that make your arse look great and the bra that is both flattering and sexy.

7. Granny pants- aka period pants
They’re seriously naff but so so comfy. Even though the elestic is clearly visible you still won’t throw them away.

8. The mini vibrator/sex toy
If there is one place you’re going to stash this it’s probably in here..

9. Mismatched selection of socks
Well this is exactly what you’d expect to find in here. Life is too short to oraganise socks and this is why you can never find a decent pair.

10. Sale items from Ann Summers that you will never ever wear. Ever.
You know the stuff- with straps that you can’t figure out – It kind of scares you a little bit to be honest. Seemed like a good idea at the time though!

11. The Bridget Jones suck-in knickers
You probably bought these for your cousin’s wedding a few years back but they are always there for emergencies. You just hope that know one will ever have to see you in them.

.

12. Bullet proof padded bra
You know the one. The bra that is so padded it could literally protect your boobies from an AK47. It also gives you unrelastic expectations of your cleavage. False advertising.com.

13. Stockings
You bought them to be sexy but every time you attempt to wear them you end up ripping them to shreds. WHY are they so uncomfy?! You just wanted to be Dita Von Teese.

14. Tanning mitt
Raggedy old thing, but always pulled out for nights out.

15. Coppers/pennies
An assortment of currency from countries that you haven’t even been to.

16. Your ex boyfriends old boxers
That you should probably throw away but still wear occasionally… mainly because they’re too comfy to throw out.

via our content partner CT

9 questions you should never ask short women

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Jun 11, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Us short girls don’t have it so easy. Between having to prove just how tough we really are and having to answer your stupid questions, it’s exhausting. Here are some questions you shouldn’t ask a short woman, ever:

1. “Can I pick you up?”
Drunken strangers think it’s perfectly acceptable to pick us up, throw us over their shoulders and do laps of the nightclub dancefloor. So not okay.

2. “How old are you?”
Just because we are small, doesn’t instantly make us 11 years-old!

3. “How are you so small?”
There’s always an emphasis on the “small”. Why are you so tall?

4. “Do you have to shop in the kids section?”
Sometimes. That’s where all the bargains are as well as the pink sparkly shoes so IN YOUR FACE!

5. “How can you eat so much?”
Does our height somehow dictate the size of our stomachs?

6. “Could you fit in there? How bout in there?”
We appreciate your curiosity, and we’ve probably wondered if we could fit in the washing machine too.

7. “Do you want me to put you on my shoulders?”
Usually asked at gigs, this is a really nice gesture. We do appreciate the fact that you’re looking out for us and know that it’s almost impossible for us to see the gig if not at the very front or the very back.

8. “Can I lean on you?”
Using us as an elbow rest is so not cool, you’re squishing our necks!

9. “Can I keep you?”
This is kind of nice, although it’s very patronising. We’re often seen as the kittens of the human race. People love to pet us and cuddle us, it’s kind of weird.

via our content partner CT

Terrible relationship advice we all believed when we were teenagers

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Jun 10, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Here are some things we all belived about love when we were naive teenagers, thank God we’ve grown up…

1. X’s are key to success

The amount of X’s he put at the end of a text measured how much he loved you. Fact.

2. Who is the other half of you?

If you didn’t have another half of Bebo, you were no one.

3. Showcase your love at every given chance

PDA’s were a part of life back in your teen years. The more you shifted him in public, the more people knew he was YOURS!!

4. Pet names are an essential aspect of any relationship

“Hey baaaaabe” … “Snugglebunny” … can anyone say PUKE?! And also, “criiinge” on remembering that we too did this back in the day.

5. Being Cupid is your main talent in life and you should probably pursue it as a career

Pity it wasn’t a subject in the Leaving Cert you thought to yourself on the day of the repeats.

6. A minimum of fifty texts a day must be sent, or it is not true and viable love

Seriously, the amount of credit you went through is frightening.

7. Putting out does not make you easy, it makes you unbelievably cool

Once again, fuelling those cringey memories we have to live with.

8. They say personality is the most important thing, but looks are all that really matter

Sure, you got to shift the hottie from the hurling team, but then all he talked about for four whole weeks was…well, hurling! So not worth the street cred.

via our content partner CT

8 TV shows we watched as kids that are actually not suitable

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Jun 10, 2014

by Amber Saunders

In hindsight, some of these shows are actually incredibly unsuitable for little kids, what were our parents thinking?! Then again, we turned out okay…right?

1. Ren and Stimpy
How this ever got classed as a kid’s show is beyond us. It’s gross and has so many sexual undertones it’s unbelievable!

2. Braceface
The show’s composition of having it’s main character as an insecure teenage girl (Sharon) with braces is bad enough in itself. Throughout the series, Sharon’s braces would often act as magnets causing her to get into embarrassing situations. The show basically taught teenage girls that braces will bring you nothing but embarrassment and unwanted attention.

3. Arthur
There isn’t anything morally wrong with Arthur and his animal friends; he’s a good kid, who sometimes fights with his little sister D.W and gets into trouble, but he always learns his lesson. But he’s no craic. You can feck right off with your library card lads.

4. The Magic Schoolbus
The thoughts of going to school and having your lizard-loving teacher taking you on daily school trips to the past, the universe or wherever was mind-blowing. But on reflection, it’s very possible that Ms. Frizzle was slipping the kids acid in their juice box on the daily.

5. Shin-Shan
In this Japanese magna series, which was usually only shown at 6am, we followed the shenanigans of Shin Chan. A cheeky little fellow, who loved pulling down his pants and sticking sparklers in his arsehole. A bit of a laugh as a child if you ask me, but as a parent? No way.

6. Pokèmon
Animal rights anyone? Anyone?

7. The Wild Thornberrys
Eliza nearly died in almost all of those episodes. Shouldn’t we be teaching children NOT to approach dangerous jungle animals? Like, seriously?

8. The Rugrats
Absolute rascals. This show encouraged its young viewers to use their imagination when it came to adventures. But what it actually taught us was that you’ll always have more fun if you disobey your parents and go for an adventure in prohibited places.

via our content partner CT

18 best childhood crazes ’90s kids went through

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Jun 9, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Every young Irish person lived through these crazes during the ’90s – from Pokemon to Bebo, we loved them all!

1. Pokemon
Pokemon was probably the biggest craze of the ’90s; from video games to collecting cards, you had to catch them all! Sorry…

2. Yu-Gi-Oh!
Slightly less popular (or cool) as Pokemon, nonetheless this craze had a massive following back in the ’90s and early ’00s.

3. Polly Pocket
Every girl had a Polly Pocket – and all the cool girls had LOADS of Polly Pockets. Looking back, those small parts cannot be good for kids to play with.

4. Tamagotchi
These were supposed to be like having a pet without actually having a pet. When they got abandoned after a week, we finally realised why we weren’t allowed to get a dog after all.

5. Light-Up runners
These made you run faster. Fact. Not good to wear during Hide n’ Seek.

6. Scooters/Skateboards/Rollerblades
These are all still pretty cool, but our tricks have gotten a little rusty.

7. Learning to draw this
And it was always way cooler of your name began with an ‘S’!

8. Paper fortune tellers
It didn’t matter how many of these were confiscated, you can always make more.

9.Polyphonic Ringtone
When you give out about teenagers blasting their annoying music over their phones, remember that you used to be one of them. Except you were ten times more annoying because it was ringtones you were blasting!

10. Crazy Frog

Historically the most annoying sound on the planet.

11. Snake
This amazing game is still so addictive and fun if you can find an old enough Nokia to play the original on!

12. Scoubidou bracelets
They look so intricate but once you get the hang of it you give one to everyone you know. Including you nan.

13. Charity Wristbands
Not just for a good cause, if you had these, you were the coolest kid around.

14. MSN
Aww, staying up till midnight chatting over messenger to ‘that boy’ – we really hope those convos have been deleted forever.

Bebo
Bebo stunnahhs 2k07 4eva oh yeah!

via our content partner CT

We all got a little bit crazy during some of these fads. The only hope can be that you didn’t lose too many friends over any of them, and that scare from the fight you had with your best friend over a Charizard Pokemon card isn’t that noticeable anymore.

Embarrassing things you do when you totally fancy a guy

Relationships

Jun 6, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Yes, some of this is creepy, but we just can’t help ourselves. Deal.

1. Flick through ALL of their Facebook photos
No matter how far they go back, you always check them all, possibly even more than once .

2. Constantly check when they were last on Facebook/Whatsapp
We know we shouldn’t..but we do.

3. Check what they’ve ‘Liked’ on Facebook
Well, we need to know if they’re going to be compatible with us or not, don’t we?!

4. Pretend songs you hear on the radio are about you and your crush
If only you could ACTUALLY sing…

5. Have imaginary conversations with them in your head
We’re not proud of it, but it happens from time to time.

6. Always thinking of a way to start a conversation
But never actually doing it.

7. Pretend they’re in the bed beside you when you sleep
And in our dreams, they really are. Okay fine, it’s weird, we’ll stop.

via our content partner CT

Signs that you grew up as an only child

Relationships

Jun 6, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Everyone can always tell when someone is an only child. But they never think of the things WE had to deal with as a result of being an only child. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows y’know!

1. Dealing with people who say: “But you don’t seem like an only child”

What does that even mean?

2. Two-player video games are always a bit tricky

Teddy = Player Two. Weep.

3. People who accuse you of being a bit spoilt

Thing is, sometimes you ARE a little selfish…Oh well. Hey, that’s MINE!!

4. The way twins relate to The Parent Trap

5. You relate to The Shining

6. You get VERY close with your BFF because they’re like a sibling to you

7. In general, you tend to prefer the company of older people

Because kids be cray.

8. ’90s TV shows made you a bit sad. There were so many siblings!

9. Apart from Sabrina of course

10. One Christmas you even asked Santa for a little brother

Guess he got stuck in the chimney

11. You’re not great at confrontation

You were never wrestled by an older brother, how do people even fight?

12. People LOVE asking you if you had imaginary friends as a kid

In fact you were friends with the friends of those imaginary friends.

13. You’re still learning how ‘housemates’ work

The basics of cohabitation don’t come naturally.

14. At times your parents were a little overbearing

15. Small talk kind of ends when people ask: “Do you have siblings?”

16. Christmas isn’t a great turn out

17. The whole unwrapping of the presents never takes very long

18. But in general being an only child is AWESOME

19. Only child = the best child!

via our content partner CT

This might be the best break up we have EVER seen!

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Jun 5, 2014

by Amber Saunders

When @KaneZipperman‘s girlfriend cheated on him, he decided to get the ultimate revenge.

In this epic messaging conversation, Kane replies using hilarious memes and we love it!

While we do think he may have been a bit harsh, we reckon he was pretty hurt by the whole thing.

Plus, it really made us laugh!

Things that every Irish person does on their holidays

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Jun 5, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Don’t lie, you have done each and every one of these at least once during your holliers.

1. Letting everyone know you have arrived safely
Whether you check-in online or text your mammy, there is a serious guilt if you do not instantly let people know you are there safely once your plane hits the runway.

2. Complaining about the weather
“Jeeeeesus lads, it’s humid!” You’d miss the clear Irish air all the same, like.

3. Lathering on the factor 50
Because sunburn hurts, that’s why.

4. Asking where all the tourist attractions are
There’s no feckin shame in asking!

5. Dressing like a tourist
Yup, we see you, with your massive hat and birkenstocks. It’s like seeing a North Face jacket in Ireland and instantly knowing it’s an American tourist.

6. Eating the same food you do at home
“‘I’ll have the bacon and cabbage please.”

7. Assuming everyone speaks English
Just because you speak louder, doesn’t mean they understand you any more.

8. “Sure, you wouldn’t see that in Ireland now”
All that kissing and cuddling – Jaysis!

9. Buying crappy souvenirs
Sure everyone loves a key ring!

10. Speaking Irish
You haven’t a word, except “amadan,” which incidentally, is the only one you need.

11. Going to Irish pubs
You leave Ireland just to spend your entire holiday in a place that looks exactly like your local.

12. Doing the country proud
We have a reputation for drinking and when we go abroad, we feel the need to reaffirm it. This is usually done in the form of drinking so much that you blackout for the rest of the holiday.

via our content partner CT

The 8 most irritating people you’ll meet on the bus

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Jun 4, 2014

by Amber Saunders

Public transport is never easy. But these people make it ten thousand times worse.

1. The phone person
Who needs to have a two-hour conversation on a bus? Seriously?

2. The raver
Prodigy at 6.30am? And is that red bull we smell? Good Lord. More power to them.

3. The PDA couple
What ARE they doing back there? Judging by the sounds, we feel we’re better off not knowing. *shudder*

4. School children
Teenagers scare the crap out of us. The screaming, the loud music, the scarily heavy bags that could kill us in one sudden turn.

5. The person who needs a seat for their bag
Is there anyone more rude in this world than the person that gives you a dirty look as they move their bag from the empty seat? Do they think we WANT to sit next to them? That ANY of this is our choice?!

6. The smelly person
Gagging.

7. The person who waits until they’re on the bus to get their money out
The bus is 30 minutes late as it is – what HAVE you been doing?

8. The person who doesn’t thank the bus driver when they get off
It’s an unwritten rule – what the hell?

via our content partner CT

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