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Whether you’re in Mary I, St. Pats, Marino, or any other form of “teacher training” college, you know that we as the future educators of our nation’s youth have a variety of problems that others just don’t understand. From placement to assignments, we’re subjected to a variety of problems that you just won’t find anywhere else. So here is just a sample of the many student teacher problems faced every year:

1. The subjects

Confused-Little-Girl-Is-At-Loss-For-Words

Upon entering college as freshers, students are expecting to be challenged in terms of learning and amounts of alcohol consumed and while it’s safe to say the latter is most definitely true, the subjects studied can sometimes leave a lot to be desired for.

2. The stale jokes

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“Teaching? I suppose you’re only in it for the holidays!” Every. Time.

3. Spotting pupils in public

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Don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact…Damn. Queue awkward wave.

4. Studying for exams

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Nothing is quite like a group of student teachers studying for upcoming exams. Tensions run high, people break down and you begin to convince yourself that primary school Irish has definitely gotten harder.

5. Explaining the course to your friends

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There is nothing quite like the look on your friends faces when you explain you can’t go out because you have to make a powerpoint based on two websites for kids. There is little joy in having to explain your course to your friends simply because they will refuse to believe that what you do is tough, which makes the fact you barely passed a module even worse.

6. Placement

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This is what every student teacher looks forward to. THIS is why you wanted to do teaching right? To stand up at the top of the class and see students learning material for the first time. You taught them this, they’d be nothing without your charts and materials and worksheets.

What nobody tells you is that those charts, materials and worksheets take time. Spending 4+ hours preparing materials for the following day became a reoccurring ritual and the sound of a printer churning out worksheet after worksheets can make even the sanest person begin shouting nonsensical abuse at the machine.

Lord help you if you run out of ink or laminator sheets after the shops close.

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Break-ups are never easy and often it can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Here are just some of the emotions you will feel after a relationship ends.

1. At first, you’re all like: “I’m freeeeee.”

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2. Then whisky sets in

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3.Self-pity takes over

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4. You purposely say no to social plans just in case your ex is there

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5. Then you find out they are already in another relationship! 

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6. So, you just sit in the dark, cuddling a bottle of wine. Obviously not the best idea. 

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7. Then you come to the realisation: “It was all THEIR fault!”

you did this

 

8. You try to find closure by deleting them from all social media outlets along with any photo of them anywhere. And their friends too. 

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9. And you get all of your family to do the same. 

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10. Then you run into them out of the blue

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11. And hooking up is only natural, right?

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12. So, what now?

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13. And then it all happens all over because there was a reason you broke up in the first place

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14. But, after all that, you only wish them the best in life. 

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1. “It has nothing to do with you.”
Oh ya, they just left because THEY were needy and obsessed. Sure.

61c61837bd431935f63af7ee8baca0862. “You’re better off without them.”
But we don’t feel like that.

85b3. “They’ll never find someone as good as you.”
The following week you see them with that Miranda Kerr look-a-like who works in BT’s. Crap.

Understatement-Century4. “You’ll find someone again soon.”
Ya sure. Do you know how long it took to find that one?

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5. “They are going to regret this.”
No, you did do that massive thing you shouldn’t have. They won’t regret it.

80267666. “Now you get to enjoy the single life!”
Back here again? Seriously.

c1958cb2317bde950dd972f7b7775416073a8f0b18133dd980fbeae7127c7d377. “You’ll forget all about this one day.”
This hurt? Not a chance.

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1. Too much body hair
No, no, no. What IS that peeping out of your shirt? NO!

use this one2. The smoker/drug user
Smokey breath? No thanks. Acting like drugs are the coolest thing on earth while dancing like maniac? Double no thanks.

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3. The one in a relationship with his abs
He’s obsessed with himself, and the gym.. all he talks about is working out! Oh hey Mr.Abercrombie and Fitch.. did you buy you top in the children’s section so your muscles would try to escape out the sleeves? #weknow

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4. No aspirations in life
So he’s left school/college, has no job, and has no intentions of getting one either.. This guy is more than happy to sign on each month, and get paid to drive around in his Passat, creeping 17 year olds. He doesn’t have a plan in life, or hasn’t set any goals.

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5. Dirty Runners
Where will you get in looking like that? We’re not waiting outside with you #thatsforsure

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6. The show off
No one likes a show off, so be modest and charming and you will win the race.

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7. Poor Hygiene
This is vital. Smelly breath/underarms and anything else you may need to address is detrimental to how far you will get with us ladies.

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8. The Gas Man
Okay so if we’ve been with you for like, 2 years, it may be something we need to live with. But on the second date? Seriously? It was one of those silent killers too…

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9. Irresponsible
Grow. Up. Clean your house, pay your rent and your bills like a grown up.

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10. The Beauty Queen
Oh, you take longer to get ready than we do? *closes door*

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They stalk the library, they head home for the entire study week or they crawl into a ball and cry. Which person do you become during exam season?

1. The Confident Planner
Before even opening the paper and attempting to read any of the questions, you write down the exact time you’re allowing yourself for each section. You got this.


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2. The Brave Level-Headed Soldier
If the soundtrack to your life was available, you would hear the pounding force of ‘Eye of the Tiger’ or the soaring string melody that plays as William Wallace fights for Scotland and FREEDOM. Armed and ready with your brand new pen in hand, and channelling every motivational speaker you watched in the last few weeks, you underline everything you think is important , making you feel in control; while the exam may take your life (social that is…let’s not be extreme) IT WILL NEVER TAKE YOUR FREEDOM: Enter William Wallace…

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3. The Extreme Worrier
You have hightlighted your ENTIRE book and nothing has gone into your head. Nothing.

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4. Self-loather
Just should have started studying sooner. Whyyyyy!

 

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5. Lurker
If you sit in the library long enough, somebody will help you. Somebody. “Hey, you! What questions are you planning? Can I see your notes?”

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6. The Creative improvisation master
Wing it. Be grand.

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7. The Optimist.
It can’t be worse than the Leaving Cert, so who cares?!

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Dating can be a very awkward experience, especially in the early stages when you know nothing about each other and try to present the best possible portrait of yourself. You try and hide your embarrassing secrets and are both trying to figure out if you really like one another enough to pursue the relationship any further. Maybe some of these awkward moments ring a bell?

1. The first time you go to hold their hand.
This can be a difficult moment to judge. When is the “appropriate time” to hold their hand. You’re wondering if they’re thinking the same thing but struggle to get a good read of the situation.

rejected-o2. Getting food in your teeth
Getting home from your date, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and notice an enormous piece of spinach hanging between your two front teeth! How long has it been there? Did they notice? WHY didn’t they say anything?!

Capture3. How to pay the bill?
Is he going to pay the bill or maybe you should offer? Or maybe you should go halves? Oh, we just don’t know.

date_man_paying_bill4. Trying to hide that you’re seeing a couple of people at once
What if they think you’re exclusive?

giphy5. Ordering the chicken wings
There is officially no way to do this gracefully.

giphy6. When it’s time to have “the talk!”
Oh no, you’re so not ready for this!

giphy7. You have to use the bathroom.
It’s inevitable.

giphy8. Seeing each other naked
Seeing each other in the nip for the first time can be awkward, especially if one, or both of you, are self-conscious about parts of their bodies. Just know that if one of you is self-conscious, then the other is probably as well.

jjj1. Do you go for the hug or the kiss?
The age-old dilemma of how to say goodbye to your date – do you go for the ass-out friendly hug, a cute peck on the cheek or go ultra-attacking and lean in for the kiss on the lips? Pay attention to the signals that the other is giving off because they will be thinking about the same problem as you are. Don’t over-analyse it. Find the middle ground on your first date and then take it from there next time around. Save yourself the embarrassment!

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The professional procrastinator has the ability to see an interest in every single thing around them…except what they should be doing. Have you experienced any of these?

1. Sleeping.

You have a few days extra at home before you have to make the trek back to college, and everyone knows that no bed is as comfortable as your bed at home.

2. Binge watching netflix series

3. Obsessively painting nails a different colour…every hour

4. Trying out every single hairstyle on Lauren Conrad’s website

5. Shopping

6. Downloading new music

Illegally downloading tonnes of tracks to get your pre-drinks playlist ready for summer. Sure it doesn’t even take that long!

7. Dancing.

8. Playing an instrument.

Sure the parents will only be delighted that you’ve taken an interest in the violin after the years of lessons they forced you to take.

9. Trying out new make-up looks

10. Making millions of cups of tea

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So you’ve been going out with this guy for a while, but there’s no sign of his friends – what’s going on? Don’t be alarmed just yet, here are some perfectly reasonable explanations.

1. He’s embarrassed by them. 

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They’re not the most mature bunch…

2. He acts differently around them. 

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He might think you’re not going to like the way he is when he’s with them. Maybe they bring out the binge-drinking idiot in him, or the giant nerd, or the guy who can only speak in South Park references.

3. They’re dicks. 

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4. He’s not that close with them. 

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Some people don’t really surround themselves with close friends, just drinking buddies or casual acquaintances. He might just not have anyone that he feels is important enough to meet you and vice versa.

5. They’re party animals. 

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Maybe his friends are so YOLO-CHUG-THIS-BEER-BONG-HOW-MUCH-WEED-CAN-YOU-FILL-YOUR-LUNGS-WITH-AT-ONCE intense that he’s afraid of bringing you around and scaring you off forever.

6. They don’t live nearby.

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 Some people stay great friends with their high school buddies, and after everyone goes to school and gets jobs and shuffles around the world, meeting up with them for an introduction might not be that feasible. Don’t freak out if he hasn’t arranged for a visit by three months. You’ll meet them eventually.

7. He thinks you don’t want to meet them. 

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He might just assume you have no interest in meeting his friends. It never hurts to tell him, “He sounds fun. When can we all hang out?” Communication!

8. He doesn’t think you’re that serious.

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 Meeting his friends is like meeting his parents: he’s declaring that he plans on you being in his life for a while. If you guys are still in the casual dating phase, or he thinks you are, he’s probably not going to bring you around just yet.

9. He hasn’t met your friends, either. Even though they’re so nice. 

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Men constantly complain about how complicated women are. The fact of the matter is, we’re really not. In fact, most of the time we’re fairly easy to decode, understand and please, you’re probably just not totally sure what’s going on in our minds. So, to help you, here is a list of things we say that are definitely lies.

1. “I’m Fine”

tumblr_mmp6soGieL1spaaixo1_500 (1)Ooh, she is 100% NOT fine!

2. “No Presents Please… It’s grand”

tumblr_mxz1k1ezUJ1stgrfzo1_400For the love of humanity, get the girl a present!

3. Oh these legs, nah they’re just naturally this smooth and shiny.”

tumblr_mo9smavzxw1rijmvyo1_500 LIES, IT’S ALL LIES. We did not just wake up with legs that could feature on a Gillette Venus ad. It’s tough maintenance, sometimes painful, always annoying.

4. “I’ve absolutely no make up on”

tumblr_n46x9o6Vzt1qac1soo2_500If we didn’t, you would know.

5. “No, I Don’t Creep On Other Men..ever”

tumblr_n48wzga8cD1t70ckxo9_r1_250Just like you don’t creep on any other women..oh wait.

6. “I’m not drunk…”

tumblr_mfvexeka8W1ra8b8oo1_500Sometimes I LIKE sleeping on the bathroom floor, gotta problem with that?

7. “Penneys, €5”

tumblr_m9894iiQbY1rxdvy7o1_400This one might be true, or it could have been 120 euro in Topshop.

8. “I’m not into gossip”

tumblr_n14rkuvHWM1qk08n1o1_500…But did you HEAR about Mary?!

9. “My dad really likes you”

tumblr_n2cb69cjPo1tqs1heo1_500Nope.

10. “I’m OK”

tumblr_inline_n30nycAhR61s778dpSee number one.

11.  “There’s nothing I’d change about you..”

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Except maybe the hair, clothes…and the laugh can go too.

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If you’ve worked in retail for any amount of time you’ve probably developed a smoking habit, cynical attitude and lost hope in humanity.

Dealing with rude customers, annoying managers, and endless shifts all for minimum wage should be recognised as a crime.

These are the things that every retail worker has had to endure in their time.

1. Being expected to stop thieves
You work on the register or in the stock room, but somehow you’re also expected to tackle a 6″5′ fleeing thief. Hire a security guard for Christ’s sake, that’s not in your job description.

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2. Customers throwing money on the counter rather than placing it in your outstretched hand.
There is nothing more infuriating than this ignorant a**hole! Clearly seeing your hand waiting to accept the money, they drop their change on the counter and expect you to pick it up, one coin at a time.

f3. When you have to tell a customer their card is declined
The awkward face EVERY retail worker makes at this moment.

468750664. Customers making a mess
You sometimes feel like they are doing this purely to piss you off!

giphy5. Rude customers
There is nothing worse than having to deal with an ignorant customer, struggling maintain that fake smile on your face.

22jCQ276. Customers letting their kids run wild and free
If you must go shopping with your complete family, for the love of God, please don’t bring them all up to the register to pay. Believe it or not, only one person is needed for this mighty task.

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7. Dealing with “cute” couple fights over who is paying.
Just give me the money. Go enact your strange financial foreplay somewhere else.

giphy8. Wandering off in the middle of a transaction
Someone sees cousin Mary enter the store and leaves during the transaction to catch up on the last thirty years.

giphy9. Customers blaming you for stuff out of your control
Someone freaks out at you because the price isn’t what it says on the label. They seem to feel like your job is also to MAKE the prices, but this is actually not the case. Find someone else to take out your frustration of being overcharged €2 on.

544239_348765011900240_436290346_n10. The fake laugh and smile you’ve mastered
Everybody has their fake retail smile. It gets harder and harder to maintain the longer you work there!

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11. People paying you with a mountain of change
Yes, we don’t mind taking your change but within bloody reason. We don’t want to count 2000 1c coins when there’s a queue of 10 people behind you!

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12. The Customer is almost NEVER right!
Vehemently arguing that a product is overpriced, only for us to show you that you were actually looking at the completely wrong label, or you hadn’t realised that the price was in EURO, not pound sterling!

giphy13. You and your friends work completely different shifts
The little fun you used to have in work has been taken away from you by your manager. Now you’re stuck working with the employees your least compatible with, in order to ensure you’re never happy at work.

giphy14. “Can I pay part card/part cash?”
WHY do you have to be so awkward? You really shouldn’t have to divide up a subtotal of €15 by cash and card.

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15. Customers who move at an obnoxiously slow pace when there is a massive queue behind them
Anybody who moves THAT slow clearly is doing it on purpose. I don’t care how old you are. Shift it sister!

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16. A half hour break is simply not enough for the hell you have to put up with each day
Time doesn’t seem to apply during working hours. 30 minutes break is a totally different amount of time than 30 minutes on the register.

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17. You agree to cover someone’s shift and immediately wish you could go back in time to change your decision
“Why did I just do that?” The worst part is that the other person never returns the favour.

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18. A customer has mistaken you for a qualified therapist
We don’t want to hear about your life struggles at 5pm on a Tuesday evening. Just take your purchases and head for the exit please.

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19. People entering the shop and meandering around the store at closing time!
Are these people actually serious? Despite what they might think, we actually do have other things to do and would like to leave when our shift ends. If you want to wander aimlessly around the store at closing time, please pay me extra for allowing you to do do.

tumblr_mmwl07l8gx1rt9ukxo1_50020. Trying to text without your boss seeing you
Texting your friends under the register that you’ll need them to pick you up a copious amount of alcohol to forget about your job for the briefest of moments, without your boss catching you.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-11572-1381172380-921. Having to deal with drunk or high customers
The worst of the worst. Slurring their words and gazing hopelessly into your eyes. The stink of alcohol pouring into your nostrils as you try your best to deal with their dire antics.

giphy22. Telling a customer that there is in fact a queue in your store
Yes, there is actually a line that you must enter, not just burst your way to the head of the register. And then they get pissy with you for telling them nicely.

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23. The terribly annoying retail jokes that we hear ALL the time
You’ll immediately recognise these. “Do you take cash?” Haha good one! Yes, we do actually accept cash… Now hand it over.

giphy24. Infuriating “witty” retorts from customers
when an item doesn’t scan: “It must be free.” Or even worse. You’ve endured a 3 hour blitz of customers and are enjoying your first sip of water and the temporary silence, when you here: “Oh you must need something to do?!”

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25. You’re not above breaking your phone in order to avoid being called into work on your day off
You’ve thought about it. Either turning your phone off or pinging it off a wall because you just give up. Nothing is worse than going into that place on your day off.

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26. Your outlook on life has completely changed after working in retail
You’ve developed a cynical attitude and your hope for humanity is completely drained.

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The mammy in the friend group has a serious amount of sh** to deal with, if you do most of these things then it’s probably you…

1. You’re enthusiastic about EVERYTHING
Being the mummy of the group is all about the enthusiasm. Whenever a friend says things like  I got a new job/ boyfriend/ apartment, they will be met with an excited scream of OH MY GOD that is so GREAT, I’m soooo EXCITED for you- AHHHHH!!

emma-stone-excited2. Your handbag contains every item known to man
Your handbag has enough supplies for any situation that could possibly occur: food, make-up, wet wipes, hand sanitizer, 5 shades of lipstick, safety pins and a mini toothbrush…

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 3. You know your tea
The mom of the group knows how everyone drinks their tea and can literally remember who takes half a spoon of sugar or who doesn’t take milk..

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 4.  You’re fierce
Nobody messes with your friends- if anyone does they can expect a serious talking to. You don’t want to get on this girl’s bad side.

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 5. You’re responsible for the Saturday night round up
Rounding everyone up on a Saturday night can be hell. John wants to go to supermax, Eva will only to to Eddie rockers, Siobhan is sitting outside crying and Dean is shifting the face of some young one in the smokers area. It’s the mum of the group’s  job to get everyone in a taxi and back home.

giphy-26. Snacks are your forte
Moms of the group always make sure no one else is hungry. When anyone comes over there is chocolate, crisps and popcorn. Hungry guests are a mom’s worst enemy.  You got this!

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 7. You’re in charge of drunk naps
The mum of the group always puts everyone to bed after a night out, she also puts drunky Niamh in the recovery position.

giphy-68. You’re a die hard listener
You’ve heard your best friend go through every little detail of her past break up about 75 times and yet you still listen to her. As the mum of the group you are always listening to everyone else’s problems because you give the best advice.

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 9. You always know the best words of encouragement
The mum of the group never loses her endearing sense of optimism. She’s the one who sends you little encouraging texts and messages and says things like  “Of course you don’t look fat” “You are DEFO going to pass that exam” “He’s an idiot not to like you”.

britneycriesandclaps_zpsb6e2e7b710. You get asked to do the dogs work
“Can you help me with my drivers licence form?”, “How do I do my tax back?”, “Will you come with me to get an STD check?” All questions you hear frequently.

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