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loneliness

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For some of us, face-to-face contact while your mental health is at a low point can be incredibly difficult.

According to researchers at Ohio State University, people who describe themselves as lonely and socially anxious are more likely to become addicted to dating apps.

269 college students were surveyed for the study, which found that participants who referred to themselves as anxious and lonely were increasingly addicted to the online platforms.

Addiction can be described as a habit which interferes with your daily life, be it your mental health, physical health, work life, friendships, romantic relationships, family life or school life. 

One of the lead researchers said of the results that socially anxious people must watch their habits more; "Especially if you're lonely, be careful in your choices. Regulate and be selective in your use."

The more mindful practice is called 'slow dating' and it can increase the quality of your dating app matches.

Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OKCupid have made it possible for people to access a wide dating pool, but the consequences of this could be negative for those who deal with chronic loneliness.

To test this, researchers had students answered online survey questions like "Are you constantly anxious around other people?" to determine their levels of social anxiety and loneliness.

They were also asked whether they agreed with statements like "I am unable to reduce the amount of time I spend on dating apps." A sense of security was found online, rather than in person.

The researchers discovered that people with higher levels of social anxiety claimed they preferred to meet people on dating apps rather than in person, and favoured socialising via messaging.

Many of these people with social anxiety may lack confidence in their own social skills, and can seek protection on these apps form face-to-face rejection or awkwardness.

When those in the survey reported being both socially anxious and lonely, they also used dating apps to the point of addiction.

However, students who said they were anxious but not lonely, or those who said their feelings of loneliness were only low to moderate, didn't display behaviours that suggested addiction.

The small study relied on self-reported data from students, so don't be overly worried about your constant dating app use. Mindfulness is still a priority, for your health and dating prospects.

Creating limits surrounding dating apps could benefit both your mental health and your chances of scoring a decent date.

Bear in mind that your motive should be healthy. It's a dangerous notion to rely on interest from men or women for your own happiness or self-esteem.

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Despite many young adults often seen to be enjoying active social lives, a new study has found that they are actually more likely to experience feelings of loneliness when compared to every other age group. 

The research found that almost 10 per cent of people aged between 16 and 24 admitted to feeling lonely "always or often" – more than three times higher than people aged 65 and over. 

One theory behind the figures, is that older people could become "resilient" to the sense of isolation, with researchers explaining that these types of feelings "tend to decrease with age." 

"It's possible that people become more resilient to loneliness as they get older, possibly through the experience of significant life events and life transitions," says the study.

Some reports suggest that social media could be to blame for the increasing loneliness among young people. 

According to bbc.com, Cal Strode, of the Mental Health Foundation, explained:

 "Teens can have thousands of friends online and yet feel unsupported and isolated. Technology, including social media, could be exacerbating social isolation." 

What's more, women were consistently more likely to report loneliness than men across all age groups. 

However, it was noted that these figures could reflect a reluctance among men to express their emotions. 

People who were single, middle-aged, living alone, and those with poor health also reported high levels of loneliness. 

Meanwhile, people who were older, male, living with a partner, working, homeowners, and those in good health were found to be the least lonely. 

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"I’ll sit on the stairs in front of the town hall from 2pm to 8pm. I have black pants and a North Face bag on," wrote Patrick Cakirli on Jodel, an anonymous messaging app, in December of last year.

Reaching out to anyone within a 10km radius of his location in Denmark, Patrick admitted: "I am desperate to meet new friends. I’m lonely and going through the hardest period of my life."

13 people replied to his message – a response which ultimately acted as the catalyst for a campaign which seeks to raise awareness around the subjects of loneliness and mental health.

"I had no idea at the time, that this very short message would change my life as well as 10,000 others," Patrick recently wrote on Bored Panda.


On the night Patrick reached out to the public, his 13 respondents revealed that they too were experiencing periods of loneliness, and struggled with its implications.

"Many of them confided in me throughout the evening and told me that they too had felt the heartwrenching pain of loneliness, but were too afraid of reaching out because of the stigma," he recalled.

Patrick, who spent much of his childhood in an orphanage, decided to establish a peer-to-peer group in an effort to assist those struggling in isolation, and Smilet Danmark was born.

"A network where you were applauded for showing your weaknesses and vulnerability. A network where we as a community would stand together against the taboo that is loneliness," he explained.

The organisation, which boasts six regional establishments, brings thousands of people together in a nation which reportedly struggles with a loneliness problem among its population.

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In this day and age, there's very few of us who aren't on social media.

Whether it's constantly checking Snapchat or updating your Instagram, it's fair to say a lot of us check our social media accounts daily.

Scratch that. A lot of us check our social media accounts hourly.

But is it ruining our friendships and making us lonely? I'm not so sure.

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A recent study carried out in the US claimed that we're on social media for at least two hours per day (which is probably fair), however, those two hours apparently double our chances of experiencing social isolation and low self-esteem.

When we're exposed to idealised representations of other people's lives, we feel envious and jealous, right?

And yeah, if one of your mates is living it up in New Zealand while you're slogging away at a 9-5 job, obviously you're going to wish you were on a sunny beach with a cocktail in hand.

But my point of view is; if we took social media away from the picture, and you met your friend for a coffee and she showed you pictures of her holiday, those envious feelings are still going to pop up.

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The research, which was carried out in the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, is saying that social media is the root of our social isolation, but I really don't think that's entirely true.

Another study by Drexel University found social media to actually be a pretty positive platform for people who have low self-esteem.

Those who might not be as confident to speak out in social situations, can interact with people online, which in turn made them more vocal in their day to day lives.

Researchers investigated the 'depression' hashtag on Instagram, and what they actually found was pretty inspiring.

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"Emotional support and esteem support, which includes comments such as, 'you are strong and beautiful', were the most popular comments among the 'depression' hashtag," which is pretty refreshing.

Numerous bloggers and social influencers are now coming forward to say that their lives aren't what you see on social media. Those pictures and statuses are only highlighting the good points, and while it may seem like everything is prefect – they go through tough times as well.

None of us are flawless, and we all project the best images of ourselves on social media.

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"The emotional support of trying to cheer someone up and provide support in the post or comment space could be viewed as a type of cognitive intervention (i.e., trying to help the person overcome negative thinking by developing positive thinking)," the study explained.

I think that at first, social media was (and partly still is) a platform to show off and boast, but it's changing into a place where people are becoming more real about their day to day lives and their struggles.

We all need to stop being so naive that everyone else's life is perfect, because just like our own, it's not.

Social media may be an enhancer, but it's not the root cause of isolation or loneliness.

However, if you need support, never be afraid to speak out. Check out this website for if you need any advice or someone to talk to.

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