We're less than two weeks into January and Christmas already feels like some kind of long-lost dream land. Remember when we had money? And got presents? And there was chocolate everywhere we looked? God, to be back in December again!

Here are a few of the bleak thoughts you've no doubt harboured so far this month…

1. "Am I really expected to do Dry January for a FULL month?"
31 days is an awfully long time to go without wine…

2. "Friday night in won't be so bad, will it?"
It's all well and good until you're weeping alone watching that documentary about abandoned lion cubs on Discovery Channel.

3. "It's HOW long to payday?"
Shampoo and conditioner were an excess luxury anyway. You'll just have to wash your hair with soap and water for the next few weeks. Be graaand.

4. "This skirt definitely wasn't so snug last month."
That'd be the three selection boxes and the tin of Roses you claimed for yourself on Stephen's Day.

5. "I love kale. I love kale. I love kale. I HATE KALE."
*shudder*

6. "There has to be a stray fiver in one of these pockets, surely."
Nothing says "loss of dignity" like frantically searching your couch cushions for a euro for the bus.

7. "How dodgy can this 'Reduced to Clear' chicken be?"
Is it meant to smell like this?!