17 relationship promises you just know you’ll NEVER be able to keep

Jan 11, 2016

It's already almost two weeks into the New Year and most of our resolutions have fallen by the wayside.

Diet? What diet? And Dry January lasted all of five days, but it was a great five days.

If you're in a relationship at the moment, you no doubt made a new "New Year, New Me" promises on that front too. Don't worry though, if you're anything like us, they're already old news.

Here are just a few of the relationship resolutions you've no doubt let slip…

1. You will not slink in front of the screen looking like a slightly drunk cat when he's playing Call of Duty
"Talk to me I'm booooooooored"

2. You'll remember that it's OK for him to be a boy, even though he'd be SO much easier to buy gifts for if he was a girl
You'd swear he didn't WANT the new Urban Decay palette you bought him/you.

3. You will not tell people his morning breath smells like a recently opened vegetable drawer
Because… soundness.

4. You will not ask him if his mam still likes you every five minutes
"Do you think she could tell I didn't like the (re-gifted) lavender soap set she gave me for Christmas?"

5. You will not wake him up at 3am because you remembered you once kissed his mate during a junior disco
"Should I feel guilty? I feel guilty."

6. You will not ask him to remember what you were wearing on your first date because “it was banging and he should bloody remember.”
Truth.

7. You will not laugh at him if he sounds slightly American when talking dirty in bed.
Only the best among us can call someone "baby" without sounding like Patrick Swayze.

8. You'll work on being more decisive when asked where you want to go for dinner
"Um, the Indian. No, I don't mind. No wait, PIZZA."

9. You will not get angry if he compares you to Chewbacca when you discover your hair straightener has burnt out.
*evil glare*

10. You will hide thoughtful notes around his place without seeming like a creep.
Easier said than done.

11. You will not force him to analyse your dreams with you because… no one cares.
"And my mam was there, but she looked really like George Clooney for some reason."

12. You will support his desire to “get shredded”
Even if it only lasts two weeks.

13. You will not laugh at him for using the word “shredded".
Mmmmmf.

14. You will not jokingly ask him what baby names he likes and then feel inexplicably hurt when he won't play ball.
The imaginary baby argument – it's split up many a couple.

15. You will not pick a fight with him because your favourite Netflix show has ended and you need something to do.
URGH JUST STOP BREATHING SO LOUD WOULD YOU

16. You will remind him your anniversary is approaching because he has a head like a sieve and would be devvo if he forgot.
A few not-so-subtle mentions should do the trick