Dine/dump: Lad pretends he’s never heard of potatoes to GF’s parents
Viral dating stories are a dime a dozen on the internet, with tales of epic fails and romantic gestures gone wrong fleetingly capturing our interest during a Twitter scroll before we move on.
However, we discovered one story that we just can't seem to shake off the thought of. Perhaps it's because it involves the beloved carbohydrate staple, the potato, or maybe it's just because it's so iconically ridiculous, but Reddit user NotKnowPotato shared his tale of turmoil and frankly we are grateful.
Mr NotKnow, who created a throwaway account to share the story, detailed how he decided he wanted to impress his new girlfriend's parents with his comedic skills when he first met them.
He was invited to join his GF and her family for dinner, and thought it would be gas to pretend that he had never eaten potatoes before.
When a platter of baked potatoes was brought to the dining table, he began to feign ignorance to the starchy vegetable.
'I was like "A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good,' he wrote, posting in the Today I F*cked Up section of the forum site.
However, his joke didn't land at all, and things began going downhill rather quickly.
'They asked me, VERY incredulous, did I really not know what a potato is? That I never heard of a potato. I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato.'
'Not only had I never eaten a potato I had never heard the word potato.'
His girlfriend quickly grew embarrassed at his actions, and when he took his "first bite" of a spud and 'made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange,"' his girlfriend left the table.
'Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point. When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed,' he continued.
'At one point he said something like "Enough is enough. You're f*cking with us. Admit it." And I said "Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you."'
The dinner culminated in Mr NotKnow being booted from the house: 'Finally the father said I should "Get the f*ck out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before. Well let me tell you he didn't take that kindly.'
'Now in text messages I have been telling my girlfriend I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.'
Fellow Reddit users have contributed their advice to the potato separatist.
'Invite your girlfriend to meet your parents. Have your father take her aside and ask if potatoes were served at the dinner with her parents. When she says yes, he looks alarmed, mutters something about "wanting to keep them from him" and never mentions the subject again,' wrote one.
'Send them a bouquet of potatoes as an apology,' suggested another.
Seriously, what would you do if your significant other pulled this joke on your family or friends?
