On the box: our top telly picks for the week

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Aug 18, 2014

The Rose Of Tralee – RTÉ One, Monday at 8pm
As dated and cringe inducing as this show is, it remains one of the most highly viewed programmes of the year so clearly SOMEONE’S watching it! Dáithí Ó Sé hosts what is now the 56th Rose of Tralee International Festival live from Kerry where we’re sure they’ll all have lovely bottoms. Let's keep our fingers crossed for some more freestyle dancing or another proposal: "Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, no, no, don't, oh no, no, no, no…"

Devious Maids – RTÉ 2, Tuesday at 8.40pm
Poor Carmen is not having a good week. After a vengeful Odessa ruined her blossoming music career by revealing her real age (gasp!), this week sees a visitor from Carmen’s past show up to stir trouble. Will Rosie get cosy with Spence again? Peri is certainly convinced he’s having an affair so this devious maid better watch her back.

The 90s: The Decade That Connected Us – Discovery Channel, Friday at 9pm
TOWIE, MIC and KUWTK have taken over our tellies in recent years, but have you ever seen the very first reality show, MTV’s The Real World? This series takes a nostalgic look back at 90’s pop culture from the dawn of reality TV to the massive success of Friends and The Blair Witch Project to dance crazes like the Macarena. Contributors include 90210’s Shannen Doherty, Courtney Love, Vanilla Ice and even Dawson from The Creek (who still looks the exact same!)

X Factor: Best and Worst Auditions – Boys – TV3, Saturday at 7pm
In the run up to the start of this year’s X Factor (the 11^th season!) Caroline Flack has been trawling through the archives over the past ten years to bring us the good, the bad and the downright deranged. Last week was the girls, and we were reminded of some outstanding auditions from Leona Lewis, Alexandra Burke, Hannah Barrett and Cher Lloyd, as well as plenty of deluded wannabe divas who nearly brought the judges to tears they were laughing so much. But none will EVER top poor Emma Chawner who arrived wearing what looked like a bedsheet and sang “like a baby in a wedding dress” before her family stormed the stage and attacked Simon! Here’s hoping the Boys episode will include Rylan, Chico the goat herder and RHYDIAN doing Phantom of the Opera…

10 things you will learn when you enter the ‘real world’

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May 22, 2014

by Amber Saunders

It’s time to enter the so-called “real” world. Here are some hard lessons you will soon learn in this next exciting phase of your life.

1. Wages
You’ll be paid a whole lot less than you think thanks to those lovely things we call taxes. Never heard of ’em? You will soon.

2. Co-workers
Some of them won’t like you, it’s natural, but try to learn from them. All they see is this self proclaimed hot shot coming straight out of college whereas more than likely you’re a diamond in the rough and need to be cut and polished before you can be left to your own devices.

3. Your boss
He or she may have been on the interview panel, and may have asked you personal questions in order to assess your suitability for the position but don’t for a second think that they didn’t forget your name the second you walked out the door.

4. Don’t stand still
Technology is changing every day, exponentially and the days of getting locked into a civil service position for life are becoming less and less. Self improvement and up-skilling are the key to you staying relevant while moving forward. So take advantage of any courses or seminars that will better you. If you stand still you’ll become an unmotivated drone!

5. Bringing in lunch
You probably learned this in school but keep the smelly lunches to a minimum. Healthy, scentless food will be better for you in the long run, both in popularity and in health situations.

6. Gossip
The water cooler conversations as they are now well known throughout the world. Learn to keep your comments neutral and rarely gossip about people in your new work. You don’t know how long the person you are speaking to has been there or where the allegiance lies. Just nod and smile, people, nod and smile!

7. Inter office relationships
Look, it’s going to happen. People just can’t control themselves and make extremely poor choices but make sure it doesn’t hinder you. The fewer people that know, the better. You don’t want to become the gossipee, do you?

8. Take the right “sick days” off
Some people never take a day off, some people do. But unless you have your spine hanging out maybe don’t take a Monday off after a massive weekend on the piss. Go in and deal with everything “the fear” has to throw at you. The odd Monday is fine, of course, but repetition will be noted.

9. Office parties
Please be on your best behaviour at these events. It’s so easy to swallow a bit too much eggnog at the Christmas party and deliver a few home truths about your boss, but that kind of behaviour will land you straight in HR on your first day back.

10. You will make mistakes
Ask questions because everybody makes mistakes. If you keep your mouth shut, you will walk head first into these mistakes so take the initiative and ask someone who can you a heads up!