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rejection

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Many of us know the 'symptoms' of falling in love; dry mouth, racing heartbeat, nervous sweating (hey- no judgement here) and even dizziness.

Be it love at first sight, a lustful locking of eyes across the room, fizzling sexual chemistry or even just plain HORMONES; it's a massively powerful experience.

Seeing as Valentine's Day, dread it or delight in it, is only 31 days away, we've decided to get our reading glasses on and find the science behind LURVE.

We're not the only publication carrying out extensive and important research into Cupid; scientists at the University of California have delved deeper to attempt to discover what happens to our bodies.

Apparently, that euphoric high that can occur when the flame is lit might be due to your GENES, according to Stylist.

The University of California were itching to discover how love affects the genes which control our immune systems, and took blind samples from 47 young women as they engaged in brand new relationships.

Genetic changes were monitored as the women fell in love over the course of two years with a new partner, and the scientists recently published their findings in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology.

According to the researchers; “Falling in love is one of the most psychologically potent experiences in human life. New romantic love is accompanied not only by psychological changes, but physiological changes as well.”

feel better in love GIF

The journal claims that when the women in their sample fell in love, their genes produces interferon- a protein most commonly deployed to fight viruses within the human body. 

"These findings are consistent with a selective up-regulation of innate immune responses to viral infections… and provide insight into the immuno-regulatory correlates of one of the keystone experiences in human life,” the scientists claim.

As women later fell out of love with their respective partners, their production of interferon was reduced. WHOA.

The experts assert that; “Some research suggests that psychological changes associated with romantic love may be attenuated as the relationship matures,” the experts said.

“The biological correlates of love might abate with the maturation of a longer-term more stable mate bond.”

jim carrey love GIF

Though the scientists don't yet know the exact reason for women producing an increase of interferon, they're pondering the idea that it may be to prepare for PREGNANCY. Whoa x2. 

Researchers now believe that men's genetic response probably isn't the same as women's. Typical lads.

Previous scientific investigations found that both regions of our brains interact as we fall deeply in lurve.

The 'feel good' neurotransmitter dopamine is distributed across our brains when the ventral tegmental area and caudate nucleus work in tangent with each other. 

Basically, in English this means that as we become romantically involved with someone, we start craving their presence.

The craving gets deeper as we fall more deeply in love with them, hence the feeling of lovesick obsession.

i love you GIF

Experiencing heartbreak can also affect our bodies, apparently.

No, not just bloating from all that Ben & Jerry's.Though that's a definite contributing factor…

Intense rejection activates the area of our brains that deal with physical pain, and research alleges that our bodies are literally more physically sensitive when we go through a break-up or romantic rejection.

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Believe it or not, it's been 20 years since J.K Rowling let us in to her magical world of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and for that, we are forever grateful.

However, as any self-proclaimed Harry Potter super fan will know, there was a time when it looked like the series might not be published at all.

In fact, as an unknown author, J.K had her debut novel, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, rejected by not one, not two, but 12 publishers, before it was eventually picked up by the clever folk at Bloomsbury.

We know what you're thinking.

How on earth did this worldwide phenomenon slip through the cracks so many times?

How could they not see its unlimited potential?

And while you might never find the answers to these questions, you can now make up your own mind, because in celebration of Harry Potter's 20th anniversary, J.K Rowling’s original pitch has gone on display at the new Harry Potter: A History Of Magic exhibition at London’s British Library.

It reads: 

"Harry Potter lives with his aunt, uncle and cousin because his parents died in a car-crash—or so he has been told. The Dursleys don't like Harry asking questions; in fact, they don't seem to like anything about him, especially the very odd things that keep happening around him (which Harry himself can't explain).

The Dursleys' greatest fear is that Harry will discover the truth about himself, so when letters start arriving for him near his eleventh birthday, he isn't allowed to read them. However, the Dursleys aren't dealing with an ordinary postman, and at midnight on Harry's birthday the gigantic Rubeus Hagrid breaks down the door to make sure Harry gets to read his post at last. Ignoring the horrified Dursleys, Hagrid informs Harry that he is a wizard, and the letter he gives Harry explains that he is expected at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in a month's time

To the Dursleys' fury, Hagrid also reveals the truth about Harry's past. Harry did not receive the scar on his forehead in a car-crash; it is really the mark of the great dark sorcerer Voldemort, who killed Harry's mother and father but mysteriously couldn't kill him, even though he was a baby at the time. Harry is famous among the witches and wizards who live in secret all over the country because Harry's miraculous survival marked Voldemort's downfall.

So Harry, who has never had friends or family worth the name, sets off for a new life in the wizarding world. He takes a trip to London with Hagrid to buy his Hogwarts equipment (robes, wand, cauldron, beginners' draft and potion kit) and shortly afterwards, sets off for Hogwarts from Kings Cross Station (platform nine and three quarters) to follow in his parents' footsteps.

Harry makes friends with Ronald Weasley (sixth in his family to go to Hogwarts and tired of having to use second-hand spellbooks) and Hermione Granger (cleverest girl in the year and the only person in the class to know all the uses of dragon's blood). Together, they have their first lessons in magic — astronomy up on the tallest tower at two in the morning, herbology out in the greenhouses where the…"

So, if you currently feel like the entire world is plotting against you, just remember that even one of the greatest writers of the 21st century faced her fair share of rejection. 

Oh, and one more thing while we have you! Don't forget that you can catch up on all your favourite shows for free for a month right here, so sign up now!

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A survey conducted by the infamous cheating website, Victoria Milan, has revealed that Irish men the most likely to become angry when denied sex.

For the study, researchers asked 9,507 females from 23 countries to note how men react to rejection in the bedroom – and the results were very interesting indeed.

Worryingly, anger or aggressive behaviour was the most common response, with men form Ireland, Hungary and Portugal proving to be the biggest offenders.

According to the website, this unacceptable reaction is likely caused by a need to mask the deep feeling of embarrassment.

Boo-frickin-hoo.

The next most common reaction came in the form of the silent treatment, with Austrian, Swiss, Finnish and Norwegian men most likely to give their partners the cold shoulder.

Reasoning, pleading and manipulation were also common with men from Czech Republic, Greece, France, New Zealand and Poland often finding themselves barred form the bedroom by women who are sick of their tactics.

But, all hope is not lost. There actually are some men out there who can handle the rejection and don't apply pressure.

Men from Australia, Netherlands, Sweden, The UK and The United States were all found to be respectful of their partners wishes – so, you'll just need to start looking a bit further afield.

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With the Irish accent being considered one of the sexiest in the world, those of us blessed with a cúpla focail are bound to attract the attention of lay persons and celebrities alike.

But just because a gaeilgeoir becomes the focus of a star’s affections, doesn’t mean they’ll automatically accept their advances.

Appearing on The Eoghan McDermott Show yesterday, Gráinne Seoige recounted how she was once forced to put Bruno Mars back in “his tiny little box” after the Grammy winner asked her on a double date.

Speaking of the incident – which occurred when the popular presenter was working with ITV’s Daybreak breakfast show in London – the Spiddal native said: “I didn’t teach him any Gaeilge but I had to put him back in his little box one morning on breakfast TV.”

“I think he was really using me to ask the news anchor on Daybreak out.  He was inviting us to his concert…He said, ‘And bring your little friend with you’ and I was like, ‘No, we’ll be tucked up in bed’.”

 

Stressing her belief that the 24K Magic singer was more interested in her colleague, Gráinne continued: “I said, ‘You’ll have to ask her for yourself…But I know I’m not free tonight’.”

It sounds like Gráinne made herself very clear indeed!

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Recently, we've seen a lot of guys handle rejection very badly – one man even demanded €3.50 back off a woman who rejected a second date. Em, crazy?!

But this one woman, Erin, posted the lovely exchange below to Facebook, with the message, "I recently went on two dates with a guy I met on OK Cupid, we had fun but definitely lacked chemistry. After not texting him for two weeks, he sent me this sweet text. Why can't they all be this way?!​"

Instead of disappearing and acting like they never met (like most of us do), the man decided to do something very classy and send Erin a lovely text telling her just how fab she is and that the relationship is just not a fit.

Unsurprisingly, she felt the same way and now everyone's happy. Yay!

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Rejection. We all hate it and sometimes fear it.

It can be hard when someone tells you "no", as it feels like all the hard work you put in was for nothing. 

But if you want to succeed, one little word should not get in your way. Just look at these famous and brilliant women, who once upon a time were told "no" also.

Jessica Alba

This year Jessica Alba graced the cover of Forbes for the incredible success of her The Honest Company.

But it wasn't always so easy for the actress. In a recent interview with Forbes, Jessica was asked about the reactions she got while pitching The Honest Company during its first few years.

“It took three and a half years of condescending nods or pats on the back good luck.”

“Instead of the resistance holding me back, it pushed me forward. I almost needed it."

"I needed people telling me ‘no’ for me to figure out exactly what I was going to do and how I was going to do it.”

 

Anna Wintour

It surprised us all to hear that Anna Wintour was originally told “no” by the very industry she runs.

Yes, as a junior fashion editor, Anna was fired from Harper’s Bazaar for being too “edgy.” At a fashion industry conference in New York, she told the audience, “I worked for American Harper’s Bazaar. … They fired me."

"I recommend that you all get fired. It’s a great learning experience.”

 

Chloe Grace Moretz

Chloe is quite open about the prevalence of rejection in Hollywood. The 18-year-old star spoke to The Telegraph about how she handles constant rejection. 

"You go up for hundreds, thousands of roles, and you get told no, no, no so many times. You have to have a tough skin; otherwise you'd get beaten down."

"But I'm not. I love getting told no ’cause then I fight even more."

 

Lady Gaga

Gaga was rejected from her first music label. She signed on with Def Jam Records in 2006 but then dropped three months later.

It was devastating to be dismissed from her dream vocation, but being rejected gave Gaga the time to experiment.

In an interview with E! News, Gaga said, “It was one of the worst days of my life and it happened quite quickly."

"If you give up after something like that, you were never destined to be an entertainer. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

 

Mindy Kaling

Not only is Mindy a phenomenal comedienne and actress, but she also writes and runs her own network television show, The Mindy Project.

In an interview with The Guardian, Mindy talked about a “humiliating experience” in which she was forced to audition for a sketch show that she was asked to write.

Yep, Mindy was asked to audition for the part of herself and was then rejected because she was “not considered attractive or funny enough.” Ouch. 

 

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah started her on-air career as the first black female evening news anchor for Nashville CBS. After a few years, Oprah moved to Baltimore to be the evening co-anchor for WJZ-TV.

After only seven and a half months as a co-anchor, she was demoted to a poorly rated daytime show for being “too emotionally involved in the stories. 

Within a year, that tiny show was renamed The Oprah Winfrey Show, and as her success scaled, she reached millions of people every day.

 

J.K. Rowling

Can you imagine life without Harry Potter? Nope,either can we. If J.K. Rowling hadn’t been fired from her job as a secretary, we might have had to suffer that sad reality.

Thankfully, when the HR department told Ms Rowling she was not cut out for secretarial work because she spent all of her working hours writing stories, she went on to write one of the most epic stories of our generation.

And we are so thankful!

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Rejection can be hard for many people to take. No actually, everyone. Whether it be a job interview you thought you nailed, a friend who turned away, or the love of your life turning you down, we've all been there. 

Here are the five stages of dealing with rejection:

1. Denial
This is the stage where you bury your head in the sand and pretend 'the incident' never happened. 

2. Anger
At your ex, the person who turned you down, the universe, yourself. Everyone is out to get you, nothing is working out for you. You feel hard done by and will not let anything pass. Try to avoid emailing/texting/calling whoever it is you hate right now. It's a bad idea, this stage will pass. 

3. Bargaining
Reverting back to denial, you still can’t accept that there’s nothing you can do to change their mind. You promise to change, to be a better person, you email the college and tell them you’ll take up extra classes or work for free on campus, you ask for a second interview, you promise that guy you'll change. 

4. Depression
Usually the stage where you spend days in bed, not getting washed or dressed. Feeling hopeless and either overeating or under-eating. Friends, housemates and family don’t know what to do because you are feeling so hopeless. Nothing they can say will penetrate the depressive cloud that has formed all around you. You feel like you will never be accepted anywhere by anyone. You see yourself as a failure. You still blame everyone else but now you’re blaming yourself too. You have no energy to be angry anymore. You’re done with that, all you feel is sad and alone.

5. Acceptance
Finally, you come to terms with everything. This can happen suddenly, or gradually, bit by bit. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to be jumping around thinking life is great but you’ll be able to deal and move on. You’ll get into another college, you’ll be in another relationship and you’ll be attracted to another person. You recognize that you totally over-reacted, but you're human and everyone deals with it. Hopefully you won’t go through it again but now that you have, you might handle it better next time. Everything is going to be okay. Okay?

via our content partner CT

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It’s a difficult thing for anybody to deal with rejection, whether it be romantic or otherwise.

But somehow, matters of the heart cut deeper.

Here are some ways you can emerge from the rejection and hurt intact and ready to take on the world all over again.

1. Everything happens for a reason
If that person you love doesn’t love you, then it was never meant to be in the first place and there is a greater plan in store for you.

2. Talk about it
Talking about it will help, after all, a problem shared is a problem halved! Your best friend will always make you feel better and be a shoulder to cry on. She will also tell you awful he was anyway and that you’re better off! Even if it isn’t true.

3. It isn’t you
You might not be able to see it now but there may be a reason this person simply can’t be with you. Don’t assume it is you or the way you are.

4. Use the experience to grow
Everything is a learning curve, even when it hurts. Use the rejection to learn more about yourself; how you deal with things and how you would like or change the way you deal with things in the future.

5. Don’t allow yourself to be down for too long
Of course initial rejection is going to hurt for a while but you can’t allow yourself to wallow in questions of what if. Be strong and arise from the situation with confidence, a new outlook and hope for what might happen in the future.

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