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“By the time the first hit came, I was already a shell of a person. When you see the psychological signs, don’t ignore them. When it feels wrong, it is wrong.”

One in five women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, and unfortunately that number is on the rise. RTÉ are confronting the reality of domestic abuse in revealing new online documentary series – UPFRONT: Domestic Abuse. 

The two part documentary follows RTÉ reporter, Della Kilroy, as she talks to the women behind the statistics.

The series delves into the many forms of domestic abuse, from physical, emotional to sexual and financial. It also shows the various support option available to those who think they might be in an abusive relationship.

What's more, UPRONT: Domestic Abuse will feature an interview with a perpetrator who is currently enrolled in a rehabilitation programme.

Last year, Women's Aid received over 16,000 calls reporting domestic abuse and the charity revealed they have seen a huge increase in the amount of young women coming forward.

As well as that, a 2016 study conducted by the team here at SHEmazing revealed that dating abuse affects one in three women, with 60 per cent believing it was their fault.

Results also showed over half of the 1,000 women surveyed admitted to knowing someone in their immediate circle of friends that had been in an abusive relationship.

Any woman, regardless of age, class or occupation can find themselves in an abusive relationship and in this new online documentary we see business women, students and mothers share their own individual experiences.

Researcher and reporter for the RTÉ Player series UPFRONT, Della Kilroy said: ''You might think you don’t know someone that has been affected by domestic abuse, but research suggests you probably do. One in five women in Ireland will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lifetime.''

''This means that every day in Ireland, women are beaten, raped and even hospitalised leaving ongoing physical and mental health issues. This doesn’t just happen in the home, as evidence points to an increasing number of young women experiencing abuse in dating relationships.''

UPFRONT is available to watch now on RTÉ Player .

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised, please contact:  Women’s Aid freephone 1800 341 900 1800 341 900 or visit  www.womensaid.ie and www.2in2u.ie

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It's a widely known fact that women don't orgasm as often as men through intercourse alone.

And as a result of this, we're often described as complex creatures, when the simple fact is we need more than a few short, swift thrusts in order to climax. It's not exactly rocket science.

And, according to Jannette Davies who recently featured in Channel 4 documentary The Super Orgasm, no matter how eager and dedicated your partner is to you and your needs, if you can't bring yourself to orgasm, it's unlikely your partner will be able to.

Speaking to Marie Claire, Janette, who owns a sexual positivity company called Scarlet Ladies, insists that masturbation and communication is the key to ensuring an orgasm.

"My one piece of advice for women is to get to know your body," she advised when reflecting on the obstacles faced by many women in the bedroom.

"The most important thing is learning what works for you. I understood my body because I masturbated – and that is hands down the reason why I can have multiple orgasms."

We're constantly advised to be open with our partners, but when we don't know how to achieve orgasms by ourselves, this can surely only result in a 'blind leading the blind' exchange.

"Communication is important, but you can’t communicate what you want from a partner if you don’t know yourself," Jannette reminds the public.

For many women, orgasms are as much a mental and emotional process as a physical one, so it's vital you're open to the various processes that go into achieving one.

"I think when you are in denial of any sort or have something that you are holding back it makes it 10 times harder – we all know orgasms are in your mind."

Sounds like it's time to get reacquainted with ourselves…
 

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So, there’s nothing new about male facial hair, but it’s safe to say that the past few years has seen a beard renaissance of such.

Now, we’re not complaining.

But why do so many of us find them so damn attractive?

Well, science finally has the answer.

According to Marie Claire, researchers at the University of Queensland in Australia surveyed over 8,520 women to find out why bearded men leave us weak at the knees.

The participants were divided into three groups and each were shown a different series of photographs.

The images featured the same men without facial hair, with stubble and with a fully-grown beard.

The researchers then asked the women how the men in the images rated in terms of sexual attractiveness, short-term relationships and long-term relationships.

Interestingly, the women were most attracted to men with stubble while full beards scored the lowest.

When it came to short-term romances, stubbled men remained the most desirable.

However, in a rather interesting twist, fully-bearded men came out on top when it came to long-term relationships. 

But why?

Well, Barnaby Dixson, co-author of the study, explained that the rugged look is indicative of a ‘male’s ability to compete for resources.’

Apparently, beards also represent certain protective qualities that our subconscious tends to look for when choosing a life partner. 

So, if you're confused as the way you cant get that guy from the coffee shop out of your head, don't worry, it's basic instincts. 

 

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Hey guess what? 

Periods are a thing. They arrive every month (or three weeks. or sporadically, or whenever the hell they decide to arrive), but despite their frequency and necessity, we can still be pretty squeamish about them. 

Especially when it comes to sex, according to a new study. 

A study from Flex found that women are twice as likely as men to turn down sex with a new partner thanks to a period.

89 per cent of people cite the mess and potential clean up as a reason to avoid the act, which is understandable, who wants to ruin yet another bed sheet with a blood stain?

However for the 30 per cent of men and women who want more period sex at all stages of the cycle, we say just put a towel down. 

55 per cent of people polled think that period sex is fine and natural, while 45 per cent think that it's gross, so this is a pretty divisive issue.

From the mess to feeling bloated and just generally not being in the mood, period sex can seem like a bit of an ordeal to some people.

However, some women claim to feel more sexually aroused while on their period than usual. 

In fact, 20 per cent of women in the survey said they were extra horny at that time of the month. 

Flex (which is a tampon women can wear during sex) founder Erika Jensen encourages sexual partners to try sex on your cycle if it's something you want to do.

'If there is something you’ve never done because you’re scared or embarrassed or (worst of all) set in your ways just because, I urge you to do it,' she said.

'Or talk to someone who has done it. Explore a new perspective.'

70 per cent of people have a conversation about being on their period before the sex occurs, just to be sure that their potential partner is aware that the menses have arrived as a common courtesy. 

However, 45 per cent of women have had a partner turn them down for sex because they were on their period.

It's probably time that period sex was normalised, after all, it's an extra week in the month of potential sexy time we could all be having, but squeamishness is holding us all back. 

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If you happen to own cream shoes, a black skirt and rock a pretty stunning smile, you may have an admirer on your hands.

A notice, which was spotted at a bus stop in Charlestown yesterday, suggests there may be love in the air…or the hint of a restraining order if comments made by social media users are anything to go by.

Reaching out to a young woman who caught their eye, one lovelorn person explained the circumstances that led to their posting of a very detailed and lengthy notice in public.

"The first time we saw each other was at 11.30pm on a Friday night almost four weeks ago. I think you were talking in Polish?" they wrote.

"I cycled past you on a green bike and climbed over the fence and went into the first house over the fence. As I was closing the door you climbed over the fence too. I should have paid more attention and said something!" the author lamented.

As it turns out, these two people were destined to cross paths again, but unfortunately there was to be no exchange of words.

"You got off the bus near Glasnevin Cemetery and it was only then that I realised it WAS you!!! I'M SO STUPID," they raged.

In the hopes they may actually get to meet properly, the writer signed off by suggesting the woman in question might be available tomorrow morning.

"If you are reading this I will be on the 140 bus service going to Dublin City at this stop on Saturday, 22nd April at 09.20. If you are interested we can meet HERE or you can come to the house you saw me going into almost FOUR weeks ago."

And the question remains; will she show up?

Oh, and while we have you; don't forget to have your say in the inaugural SHEmazing Awards this May! It's time to vote, and you can do it right here!

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So for those of you who didn’t know, today is Sexual Happiness Day.

And what better way to bask in the glory of our collective sexualities than discuss the bedroom habits of other people?

Tapping into most people’s desire to know how often other people are getting down and dirty, sex toy retailer, Lovehoney, conducted a survey into the very topic, and the findings confirm the theory that the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon appears to do more for women than men.

In general, more women than men have tried all of the most popular bondage activities while 75% of women have tried spanking in comparison to 66% of men.

Momentarily setting the kink aside, researchers then investigated the standard turn-ons and turn-offs for both men and women, and it looks like both tribes agree that sexy eyes will always be up there.

Humour was the number one turn-on for women, followed by sexual confidence, kindness, sexy eyes and a warm smile while for men, sexual confidence was the biggest turn-on followed by sexy eyes, good looks and kindness.

And the similarities don’t end there, with both sexes asserting that sex from behind is their favourite position.

Commenting on the significance of Sexual Happiness Day, Lovehoney co-owner Richard Longhurst said: “It is an annual celebration of the benefits of great sex with the hope of inspiring and encouraging people all over the world to talk, experiment and find out what it is that makes them blissful in the bedroom.”

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Dating can be pretty disappointing, especially when you come armed with expectations of the perfect guy only to feel a little let down when your Tinder date doesn't agree that Stranger Things was the best Netflix show ever made.

However, Grant Langston, CEO of eHarmony, who has analysed hundreds of thousands data streams from the behemoth dating website’s user database, has come up with the four key things you need to agree on for a successful courtship. 

While liking the same pizza toppings and holding the same political beliefs are nice, they are simply a bonus compared to these four key concepts: 

1. Conflict resolution skills

Are you a fan of conflict?

Or would you rather forgive and forget?

“Conflict resolution skills are baked into your brain when you’re a kid. If you’re really opposite in that, you can’t have a relationship,” according to Grant. 

2. Extrovert vs Introvert.

Opposites attract, but Grant reminds wannabe daters that if an extreme extrovert falls for an extreme introvert, compromises will have to be made for the sake of a stable relationship. 

“An introvert can be with an extrovert, but it would require compromise throughout life,” he told Elite Daily. 

3. Your outlook on life

Having a stormy rather than sunny outlook on life is fine, so long as your partner sees the world through a similarly pessimistic lens.

However, an ever-the-optimist kind of person may feel drained from sharing a lifestyle with a negative Nancy. 

4. Sociability

Another quality which could become a challenge in a potential relationship is the level of sociability. 

If you love painting the town red every weekend but your partner is more of a Netflix and chill kind of guy or girl, then this could cause some conflict. 

At the end of the day, it is these social skills and differences that can keep a relationship our of choppy waters.

“Superficial things don’t really matter that much."

"If you like the same kind of music or food or to travel to the same places, that is fodder for good date, but it doesn’t predict any kind of relationship success,” said Grant."

Oh, and while we have you; don't forget to have your say in the inaugural SHEmazing Awards this May! It's time to vote, and you can do it right here!

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As the age-old saying goes, breaking up is hard to do.

Or is it? 

The action of breaking up is actually pretty easy thanks to technology because we can now get dumped via text, Snapchat or even email, but we've never seen anyone get dumped by Spotify.

Until now that is.

One proud sister took to Twitter to show of her genius sibling's method of bae disbandment. 

After dating one guy named Wyatt for a while, the sister soon realised that she had feelings for someone new.  

Rather than ghosting the guy, Erika's sister took to Spotify to make her feelings known.

Using a series of song names, she managed to spell out the message: "Do you still want to kiss me because I am kinda lovin someone else but we can still be friends." (sic). 

Admittedly, this is a rather mean albeit creative way to dump someone, so we weren't too surprised when the break up message recipient made a playlist of his own.

Rather than spelling it out, Wyatt simply added one song to the list, called STFU, or shut the f*** up. 

Kudos to both of them for creativity, though maybe not for their sensitivity skills. 

Oh, and while we have you; don't forget to have your say in the inaugural SHEmazing Awards this May! It's time to vote, and you can do it right here!

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There's bitter, and then there's Twitter user, Picasso.

After sharing a screenshot of messages he has been sending his ex girlfriend for more than three years, he's faced serious backlash from the Twitopshere who wasted no time suggesting he get himself a life.

Every day at 07.45, this guy says he takes a moment out of his life to troll his former girlfriend by texting various versions of 'I hate you' to her.

And while equally bitter Twitter users have lauded this lad, the more reasonable among them have intimated that the messages say more about Picasso than they he realises.

"I have never seen something so pathetic in my life. bro, go outside," wrote one while another added: "Ok? This is harassment?"

"So basically, she's on your mind every single day because you actually love her. Let go dude. How lame," opined another.

"Imagine being this desperate for ur ex's attention three years later," wrote someone else. (sic)

We're with them on that one.

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When it comes to pre-date prep, most of us favour a shower, a mini-meltdown, and a quick glass of wine, but apparently we're all missing a trick.

According to research carried out at the Baruch Ivcher School of Psychology at the IDC Herzliya in Israel, watching pornography in the lead-up to a first date means you're more open to the possibility of a second.

We know, what?

With the help of 246 participants, Professor Gurit Birnbaum conducted three studies and established that individuals who were shown sexual stimuli before a date were more likely to be open and expressive in a subsequent dating situation.

Across three studies, researchers established that 'sexual priming' facilitates self-disclosure whether via instant messaging or face-to-face interaction, and ultimately creates a dynamic that makes the possibility of a second date more likely.

Simply put, in comparison to the control group who were not exposed to sexual stimuli, those who were ultimately created an environment which would likely lead to subsequent dates.

"The findings indicated that sexual priming led participants to reveal personal intimate information to an opposite-sex stranger," the study read.

"This self-disclosure, in turn, further increased interest in having a first date with the stranger," it continues. "These findings suggest that activation of the sexual system encourages the use of strategies that allow people to become closer to potential partners."

The study, entitled Sex Unleashes Your Tongue, was published in SAGE Journals.

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So, here's the 411. This guy thought he was auditioning for a game show when, in actual fact, he had been set up by his girlfriend on a show called To Catch a Cheater.

And good ol' Patrick fell right into that trap, didn't he?

After flirting with the show's 'hostess' he proceeded to touch her legs and given her a massage after assuring her that the woman who features in his Instagram uploads is his sister…  not his girlfriend, Luis.

Sound Patrick, sound.

While Patrick's girlfriend acknowledges that the 'hostess' has been encouraged to flirt outrageously by the crew, Luis is understandably furious that her boyfriend is more than happy to reciprocate.

And so is YouTube.

"This guy disgusts me! That's so wrong," wrote one while another added: "Omg and then after he still ask the other girl if they were still on for tonight?! Like what the hell?"

Some YouTubers are less scathing of Patrick's carry-on due to the fact they believe the entire scenario is staged, with one writing: "How is this not being pointed out as being blatantly fake?"

We'll let you decide…

 

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No matter how certain you are that the right decision has been made, the aftermath of a break-up is far from plain sailing.

Whether you instigated the split or not, it's not always easy to deal with the feelings of loss, confusion and frustration that follow the demise of a relationship.

So, you lean on your friends and family for support… and then promptly ignore every bit of advice they dole out, right?

Hitting the nail on the head with this one, Jen Hatton and Emma Doran illustrate the various stages a person goes through when reflecting on a broken relationship over a bottle (or two) of vino.

We'll be honest here, this cut a little close to the bone…

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