12 things you’ll remember if you grew up in the Irish countryside
Ah, rural Ireland, or "the back end of nowhere," as some residents like to call it.
While growing up as a city slicker may have meant you were close to all the amenities, a rural Irish childhood is something to be revered.
Here are a few irreplaceable memories that prove you grew up in the middle of nowhere:
1.There was ALWAYS a bull
You may have spent your childhood trecking through fields and essentially having the run of the place, but there was always one field that you avoided.
The ominous "beware of the bull" sign that hung on the gate was enough to scare the bejaysus out of you, as were the rumours that the notorious bull had once killed a man.
2. Becoming a conductive rod for an electric fence
If you didn't scare the crap out of yourself using a piece of grass to feel the charge of an electric fence, did you even grow up in the country?
There was always someone who wouldn't take the dare and got slagged mercilessly for it.
3 The bus journey to school could take HOURS
Because everyone lived so spread out, the bus journey to and from school could take hours, so the friends you made on the bus were your friends for life.
There was a distinct social hierarchy on these bus routes, with the cool Leaving Certs dominating the back of the bus and the first years cowering at the front.
Oh, and everyone knew the bus driver by name and gave him cards at Christmas.
4. The local pub was where it all went down
Walked into the local pub tonight – bloke stood on bar singing karaoke – loads o pals to catch up with and decent Guinness – smashing!
— Aidan Buckley (@AidanBuckley) December 27, 2013
Whether it was your 18th, your 21st, your confirmation or your funeral, you'd be expected to have it in the local.
They'd do you the best rate going for a few plates of sandwiches and a DJ, and the smoking area was where all the local gossip was divulged.
And if you decided to have your 18th in the fancy club in town? Well you'd be given the cold shoulder at mass for weeks.
5. Dying in a field was a regular teenhood occurrence
It was gas craic sneaking out of your mates house while you were supposed to be having a sleepover, but honestly there wasn't really anywhere to go.
You'd end up huddled in a field with your bunch of lad freinds, drinking bottles of blue WKD and plastic bottles of cheap cider, playing DJ Rankin and 50 Cent songs off your Sony Ericson phones until they died and it was time to go home.
And there was always one friend who got way too drunk and had to be carried home through the fields.
6. There was an inexpicable amount of boy racers
Rally driving is up there with the GAA and tractors when it comes to countryside passions.
There were always a few lads in the class who would rock those blue Subaru jackets and talk at length about hub caps and doughnuts like they were prepping for a race of their own.
7. Coming in the back door
Get your minds out of the gutter. In rural homes, the front door is a purely ornamental addition to the house.
The back door was where you could kick off your wellies, throw your dirty camogie gear in the washing machine and be at the fridge looking for cheese strings in mere minutes.
Even now when we venture home, we always waltz through the back door like the gateway to mammy's cooking that it is.
8. Your address was vague AF
House numbers? Pah! Those are for townies. All you had was a road name and your postman had to figure out the rest.
Luckily, the postman knows everyone's business like the back of his hand. We once met our postman in the pub who proceeded to tell us our Mam was "mad for the ASOS packages." True story.
9. You had to get a lift EVERYWHERE
organising a lift everywhere is really starting to get to me
— tor (@vmnuttall) November 10, 2016
Seriously, even if there was a bus to town you probably had to get a lift to the bus stop seeing as it was so far away.
And when you wanted to go somewhere and your parents were having none, you could organise to head into town with another one of the locals thanks to rural community friendliness.
10. Wifi "doesn't come out this far"
Even after all the years that wifi has been in existance, they still haven't figured out a way to make it work in the countryside.
The same goes for phone coverage. 99.9 percent nationwide coverage and yet your house is always in that 0.1 percent.
11. Walking for miles to the shop
This was especially annoying after one of those nights where you and all your friends were dying in a field, and now you have to trek across one hundred fields to get any kind of delicious sustenance.
Sometimes your parents would take pity on you and drive you down, but those occasions were few and far between.
12. If you left for the big smoke, you officially have notions
If you decided to uproot yourself from the farm and move to town, Dublin or beyond, it has probably been said that you have notions.
Notions or no notions, there is nothing better than coming home to visit the 'rents, to the smell of silage and to actually be able to see stars in the sky.
Now we're a little homesick.
