Reading about how mortified Lauren Goodger is about her ex, releasing that sex tape to the public, has just made us ever more adamant about how you should NEVER make one, no matter how lovely your boyfriend is. Here are ten reasons why:

Your boss could see it
At least Lauren Goodger is a celebrity – they can get away with all kinds of things and still manage to rake in some cash (just ask Kim Kardashian). Us mere mortals, however, could face some serious backlash if our bosses saw us getting our rocks off.

It won’t look good
Let’s face it, doggy style is not a good look. You’re better off not knowing the reality of what you look like during sex. Ignorance is bliss in this situation.

It won’t sound good
Have you ever listened back to a recording of yourself and been horrified at the sound of your own voice? Do you really want to hear what you sound like just before the big O? Once again, ignorance really is bliss.

Your MOTHER could see it
You’d never be able to go home again! You’d actually have to move to a different country and remove yourself from the family completely. Oh, dear God. It’s not worth the risk.

Your future CHILDREN could see it
They’ll probably be more embarrassed than you, but would you really want to do that to them?

Your future boyfriends won’t be impressed
You might not end up with the person you’re with in the sex tape, so imagine how a future boyfriend would feel if he came across it? You could be ruining the love life of future you.

He might show it to his friends
Do you really want them all watching you do THAT? We didn’t think so.

People could see it, and then comment on your performance
Talk about making you super paranoid! NO thanks!

Your Twitter account might be flooded with abuse
People really let loose on social media about what they REALLY think of you, and this will do nothing for your self-confidence.

It’s just too risky
Just don’t do it – the mortification that could ensue isn’t worth it.