We finally have an excuse – not that we need one – to unleash our emotional mess on our other halves, as it turns out – he LOVES it.
Blessed are those couple of months that your partner hasn't discovered your inner crazy yet.
But embrace the mood swings as he may dig it, particularly between the sheets.
According to a German study, men prefer getting frisky with women who are emotionally unstable.
A possible explanation for this? An image of a knight on the white horse coming to save the day, springs to mind.
On the other hand, us gals enjoy men who won’t give us our own way. (Sounds about accurate, and a plausible reason for why we fall for f*ck boys…)
Additionally, attention to detail is a big turn on for us ladies, according to the findings of this study.
Lead researcher Julia Velten and her team investigated volunteer’s sex lives, sexual function and their personality.
Research into personality traits and sex is an area that has been neglected, according to the experts.
A thousand people took part in the sexy survey.
The team concluded that "men whose partners had less emotional stability reported better sexual function."
Meanwhile "lower agreeableness of a sexual partner was predictive of better sexual function in women".
The study was published in the Journal Of Sex Research, and the average age of the volunteers were 51, with the majority being in their current relationships for 24 years. – so they know a thing or two about a lifetime of sex.
For the women, topics of sexual desire, arousal, satisfaction and orgasm were examined.
For our male counterparts, it was erectile function, satisfaction, orgasm and desire.
Their findings revealed that men enjoyed sex more with a partner who had similar traits, in particular being easily stimulated.
"In men who are easily aroused by erotic fantasies or visual stimuli, having a partner who responds in a similar way may facilitate sexual function," the researchers explained.
An attentive man is one to keep around, as sex tends to be better with them.
The team said: "men who are thorough and dutiful may feel the need to satisfy their partner sexually, which may in turn lead to better sexual function of their partners".
The German scientists also put to the bed the misconception that being in a long-term relationship means you’re not gonna get your bit.
"This finding implies that a healthy sexual life is possible even in long relationships," the researchers said.
And, remember – consensual, safe sexy time is always the best.
“The world is disturbingly comfortable with the fact that women sometimes leave a sexual encounter in tears.” Lili Loofbourow
According to a recent study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, about 30 percent of women report feeling pain during vaginal intercourse.
This alarming statistic is only recorded amongst women who are even comfortable speaking to doctors about sex, meaning that a far greater number could be more accurate.
Another hugely concerning fact which the study expressed is that "large proportions" of women don't tell their partners when sex hurts, they simply grin and bear it.
This testifies to the notion that women often sacrifice their pleasure, not to mention their comfort, for male satisfaction. The assumption that “bad sex” simply means the absence of pleasure is a naïve one- for many women, “bad sex” can mean extreme discomfort and even agony.
Debby Herbenick, an academic from the Indiana University School of Public Health and one of those who incentivised the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behaviour, confirmed this suggestion.
"When it comes to 'good sex,'" she commented, "women often mean without pain, men often mean they had orgasms."
The satisfaction scale for men and women is clearly imbalanced. Painful sex isn’t the rare outlier that it’s proclaimed to be, in fact, it’s far more widespread than imagined.
For some women, such as those suffering from illnesses such as endometriosis, ectopic pregnancies and vaginismus, it’s part of their reality.
For others, they are in need of more foreplay, lubrication or comfort. Anxiety and tension can have a drastic impact on female sexual pleasure.
There are dozens of possible reasons why you could be experiencing pain during sex, ranging from the physical to the psychological.
The troubling thing is that so many of these reasons are not well-known, and they are scarcely researched or prioritised in our healthcare systems.
Dyspareunia is the medical term for painful sex, and can be a deeply distressing condition which takes a massive emotional toll on those who experience it.
According to another scientific article on women’s pain:
“Approximately 15% of women have chronic dyspareunia that is poorly understood, infrequently cured, often highly problematic, and distressing.”
The stigma surrounding problems such as the ones mentioned above is part of the reason why women aren’t discussing their sexual pain, especially not with healthcare practitioners.
Even if a woman feels willing and able to discuss her sex life with her doctor, the lack of research into female pain in general as well as in sexual medicine means that even more barriers crop up.
Being taught you were born unequal on a physical level instills a deep-seated inferiority complex, one I'm only starting to unlearn at age 27. When we learn we're naturally built for more pain & less pleasure, we come to accept lives where we experience more pain & less pleasure.
Other disorders such as vulvodynia, vestibulodynia, interstitial cystitis, vaginitis, vaginal atrophy, fibroids, lichen sclerosus and lichen planus (skin disorders), ovarian cysts and endometriosis have all been grossly under-reported, and awareness of these conditions is extremely limited.
Yeast infections, overly tight pelvic floor muscles, bowel problems and hormonal imbalances can also be major contributors to pain during sex, as well as STI’s.
BBC Three has recently aired a visceral visual essay series, where director Sindha Agha decided to artistically depicted the female experience of painful sex.
The beautiful video uses colourful imagery and imaginative props such as glass, metal nails, sprinkles, knives and fruit to parallel with the emotional narration:
Endometriosis sufferer Rhoda Hierons reads her own words aloud with a gorgeous and vivid backdrop, describing the pain of sex as “glass shattering inside you and embedding itself”.
Sindha Agha emotively explains the meaning behind her video: “I’m trying to create an external language for women’s innermost experiences,” she claims.
“As women, I feel we’ve been led to believe that many of our experiences are indescribable, incommunicable; that even when we can figure out how to talk about what happens inside our bodies and our minds, that we’d better not — that others don’t want to hear it because it’s too gross, too sad, too strange. Above all, that we won’t be understood."
System injustices in healthcare need to change if women ever want to truly understand and gain respect for their own bodies.
Women have never been given the tools to communicate their pain, especially not during sex. Language is not in a woman’s favour, even the medical understanding of the female anatomy is not where it should be.
Without the words, women cannot use language to communicate.
Without language, there is no voice that can even attempt to ask for the help that they desperately need.
For more information, check out some of these informative websites on pain and female sexual health:
Kissing is fun, everybody knows that. But who would have known that the act of smooching can actually give you HEALTH BENEFITS?
Does it heal your broken heart, clear your skin and boost your immune system? You're about to find out.
Strap yourselves in ladies, here are each and every glorious health benefit of puckering up. You should probably find someone to practice on…you know, for the sake of your body. It's a temple, isn't it?
Just don't do it like this:
According to a 2009 scientific study, when we kiss somebody, our bodies release hormones which can actually ease stress. In the case of men, it increases bonding too. We love a good bromance alert.
Oral healthcare, anyone?
Now, we're not saying that you shouldn't brush your teeth or use mouthwash, but allegedly, a good kiss marathon is great news for your teeth and gums. How? Listen up:
“When you’re kissing, you’re secreting more saliva in your mouth. That’s the mechanism that washes away the plaque on your teeth that leads to cavities.” A shift a day keeps the dental plaque away, girlos.
It acts as a painkiller (Seriously)
Your achy, break-y heart deserves some attention. Especially when you've got some form of cramps, like your time of the month.
Apparently, some lip action actually helps to reduce the effects of chronic pain. Some savvy scientists at Current Pharmaceutical Design conducted some research into smooching, learned that the “cuddle hormone” oxytocin is packed full of analgesic painkilling properties.
Oxytocin s released whenever you kiss and hug your partner, so do it as much as possible, we say. Blood vessel dilation after a good kissing sesh is great for reducing aches and pains, so when you're on your period, pucker up. You NEED it, right?
Hayfever or Bae-fever?
Anyone who suffers from allergies can rejoice at this news; apparently kissing eases itchy eyes and snotty noses (ew).
Researchers at Satou Hospital in Japan investigated the protective effect of kissing against allergies, and claim that locking lips for only 30 minutes can do wonders for the immune system.
It decreases the release of histamine (the chemical which is produced in response to allergens) as it relaxes you, and also can work miracles for eczema sufferers. Is there anything a great shift can't do?
No pressure, honeys
So apparently, kissing can even reduce your blood pressure? We've all felt butterflies in our stomachs and a weakening of the ol' knees, as well as a quickening heartbeat, and now we've figured out that kissing passionately does even more:
Demirjian explains: “It gets your heartbeat revved in a healthy way that lowers your blood pressure. It dilates the blood vessels, allowing blood to flow more freely, taking pressure off your organs, especially your heart and brain.”
Hot Diggedy Damn, we're 100 percent HERE for this science.
Let's talk about sex, baby, let's talk about you + me
Your sex life gets some HELLA drastic improvements from kissing; the two go together like Grace & Frankie, like women and vibrators, like Netflix and chill. You get the idea.
Kissing is also WAY more likely to increase your chances of having an orgasm. Lord knows we could use some of those…
As Carol Queen, the staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, explains;
“Kissing is a powerful type of foreplay… it helps increase the chances that both partners will have a good and pleasurable erotic experience.”
Face the Facts
So BASICALLY, kissing involves more than 30 facial muscles, which can be given a major workout from a good kiss.
According to Demirjian, tongue wrestling can strengthen your neck and jawline – very good news, as these are particularly tricky spots to exercise on a daily basis.
“Your mouth has a number of facial muscles,” she says. “When those are engaged in kissing, you can tighten and tone them.”
Tighten and tone, you say? Sign us up.
2019 Mood
A perfectly-timed kiss can be the ideal mood booster. If scientists are saying it, then it must be true, right?
Puckering up can give your body a big-time release of happiness hormones, such as serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. Ooh la la.
Those hormonal bad boys can help you relax, restore and revitalise your system. What more could you need?
NOW do you believe us about scientific research?
Grab that lad or lassie and get your smooch on, it's for your own benefit, and theirs too.
Your doctor has officially given you one prescription to visit the LOVE shack *winks*
Curtis Pritchard has opened up about why himself and Maura didn't have sex in the Love Island villa, and it makes plenty of sense.
Viewers were confused when Curtis kept rebuffing Maura's advances in bed, shutting down any chance of the pair consummating their relationship in the house.
In a joint interview with the Mail Online after the show ended, Curtis revealed the real reason behind his actions (or lack thereof).
Just catching up on @LoveIsland and the whole date thing bores me senseless
Also Curtis is clearly not into Maura either because no matter how tired men get they are never too tired for a bit of fun in the sheets.
Especially that early in a relationship #LoveIsland
"I want her and only her to experience it," Curtis told the publication. "We are in a bedroom with 14 other people!"
Maura echoed Curtis’ reason, admitting that Curtis was aware of how loud Maura might get; "I think it was more people hearing, he knows how loud I am."
The couple are back home and will have the opportunity to spend some quality alone time together away from the cameras, much to Maura's delight.
"No, we’ve not had a chance! Let’s just say, I’m sure we’ll get it done."
Curtis: “Maura, I do want to have sex with you but I also want to be the one to watch everybody sleep at night so they feel safe” #loveislandpic.twitter.com/6rK90hsp76
Many people assumed that Curtis rejected Maura’s sexual advances so that he can keep the opportunity alive of working for Strictly Come Dancing. Having sex on TV can harm such chances.
His brother AJ is part of the professional line-up, so it makes sense that he'd want to join him. When asked about his interest in the popular show, he said:
"First time I’ve heard of it, but I’d never close the door! I’d love to work with my brother he’s one of my idols."
Curtis cha-cha-cha’d his way into Maura’s heart and the pair have been smitten ever since! Congrats on landing fourth place! #LoveIslandpic.twitter.com/GX0Jo6HW1C
Maura and Curtis came in fourth place in Monday night's live final of Love Island, behind Ovie and India, Molly and Tommy and winners Greg O'Shea and Amber Gill.
Maura admits that it wasn’t the outcome she expected, throwing her support behind her best friend from the villa;
‘I’m not going to lie, I was shocked. I love Greg and Amber but Tommy and Molly-Mae were in love.
The Irish grid girl complained to the girls afterwards that she wasn't getting any orgasms from Curtis, who said he'd been too tired for sex.
Amy, his former 'half-girlfriend' who he embarrassed on live TV, has jumped to his defence and said he'd always vowed not to have sex in the villa.
Speaking to The Sun Online at Kisstory in London, she said: "If she’s waited that long she can wait a couple of days more I think."
I adore Maura but if it were the other way around and curtis was complaining saying “is it too much to ask for” imagine the outrage? If you don’t want sex you don’t want sex! #loveisland
"We’re all different people in that villa and if that’s what she wanted to ask him, well that is fine, she has been going on about how frustrated she is the whole time she has been in there. But there’s only a couple more days to go."
Many have speculated that Curtis won't go all the way on TV so that he can score a job on Strictly Come Dancing.
It was reported that he will not be returning to Dancing With The Stars Ireland, and will appear as a guest judge on Drag Race UK.
The 23-year-old dancer was the subject of cruel headlines this week after he was rumoured to have requested new clothes as he can no longer fit into any of his original outfits.
Speaking to the Daily Star, a source said: “He had to ask for some new ones because he is struggling to fit into them now.
“Curtis normally burns off a lot of calories because he's a professional dancer, but obviously in the villa he's not been training."
That doesn't seem like anybody's damn business, plus how can anyone know his sizing when he's in an isolated villa?
By now we all know that music festivals are far from the most hygienic places on earth, but when certain urges come a calling, it seems there are an awful lot of people choosing to ignore that fact.
Maybe it's the alcohol, or perhaps it's all that sunlight, but a new survey has revealed that 9.4 per cent who have had sex at a festival have done so in a portaloo.
Yes, really.
For some unknown reason, a hell of a lot of people have decided that a plastic container filled with human waste is the ideal place to get down and (very, very) dirty.
Conducted by online ticket marketplace TickPick, the research showed that one-third of the 1,000 people surveyed admitted to having sex at a music festival.
Apart from portaloos, most people chose more private locations with tents (58 per cent ), cars (48.4 per cent) and camper vans (20.3 per cent) proving to be the most popular.
When it comes to oral sex, 46.4 percent of attendees said they’ve done it with someone they just met.
So, in short, wherever and however you decide to get your festival freak on, just be sure to practice safe sex and bring plenty of wet wipes.
How many times have we heard the absurd phrase; "Women are from Venus, men are from Mars"? Too many times, that's for certain.
It's long been believed that men and women are simply wired differently when it comes to sexuality and arousal, due to the way our brains and hormones work.
Popular psychology posits that men are more visually oriented, responding to body in front of them or images. Women are presumed to be more emotionally driven and desiring intimate relationships.
The stereotype that women prefer their imaginations and reading erotica versus men being addicted to porn is neither true nor a healthy way to see arousal.
The image of men gorging on PornHub and Playboy while women masturbate once every five years has gone out the window for good, thank Goddess for that.
According to a new study, gender plays absolutely zero role when it comes to sexual arousal. This would make total sense, and will hopefully help us include those who are gender non-binary and LGBTQ+.
The latest reseearch from the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics (and published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences journal) proves that men and women aren't different when it comes to our responses to sexy stimuli.
A meta analysis of 61 previous studies conducted by researchers delivered somewhat surprising results regarding sex and cis-gender.
Members of the research group wrote: “These results offer strong quantitative evidence that the neuronal response to visual sexual stimuli, contrary to the widely accepted view, is independent of biological sex.”
AKA: We get off on the exact same things. Women are just as likely to get turned on by viewing pornographic images as men. I wonder how many (male) scientists it took to crack this code? ASK WOMEN.
Dr. Hamid Noori of the Max Planck Institute argues that while men and women may see similar brain responses to arousing video or images, they still respond in very different ways.
“There are differences in behaviour — the number of men going to porn sites is roughly 80 percent of the consumers,” Noori said. This is obviously because most porn is AIMED at men.
“But men and women respond the same way at the brain level to visual sexual stimuli. What we do with it afterwards is what brings the difference.”
One thing to note is that this study relies on meta analysis (previous research combined) rather than conducting new physical or medical tests to examine specific behaviour.
The scans are also unable to see brain activity at the most microscopic levels, so men and women can possibly show different reactions to provocative stimuli.
However, the concept of men being more turned on by images and hardcore porn while women just want 50 Shades of Grey and a secret vibrator is fairly outdated.
If they would just make porn ethical, female-friendly and LGBTQ+ inclusive then plenty of women, gay people and gender non-binary folk, would head to the sites. It's simple maths.
Studies always rely too heavily on heterosexual people, predominantly straight men, for data results. Not anymore, suckers.
Love Island's newest star Francesca Allen is finding herself in hot water after an old tweet resurfaced referencing Caroline Flack's former relationship with Harry Styles.
The show host was once called "a dirty paedophile" by the store owner when she was just 16-years-old, so we can't be judging her too harshly. Presumably she never thought she'd meet the host as well.
The tweet from 2012 was written by Francesca's friend Paige Banks, who took to the social media site to share the message;
"Highlight of the day seeing Caroline Flack and calling her a dirty pedo with Francesca Allen hahaha."
Image: Twitter/@paigeebanks
Representatives of Francesca shared a statement to the media, which reads; "This was a historic tweet that has not come from Francesca directly.
"Francesca can’t reply as she is in the villa but she would be mortified if she was judged based on the actions of a 16-year-old friend. She has a lot of respect for Caroline and is looking forward to meeting her."
Many of us remember when Caroline and Harry Styles were first pictured together as a couple in 2011, with eyebrows raised due to their 14-year age gap.
Back in 2015, Caroline revealed the massive level of abuse she received once their relationship went public;
"It began to go wrong when Harry was pictured coming out of my house one morning," Caroline wrote in her autobiography Storm In A C Cup. "And once that was out, it was open season. After that anyone could say anything. In the street people started shouting at me “paedophile” and “pervert”."
The former couple dated for a few months throughout 2011 and 2012, after a 17-year-old Harry's "captivating smile" won 32-year-old Caroline over.
"I already knew he had a crush on me, he’d made it pretty obvious," the Love Island presenter said. "It was flattering and I found it amusing. He was a kind of cheeky man/boy with a captivating smile who got what he wanted."
Francesca is seemingly unaware of the furore surrounding the ancient tweet, considering she only entered the villa three days ago. She's already caused a stir and Maura sees her as Public Enemy Number One after she chose Curtis Pritchard in the recoupling.
Shouldn't everyone dismiss the old tweet as teenage nonsense? Imagine if the things we wrote on Bebo when we were 16 were published, yeesh. We'd be finished.
Condoms have been around for decades, and now you can even buy all types of styles- ribbed, flavoured, heated, extra-thin etc.
It can slip everyone's mind that they help prevent unwanted STIs and pregnancy, particularly when you're about to get frisky with someone and they decline the condom offer.
We've heard the excuses before; "I'm too big to wear a condom", "It doesn't feel good", "It just falls off", "I can't orgasm while wearing one".
Blah, blah blah; the contraceptives available for women can cause long-term health issues, changes their entire hormonal system, often induces anxiety, migraine, dizziness or causes spotted bleeding.
The list of side effects goes on, but men often say no to a simple condom. The excuses often aren't valid, so tell your boy to wrap it up stat. Luckily for him, we've got a hack to help ease any discomfort.
Cosmopolitan's sex researcher Maureen Miller, PhD, offered some advice;
“Add a few drops of water-based lube to the inside of your condom before you put it on. Men report being amazed at how much better it feels.” SO SIMPLE.
Many condoms come with lubrication on the outside, adding just one or two drops into the tip of the condom before putting it on and rolling it down can make the world of difference for a guy's comfort.
If lube feels unreal for you, we're fairly sure it'll feel great for him too. You only need to add a little bit of lube, however. Too much will make the condom more susceptible to falling off.
Anti-baby note to remember: Oil-based lube can break the condom or thin the walls, so if you're not on any other contraceptive, make sure it's water-based lubricant. We recommend the YES brand.
“Condoms are mighty hard to break, although not impossible. The number one reason for condom breakage is that the condom was not put on properly," Miller says.
"The tip must be squeezed as the condom is being rolled down the penis so that there is room for ejaculate. Otherwise, the condom can burst," she adds. Remember: Safe sex is hot as f*ck.
There are plenty of ways to make putting on condoms super sexy; “Using your mouth, tongue, and hands, make the project of putting on a condom really erotic." Damn, we need to try this.
Dress it up whatever way you like, but giving head takes skill. Effort. Time.
It's not something that you can do half-arsed and it deffo ain't something you can do in matter of minutes.
Or so we thought.
When it comes to how long one spends going down on their guy, opinions differ.
According to this study, which surveyed 1,000 women and men, us ladies belive that blowjobs should last longer than men do.
Yep, you read that right – looks like we're just too generous.
Hey, as long as it's reciprocated.
Breaking it down, American women round it up to 11 minutes whereas Europeans gave the grand total as 9 minutes, 14 seconds.
Precise, ladies.
So lets delve deeper into the world of oral sex for guys – what are their thoughts on swallowing?
More than half of men don’t care if their partner swallows after oral sex and still report extremely satisfied with the blowjobs they’ve received.
Hardly shocking tbh.
It also seems that most lads don't even have to ask for it, with 60% of European and American women initiating blowjobs.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, when it comes to getting head or having sex, a lot of fellas would opt for the latter – 30% to be precise.
So what you can take away from this, is that next time you're getting intimate with your guy, just follow the rhythm rather than watching the minutes tick by on the clock.
We've all been absolutely addicted to Love Island over the last four weeks, and it's reminding us how tricky the single life can be.
Especially when seemingly angelic boys like Michael and Curtis stab you in the BACK at a moment's notice. We're not over it yet, it will take time. To distract us, why not attend this gas single's event?
McGowans of Phibsborough host a single's party on the first Friday of every month from 10pm, and it's becoming a huge success for the pub.
Image: Eventbrite/McGowans
Their next party is on Friday, July 12, and it could be the ideal spot to meet your perfect match and put a ring on it. Or just a great night out to have a few drinks, join in the games or just mingle with the DJ.
The pub have had so many enquiries that they've even added an extra date to due high demand, seeing as people evidently want to find that spark with someone during the summer time.
Whether you're just looking for lust or love, the party looks like unreal craic. They've got icebreakers in case you came alone, and games for you and your best wingman/wingwoman.
Summer can be a tricky time when you're single, or it can be the perfect season to have some fun with strangers. This event is definitely more of a relaxed environment, and you'll 100 percent have fun.
Entry is free of charge, you begin the night with a playing card and a free glass of Prosecco. If you can find the card's match then you get a complimentary drink.
Basically it's encouraging socialising through the handy means of alcohol. It gives you plenty of excuses to chat up the lad or lass you've been eyeing up the entire night…
McGowans do plenty on the night to calm your nerves and allow you to embrace the chilled out and fun atmosphere in the pub.
Register for free on Eventbrite for McGowan's Singles Party on July 12, and drag a mate along if you must.
You'll either find a lifelong lover or just a hilarious disaster dating story to tell the grand-kids. Either way, there's booze and banter to enjoy, so throw caution to the wind.
The popular dating app Bumble has finally created a new tool to fight back against unsolicited d*ck pics being sent and received by its users.
An AI named 'Private Detector' will be able to scan images sent in chats for signs of X-rated imagery and blur them out as well as assigning a warning.
55 million people use the app, which is claiming that it can separate out the lewd pictures with 98 percent accuracy.
The firm said: "With our revolutionary AI, we're able to detect potentially inappropriate content and warn you about the image before you open it."
"We're committed to keeping you protected from unsolicited photos so you can have a safer experience meeting new people on Bumble," the company stated.
Bumble is one of Tinder's major competitors, but works by only allowing women to initiate a chat with their matches. The app is one of the few that allows its users to trade images.
Our AI will soon be able to detect a dick pic with 98% accuracy. We’ll warn you if we think an image is lewd. https://t.co/iLKPovvUNc
In June, the AI technology trained to spot nudes will start flagging possible rude images as soon as they land in your inbox.
The pic will be blurred and will also involve a message underneath that reads: "This photo is blurred to protect you from inappropriate content." Recipients can either block and report the image or open it anyway.
Private Detector was created specifically to tackle a plague of sexual harassment and abuse which has been streaming from dating apps for years. Especially for the safety of women, dating apps can be a dangerous feature.
A YouGov poll recently found that more than half of young women have received nude pictures online, and three quarters of images were unsolicited.
"The sharing of lewd images is a global issue of critical importance," said Andrey Andreev. "It falls upon all of us in the social media and social networking worlds to lead by example and to refuse to tolerate inappropriate behaviour on our platforms."
Andreev heads up Badoo, the network of dating apps which includes Bumble.
The organisation's bosses slammed a misogynistic "small-minded" fat-shamer in a recent open letter, and banned him from the app, according to The Sun.
