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split up

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Many of us have the unpleasant experience under our belt of dating an absolute snake. You know the one; the eternal f*ckboi who most likely ghosts you after slithering into your heart, who can't commit to a relationship and even cheats.

He's fluent in Parseltongue and has been a core member of the Slytherin Quidditch team for years.

His best mate is Draco Malfoy, he calls him 'Malfy' for short, and goes golfing with his dad Lucius every Saturday.

harry potter GIF

He wears Taylor Swift's snake print Reputation merch, but won't listen to her empowering tunes. He makes you pay for both of you on nights out, and flirts with your mates.

He gaslights the crap out of you, and gives double-handed compliments that are disguised as compliments.

Most likely he says he wants more space, even though you barely see him, and tries to argue that your relationship is casual instead of serious, no matter what the circumstances are.

Sounds familiar? Well, we've got some hiss-worthy revenge for you, best served cold.

slithering jack quaid GIF by Vinyl

A competition is being run by Wild Life Sydney to name their brown snakes after a douchebag ex, and requires the entrants to say why their ex best deserves it. GENIUS.

The programme also asks participants to donate to it's conservation fund, to help Australian native wildlife by funding research and education. It's a Valentine's Day treat, if you ask us.

The zoo's general manager, Mark Connolly, said that the competition could give "someone unlucky in love … something else to celebrate on Valentine’s Day this year."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by (@wildlifesydneyzoo) on

The winner gets to have a snake named after your slimy ex-conquest, and also an annual pass to visit your trashy snake in the zoo.

How adorable…the winner will be announced on Valentines Day to fit the romantic mood.

We can think of a fair few names to be put forward of men who have MAJORLY hissed us off, what about you ladies? 

Feature image: News24

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Rapper Cardi B has split from her husband of one year, Offset, following rumours of his infidelity. 

Cardi welcomed a baby daughter with the fellow rapper just four months ago, named Kulture. 

The 26-year-old broke the news on Instagram via her favourite method – a feed video. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by CARDIVENOM (@iamcardib) on

'So everybody been bugging me and everything and you know I’ve been trying to work things out with my baby father for a hot minute now,' she said. 

'We are really good friends and we are really good business partners— you know he’s always somebody that I run to  talk to, and we got a lot of love for each other but things just haven’t been working out between us for a long time.'

'It’s nobody’s fault I guess we just grew out of love but we are not together anymore,' she said, in the post captioned 'peace and love.' 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by CARDIVENOM (@iamcardib) on

'I don’t know it might take time to get a divorce and I’m going to always have a lot of love for him because he is my daughter’s father.'

Offset the commented 'Y'all won' under the post. 

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They announced their separation a few days ago on their social media accounts. 

And now Binky Felstead has opened up about how tough this week has been on her.

The 28-year-old former Made in Chelsea star took to Instagram to write a detailed post about what she's gone through in the wake of her split from Josh ''JP'' Patterson.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

This week has been an emotional one for me, so I wanted to say thank you so much for all your support, it really means a lot. . However I couldn’t let today go by without thanking the mamas that came along to this week’s @mummytribe retreats with their little ones, made me smile, shared stories (and wine) and generally helped look after me! You have all been amazing, and being with you this week was exactly what I needed. Lots of powerful, kind and smart women to hang out with. . It just goes to show that we don’t need to be comparing ourselves as women, we need to join together and support one another wherever and whenever we can. Please keep in touch ladies, it’s honestly been so so amazing to have met each and every one of you. That’s the beauty of these retreats, we really get to know each other! A huge thank you too to my amazing Mummy Tribe team, including all the amazing interns who joined us – you guys rock (and I know how hard you all worked!) . I’ll do a separate post to thank all the INCREDIBLE experts that came along – because I cant physically fit you all in to one post – but you all need a mention because you’re where the magic comes in. . For now though, over and out. I’m at home, being pampered by MY Mummy and looking forward to a chilled weekend in the country. Love to you all x x x

A post shared by BINKY FELSTEAD (@binkyfelstead) on

Uploading a picture of her gorgeous daughter India, Binky thanked everyone for the support she has received since the announcement. 

She captioned it, ''this week has been an emotional one for me, so I wanted to say thank you so much for all your support, it really means a lot.''

She thanked the mum's who joined her at saying that they, ''made me smile, shared stories (and wine) and generally helped look after me! You have all been amazing, and being with you this week was exactly what I needed. Lots of powerful, kind and smart women to hang out with.''

She continued, ''it just goes to show that we don’t need to be comparing ourselves as women, we need to join together and support one another wherever and whenever we can. Please keep in touch ladies, it’s honestly been so so amazing to have met each and every one of you. That’s the beauty of these.''

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Casually stole this cute dog for my insta shot. dress @inthestyle 

A post shared by BINKY FELSTEAD (@binkyfelstead) on

Binky's 1.4 million followers were quick to post comments of love and support. 

One wrote, ''take care of you and your lovely daughter! That's the most important for now'' while another said, ''you will be absolutely fine, you're a beautiful person and you adore your little one. I brought my son up on my own and he is kind considerate gorgeous young man.''

We're sending you lots of love Binky, we know she will be absolutely fine and continue to be an amazing mum to little India. 

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Die-hard Mixers went on high alert this week after Jesy Nelson stopped following her fiancé Jake Roche on social media.

And if that wasn't suspicious enough, the 25-year-old Little Mix singer, who already delayed her wedding in recent months, was then spotted out and about without her engagement ring.

Alarm bells went off in all corners of the Little Mix fandom, and it seems they were right to presume the worst because it looks like it's all over between the couple.

According to emerging reports, Jesy was devastated by Jake's lack of enthusiasm for their upcoming wedding and struggled to understand his attitude towards their big day.

"Jesy has gone through an intense amount of soul searching and emotional strain as the wedding plans became more intense – and she just couldn’t go through with it’, a source told LOOK magazine.

It sounds like the former X Factor contestant began doubting the authenticity of her relationship with Jake, and eventually decided it would be better to bring things to an end.

"As the wedding got closer she found herself asking if her and Jake were really as deeply in love as they wanted to think. She texted him and said she doesn’t feel she can go on and needs a break to really work out what she wants in life.’ the insider revealed.

According to the report, Jesy feared that their relationship relied too heavily on external factors.

"She’s been really worried that she was going to start living out her worst nightmare – having a ‘showmance’ marriage where it was more about the careers and the attention than actually really building a life and strong marriage together."

Commenting further on the split, the insider revealed that Jesy focussed her attention on the future and unfortunately realised that they would be unlikely to survive in the long run.

"She wanted to see him taking more interest in the wedding plans, in working out when they were going to try for a baby and basically see him settle down more – and it simply didn’t happen."

Aw Jesy, at least you have your girls right now.
 

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It has certainly been the year for celebrity split-ups and this time Ruby Rose and Phoebe Dahl are going their separate ways. 

The Orange Is The New Black actress and her fashion designer fiancée called it quits on their engagement over the weekend. 

The striking duo were together for two years and announced their engagement back in March 2014. At the time, Ruby explained that she had asked Phoebe to marry her three times before changing her mind and asking her. 

"It's completely amicable and they wish each other the best," says a source close to the couple. It is reported that the distance put a strain on their relationship as Ruby usually travels for work. 

Ruby is currently working on Resident Evil: The Final Chapter and after that she is shooting John Wick 2 with Keanu Reeves. 

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When moving on from a bad break-up, cleaning your environment of everything that reminds you of them is a painful but necessary process.

But a new website is about to make that process a bit easier for you. The site, called Never Liked It Anyway, is an all-round solution for shedding your emotional baggage by allowing users to sell everything their former flame gave them, or items around the house that remind you of days gone-by. 

Yes, this site is fast becoming the home for the heartbroken and lets you make a buck from your break-up… which is a lot safer than trying to burn it all. 

The idea for the site came to marketing consultant, Bella Acton, who had her own personal experience of splitting up and being left with two expensive place tickets. 

“If you look at it, there’s $2 billion in the dating space and zero dollars in the break-up space,” she told Quartz.

But she also stresses that the site isn’t all about making money off people's emotional misfortune. 

Bella said: “We started Never Liked It Anyway to make moving on easier. It’s a place to shed the stories and the stuff.”

With every item that is uploaded to the website, space is given to allow the user to write why they feel they need to part with the piece, and what they plan to do with the money to help them ‘bounce back.’

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It's heartbreak in Hollywood as Pitch Perfect actress Rebel Wilson and YouTube comedian Mickey Gooch Jr have decided to go their separate ways. 

Insiders of the couple believe that there is still a chance of reconciliation as Mickey still has strong feelings for the star. 

A source told US Weekly: "It's been hard for him. They're still friends, so you never know if they might get back together in the future."

News of the break-up comes just four months after the couple decided to go public with their relationship.  

The pair were first spotted together on a date in June this summer.

And just last month it was reported that the comedy-duo were set to wed at the Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas later this year – but after this news we doubt that's going ahead. 

In July, the couple enjoyed holidays in Spain and Dubai, while also partying it up in The Hard Rock Ibiza. 

We hope Rebel and Mickey reconcile because they look like one fun-loving couple! 

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And… it's off again!

We really can't keep up with J-Law and 38-year-old Chris Martin's relationship. But then it seems, neither can they.

It was reported during early summer that the pair split up, but a few weeks later they were caught looking quite cosy when they spent the July 4 weekend together in New York.

In the last week however, after Jennifer, 25, has celebrated her birthday without her man by her side. Now multiple sources told US website People, that the couple are definitely NOT together right now. 

According to People, the Oscar-winning actress got "tired of Chris being so noncommittal."

The famous pair both have very busy lives which may have triggered the split. 

"Chris doesn't really want the relationship to end, but he needs to be flexible so he can see his family as much as possible with his own work schedule," says a source.

"He's crazy about Jen but wants to keep his own schedule and be able to do what he wants when he wants to do it." 

We love this Hollywood couple (despite the numerous break-ups) and hope they patch everything up (again) sometime soon. 

"They still care about each other, so I can't say the romance is completely over", added the People source. 

We can only wait and see we guess!

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