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worst roommates

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1. The Drama Queen
Most college houses wouldn’t be complete without their daily dose of drama served by this roommate. Drama in all its forms energises them and they will destroy all roommate relations. Not a good one to be.

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2. The One Who Loves Drugs
This guy indulges multiple times a day and his room has a rather suspicious odour. That shed in the back garden that he frequents a little too often? Quite possibly a growhouse.

3. The One Who Hates Drugs
This one is the nemesis of Roommate No.2 and they are often found in confrontational situations.

4. The Clean Freak
It’s good to remain on excellent terms with this roommate as it will often be them who is cleaning up after everyone else after the house inevitably gets trashed. Do not take advantage or you will end up sleeping on Domino’s pizza boxes and empty cans when they go on strike.

5. The Party Animal
You know the guy. Ents Rep, out every night, perpetual Fresher. His life view is that life doesn’t get much better than a shoulder of vodka and he’d sell his soul for a hot chicken roll. Constantly skint. You will share the best of times with this guy in college. Just don’t expect him to loan you €2 in your time of need…or pay his rent on time.

6. The One Who Always Takes Someone Home
Always. And you’re the one left making them toast the next morning.

7. The Society Queen
She is the absolute nicest person in the world but she has a serious problem with saying no to societies. We’ve all signed up for Young Fine Gael because they gave you free lollipops on Clubs & Socs Day, but she will attend every meeting and manage every event, while juggling being Secretary for Amnesty, Treasurer for LGBT and Auditor for Law Soc. Some how she’ll still manage to get a First in the summer exams.

8. The One Who Studies All the Time
He’s the one constantly burning the midnight oil in his room and you’re never really sure if he’s still living with you. He may come out. Just once. For Rag Week. He will spend the rest of the year in his room inventing the iPhone 9 and writing code.

9. The Slutbag
You know the one who goes out with the tan blazing like Ron Burgundy’s glorious moustache, the lashes smacking you against the wall on the way out the door and the naggin strapped cheekily to her thigh? Now you have a name for her.

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In college, many of us students live away from home. You either live with random people you’ve never met before or people you have known your whole life. As you live alone and seek independence, qualities of your personality emerge that you never knew existed. Habits you never knew you had, or things that annoy the crap out of you that never annoyed you before, are coming to the surface. This combination is leading to a hostile living environment and one of you is about to crack. If you are walking on troubled territory and you feel like there is a toxic vibe, not to worry, I can help you here. Whether you want to kick them out or you are being thrown out, here are the reasons Why You’re A Sh*t Roommate.

1. They Don’t Clean Up
They never do it and when it is done they never acknowledge it. It is like the birds from heaven came down and picked up their dirty clothes. They never acknowledge that their roommate did it. 

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2. Then They Do Decide To Clean It’s At 2am When You’re Trying To Sleep
You don’t know why but some evening for a slight 3 hours your roommate decides it is their time to clean. And what time is best to clean? Ah, yes, at two in the morning. This aggravates you even more but you can’t say anything because they are doing what you asked them to do.

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3. They Are So Loud When They Come Home After A Night Out
They barge in and knock over anything in their sight. They are like a drunk gorilla and any food they find they will devour. They will also talk on their phone, and to themselves, as loudly as humanly possible.

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4. Their Other Half Has Slowly Moved In Without You Even Noticing
Their boyfriend or girlfriend is over quite a bit, but you’re usually in college or at work when they call over. Then before you know it, you’re finding stacks of their clothes around the house and then it finally hits you – they have basically moved in. NOOOOOOOO.

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5. They Borrow Your Clothes Without Asking
You realize that you are missing a few items. You approach your roommates bedroom with extra caution. The coast is clear. Then you begin to see many of your possessions decorating their floor. Why didn’t they just ask?

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6. They Always Eat Your Leftovers
No matter how many times you have stressed that you keep your leftovers for lunch the next day, they still take them. They don’t see what’s wrong with this even though every time it happens you are fuming.

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7. They Constantly Complain About Money
Money this, money that. We know you have some, so cut the bullsh*t because no one wants to hear your excuses. Just say why you actually don’t want to do something instead of saying you have no money.

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8. They Find The Time To Buy New Clothes & Go On Nights Out But Can’t Afford The Rent
Rent is always a struggle for them even though they go out twice at the weekends and always have new things. It is mind boggling and infuriating. Cough up the rent now you animal.

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9. They Won’t Even Buy Necessities For The House
They never buy toilet paper, soap or fairy liquid, but will be first to complain when it’s not there. And if they do, they will want to split it 10 ways even though you have never asked them to pay for something so small.

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10. They Never Take Out The Bins
You ask and ask and ask but they never do. Only when you shout a little louder and stand beside them will they take out the bins. Is it so much to ask for them to do it on their own accord?

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11. If You Do The Slightest Thing Wrong They Will Be Very Quick To Judge
If you do the tiniest thing wrong your roommate will immediately be on your case. You can’t fight back with all the stuff you have put up with because you should of said it at the time.

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12. They Get With Your Ex And Your Male Friends and Your Current Boyfriend
Even if you went out 6 months ago or 4 years ago and even if you never dated, this is going to be very awkward. Even if you don’t like your ex at all anymore, you shouldn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of them being around your house. And you don’t want to see your guy friends in compromising situations or deal with the fallout of a disastrous hook-up. 

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Hannibal Lector would be a picnic to live with compared to this lot.

The Flirt
She’ll parade around in her scantiest outfits when your boyfriend visits, she does yoga stretches in the middle of the living room when your brother is staying for the weekend and she hits on your best mate’s boyfriend on nights out. Nobody is safe with ‘The Flirt’.

The Slob
She’ll forget to flush, leaving nasty surprises in the toilet bowl, she’ll cut her toenails in the kitchen and laughs when the clippings land in your cereal and doesn’t flinch when the pans she left in the sink for days have grown beards.

The Couple
You only ever recall moving in with one person but find yourself now sharing with two – your roommate and her boyfriend. They’re not shy of PDAs when you’re sharing a sofa, they keep you awake at night with their Oscar-worthy arguments and worse yet, the making up after.

The Copy Cat
She’ll copy your style, love/hate the same things you do and turn up in the same places you said you’d be. Be afraid, be very afraid.

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