Zosia Mamet, one of the stars of the hit HBO series Girls, has revealed that she “nearly died” from an eating disorder in her teens.
Her issues started very young, when at eight-years-old someone told her she was fat.
“I’m not fat; I’ve never been fat.” Zosia says. “But ever since then, there has been a monster in my brain that tells me I am – that convinces me my clothes don’t fit or that I’ve eaten too much.”
Her obsession with weight and appearance reached their peak in her teens, as the disorder took over her life.
Zosia unflinchingly details how bad things had become: “ As a teenager I used to stand in front of the refrigerator late at night staring into that white fluorescent light, debilitated by the war raging inside me: whether to give in to the pitted hunger in my stomach or close the door and go back to bed,”
“I would stand there for hours, opening and closing the door, taking out a piece of food then putting it back in; taking it out, putting it in my mouth, and then spitting it into the garbage. I was only 17, living in misery, waiting to die.”
It was Zosia’s father, award winning playwright David Mamet who intervened and got her into treatment, saving her life.
He came home one night from a party, took me by the shoulders, and said, ‘You’re not allowed to die.”
This was a wake up call for Zosia. “It was the first time I realised this wasn’t all about me. I didn’t care if I died, but my family did.”
“That’s the thing about these kinds of disorders: They’re consuming; they make you egocentric; they’re all you can see.”
Today Zosia feels she has come to terms with her past issues and is now happy at a healthy weight.
“It may never disappear completely”, she says, “but hopefully one day it’ll be so quiet, it’ll only be a whisper and I’ll wonder, ‘Was that just the wind?’
If you or someone you know is struggling with body image or eating disorders, you can call Bodywhys at 1890200444
