The only bedroom tips men will (probably) ever need

It more-or-less confirmed what a lot of us gals suspected all along – it’s tough to sync up your libido with your man's: he’s gagging for it when you’re wrecked, and when you’re in the mood, he’s distracted by something else.

Now a Lovehoney survey has confirmed that while the average woman likes action between the sheets at 11.21pm, men are more likely to be turned on at 7.54am.

The same research found that a third of both men and woman have dated someone whose sex drive was not compatible with their own.

But with 36 percent of women also confessing that their 'up for it' radar is affected by their mood, we reckon that the men of Ireland would welcome some friendly bedroom advice and top tips…

Take it easy on the Fifty Shades stuff:

We love a bit of Jamie Dornan, sure, but full-on dirty talk? Maybe not. And as for getting physical – there’s a big difference between being playful and going in for a full on, uninvited smack on the bum. Unless we’ve chatted about it in advance, it’s best to avoid Red Room Of Pain-style activities entirely.

Take off your socks:

Hey – we get it. You’re consumed by passion when you see us. But in the midst of your desire, take the time to take off your socks. Granted, there isn’t really a sexy, strip-tease move for disrobing your feet, but disrobed they must be – without exception.

Clean yourself up for post-roll-in-the-hay snuggling:

Snuggling up post-session to a sweaty, smelly gorilla is no one's idea of fun. No assumptions here, but if you feel you’re less than spring-fresh, nip off to the bathroom for teeth-cleaning, nose-blowing, and deodorant-spraying. And frankly, it gives us a chance to “get ourselves together” too.

Keep in mind we’re not always body-confident:

We know you think we’re a goddess; but we ourselves sometimes feel less than our best. Lights blazing, blankets off, everything in full, unobstructed view is all well and good, but do try and judge the mood: if the lights are off, maybe they’re off for a reason.

Acknowledge it when we make the effort:

We’re spray-tanned, pedicured and (largely) hair-free – not only that, we’ve gone out and bought new underwear (it may be Penney’s; but it’s still lovely). If we’re making an extra special effort to mark an anniversary, birthday or milestone event, a kind word of thanks goes a long way… because a matching bra and pants deserves recognition.

Courtship isn’t dead yet:

We may be together for a couple of years, and sure things have gotten more, ahem, comfortable in that time, but the odd card, bunch of daffodils, or M&S dine-in meal goes a long way. Because sometimes dynamite in the bedroom starts in unlikely places – like in recycling being taken out before we have to ask.

And a few friendly words of wisdom for all involved parties…

• Don’t check your phone mid-session. Ever.
• Make sure you say the right name – that includes avoiding any mention of Ryan Gosling or Beyonce.
• Don’t compare your current squeeze to your ex (this happens).